Hard to watch people regain

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  • Quote: My mother in law may LOVE a dessert. But she'll eat one small piece the first day and none the next. My husband will take one small nibble of chocolate.
    God, what's WRONG with these people? I know, I know, nothing at all. I'm just envious of them (and also irrationally annoyed by them).

    F.
  • Quote: Absolutely agree. I used to be quite embarrassed over my love for food, especially since my husband is one of those "naturally thin"--or should I say "naturally restrained"---eaters who has never had a weight problem. A few years back, though, I was reading a book titled The Rules of Normal Eating, and the author pointed out that those of us who struggle with our weight often have undeserved admiration for those who seem to be able to effortlessly maintain a healthy weight while eating what they want. She pointed out, though, that those "naturally thin" eaters simply have a better internal barometer of their fullness/satiety level, but that those same people may be very poor at handling finances or may be lousy at picking up on social cues or may be poor at time management or a myriad of other issues. In other words, some of us may be great at something like managing money, something that may be incredibly difficult for other people. That helped me to put my struggle to eat moderately into perspective and become less embarrassed about it.
    THIS. I spent so much time feeling "lesser" than thinner friends. I have a friend that has been pointed to the point of cruelty about my eating habits before I started dieting. I vividly remember her judging me on a very stressful day when I asked for a big coke.

    As I've gone down this path and realized my eating was an addiction and not a moral failing, I've come to realize that she's a borderline alcoholic. I was so busy hating myself and she was so busy pointing out my flaw, that I didn't notice hers.

    Really, the only difference is that mine has left a visible consequence (my weight), and as of yet, hers hasn't.
  • Quote: Absolutely agree. I used to be quite embarrassed over my love for food, especially since my husband is one of those "naturally thin"--or should I say "naturally restrained"---eaters who has never had a weight problem. A few years back, though, I was reading a book titled The Rules of Normal Eating, and the author pointed out that those of us who struggle with our weight often have undeserved admiration for those who seem to be able to effortlessly maintain a healthy weight while eating what they want. She pointed out, though, that those "naturally thin" eaters simply have a better internal barometer of their fullness/satiety level, but that those same people may be very poor at handling finances or may be lousy at picking up on social cues or may be poor at time management or a myriad of other issues. In other words, some of us may be great at something like managing money, something that may be incredibly difficult for other people. That helped me to put my struggle to eat moderately into perspective and become less embarrassed about it.
    I agree with this.

    I also have read that some "naturally thin" people (for lack of a better term) also find it very uncomfortable to be even full, let alone stuffed, after eating. And using those terms is so very subjective, I know, but I don't know a better way to say it. So no doubt they likely do have a better internal satiety clock than others.

    I believe I've written this before here on the forums, but I had one friend years ago who absolutely hated to eat. I know, crazy, huh? And she never felt hunger, at least in the way most people do. She only knew she needed to eat when she started getting a headache. And she had no taste for any type of really good food either. She seemed to subsist mostly on sandwiches. I do remember that she ate very, very slowly. She just didn't eat much at all.

    Yes, she was quite thin.

    And she lived in New Orleans and worked in the French Quarter.

    So much delightful food, and she could not have cared less for any of it.
  • Quote: God, what's WRONG with these people? I know, I know, nothing at all. I'm just envious of them (and also irrationally annoyed by them).

    F.
    Thin for life... and totally not understanding of how it's not the same for me. Man, I WISH!
  • Interesting thread & comments... I must say that I am not drawn to sweets (never have been even as a baby) but go crazy over the other flavours such as bitter, sour, and savoury I even loved to suck on lemons when I was a baby and I took grapefruit to school every day
    My issues are with full fat extra old cheeses, etc.
  • Quote: ... but I had one friend years ago who absolutely hated to eat. I know, crazy, huh? And she never felt hunger, at least in the way most people do. She only knew she needed to eat when she started getting a headache.
    My mother in law is quite like this. She will decide how much food looks like a normal amount of food. That might mean one night she consumes 800 calories for dinner and the next 200. She has no concept of how many calories are in things or what should be satiating and what shouldn't be.

    If anything is bugging her digestion, she'll just decide to not eat - perhaps for a day or two.

    She eats, her words, "because it's time to eat." Not because she is hungry. She rarely gets hungry. I am completely envious.

    Most of the weight loss journey I was hungry and wondering when I could eat next and what could I eat. I would try all sorts of tricks to keep full, but I would still get hungry - low carbing it too. If I weren't low carbing it? I would be RAVENOUS all the time.

    So, she can't understand how I just "don't eat" to lose weight or, understand why I have to eat when I am starving at 4 pm and can't wait for dinner and have dinner before everyone else (my metabolism runs so that I'm hungry the first part of the day and not the last part of the day).

    There is a reason I got fat and she did not.
  • Quote: I believe I've written this before here on the forums, but I had one friend years ago who absolutely hated to eat. I know, crazy, huh? And she never felt hunger, at least in the way most people do. She only knew she needed to eat when she started getting a headache. And she had no taste for any type of really good food either. She seemed to subsist mostly on sandwiches. I do remember that she ate very, very slowly. She just didn't eat much at all.

    Yes, she was quite thin.

    And she lived in New Orleans and worked in the French Quarter.

    So much delightful food, and she could not have cared less for any of it.
    This is going to sound crazy, but I would also hate to be like your friend. That feeling is paradoxical since I envy those people who don't want food as much as I do. Yet at the same time, I am not ready to let go of the pleasure that food gives me. The very thing that is my source of angst is also my source of pleasure. This is one of the reasons that I've always disliked it when people tell me that they treat food as mere "fuel" for their bodies. I wouldn't want food to be just fuel.
  • Quote: Same here, as you know. The stronger, hotter (spice-wise) and hotter (temperature-wise), the better. It's obviously difficult to prove, but I don't believe it's a matter of muted taste buds as much as an attraction to strong, somewhat harsh sensations
    You may be onto something. I tend to be somewhat of an extremist in other aspects of life as well (getting more moderate with age, though), so maybe there's a connection.
  • I know someone who have a baby daughter, not yet two years old. Since birth, this girl just will. Not. Eat. They have to literally force her to eat. She shows absolutely no interest in food at all. And, in fact, seems to find it distasteful. They have taken her to countless doctors, and none of them can figure out what is wrong with her. The little girl is very very small, but otherwise developmentally fine so far.

    So yeah. Both ways can be harmful, you know?
  • "It was the first time I fully realized how meticulous I would have to be and I didn't know if I could be that "on" for the rest of my life."

    Melissa,
    This is exactly how I feel. I've been at goal for almost a year, but kind of have to be in a mind set of "losing" to maintain. ..
    "On" is exactly it....I feel like if I lose concentration my mental and physical work will tumble down around me and the weight will pile on.
  • Quote: You may be onto something. I tend to be somewhat of an extremist in other aspects of life as well (getting more moderate with age, though), so maybe there's a connection.
    Hmmm... Me too... But then so is my husband, but in games, not food!
  • Quote: "It was the first time I fully realized how meticulous I would have to be and I didn't know if I could be that "on" for the rest of my life."

    Melissa,
    This is exactly how I feel. I've been at goal for almost a year, but kind of have to be in a mind set of "losing" to maintain. ..
    "On" is exactly it....I feel like if I lose concentration my mental and physical work will tumble down around me and the weight will pile on.
    I k ow that is how I need to be and I "lost it". I turned off. I simply cannot.
  • re:
    There's been studies that show a certain chemical, I think it's Leptin, regulate the feeling of fullness.

    I would think that a great deal of people that struggle with being full may have issues with that hormone.

    I know I am consistently shocked by people who eat half a piece of chicken and are full. It's just their makeup though, as I am never full unless eating an enormous amount of food.
  • Quote: There's been studies that show a certain chemical, I think it's Leptin, regulate the feeling of fullness.

    I would think that a great deal of people that struggle with being full may have issues with that hormone.

    I know I am consistently shocked by people who eat half a piece of chicken and are full. It's just their makeup though, as I am never full unless eating an enormous amount of food.

    I think there must be some truth to this. Also, though, my experience is that hunger is not the main reason I overeat. I eat because I love the taste of the food I"m eating and want more of it. I can be physically not hungry and still want to eat. Right now, for example, I just went out to breakfast and ate a Greek omelet w/ buttered multigrain toast. I'm physically full, yet I want something sweet. If I had a piece of my homemade pecan pie in front of me, I would have to bite my knuckles not to eat it. It's not hunger; it's just that I like the taste of pecan pie. Also, I like the feeling of being Full (note the capital F), and I think that what I consider "comfortably full" someone else might consider uncomfortably "stuffed." Although I'm not a binger, I am the type of person who would only really be satisfied if I can have a hearty dinner followed by a sizeable piece of cake or other dessert (e.g., pint of ice cream). When I have such meals, I don't really think about food for the rest of the night.
  • Quote: Well said. I believe that every adult who loves to eat, whether trying to lose weight or not, needs to exercise restraint in order to keep from gaining weight. I've had several "naturally thin" friends tell me that they "have to be careful." They just accept it as part of life.

    F.
    Restraint is a nice word. Restriction is horrible, it's like treating myself like an insolent teenager by telling myself not to do something. But restraint I can live with.

    Restriction requires unnecessary brute force. Restraint requires logic and compassion, for which I can employ tactics such as weighing my options of what food I really want to eat, my hunger level etc. When my inner rebel asks Restriction "but why can't I eat it?" Restriction says "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" and if you're anything like me then you know them are fightin words lol.