Ditto. I've only done a weight loss once before - lost 50 and gained it all back plus 40 more! Scared me to death so much that I didn't try again for years and years until my health forced me to try again.

I've learned a lot about myself in that time - my triggers for poor decisions and so on, but I totally empathize the regain. BTDT and I hate seeing others struggle the same way I did.

I also feel bad watching others regain. I'm sure other people felt the same way when they saw me lose and gain and lose again, rinse and repeat. I feel like I've learned some lessons that nobody could have ever taught me...I had to experience the regain for myself to truly *get* it....at least I think I get it.

I have seen it and lived it myself two times. It is hard to devote so much time and effort, only to be defeated in the end. I worry about this happening to me again. I couldn't handle it emotionally.

I think maintaining is harder than losing! I've been 145-165-128-198-138-186-142-168 and now 148...all in the last 8 years. I'm trying but it is not easy!!!! I never think of how my parents feel other than disappointment, which is painful to be aware of.

Losing is easy! Maintaining? That's another ball game.

It took me from the age of 16 to 52 to figure out maintaining.

I feel for you and your friends, it's tough to see them work so hard to lose, and then, gain it back and more. I have been those people!

All I can say is one afternoon in the garden, while having a pity party, I realized, that it was all up to me, to make the good choices or NOT.

Since then, I make more good choices than bad. It's a tough road, but I decided that I needed to put me first. I'm no good to anyone else, if I'm not healthy and happy.

I have to admit, I don't have anyone in my real life that's lost a considerable amount of weight only to regain it, but I do have tons of people who have started a healthy eating plan, stuck to it for a short time, make some progress only to give it up for a variety of reasons. One of these people and the one that hurts the most, is my mom. She is like the healthy eating oracle of the world. If there's a book or article on diet or exercise, she's read it. She has all the theory down. She says she wants me to help and I try but there's just a gap between knowing what to do and doing it. And this is even for me, who's been doing this for 4 years now.

It definitely hurts and I feel bad because I know how much she wants it and I want as much for her to succeed, but at the same time, I know what it took for me was more than "wanting it." It took being ready to commit no matter what and that's a hard point to come to everyday, when it's hard and you don't feel like it. But at the same time, as much as I want her to succeed, I can't do it for her or get to that point for her. So as much as I want to help, and drag her kicking and screaming to success, I can't. Most day's I can barely keep up with dragging myself over the "on-plan" line. The best I can do is keep hoping for her and praying for her and encouraging her when she's on plan, inviting her to go walking with me, and supporting her in every way I can. And I have to believe that's good enough.

Berry, you're writing this helped me a lot because I've always been the one who loses and then regains more, and it's been a lifelong cycle. I've always thought that my friends and family were probably disgusted with me. It never dawned on me that they might feel badly for me knowing how much I wanted to lose the weight, but never before having the right approach and mindset.

And, no, I can't imagine that your continued downward loss makes them jealous. Maybe envious, but a real friend wouldn't be jealous.

With that said, it's a tough situation to be in -- do you say something or not? do you offer suggestions or just keep quiet? are there stealth ways of incorporating support into the conversation or would they just see through that?

But, you might reconsider posting something similar to what you've written here on your blog. I think we're all afraid that we'll regain the weight. Maybe writing about that topic and offering ways you're continuing the daily challenge would help them.

Thanks for your thoughtful post.

As one of those people who lost a considerable amount of weight only to regain most of it back, this has been a very interesting thread to read. I was definitely embarassed about people seeing my weight going up and down (well, really down and up! lol!) and that is part of what I am having to work through this time as I lose it again. And there is certainly fear that I could lose my way and regain again. But I'm hoping that sticking with 3fc and planning out strategies to prevent that from happening will contribute to making this the time that I finally succeed in sticking with this all the way through the losing process and into maintenance (where I know there will be new challenges to face, of course!)

In my case, I didn't really have anyone in real life who was losing at the same time as me. And I think I'm glad in a way - it would just be one more unknown variable to handle. Whether they succeeded when I failed or vice versa, I would have to deal with it. So in a selfish way, I'm sort of glad that I'm doing this alone, at least as far as real life. I definitely couldn't do it alone with the support on 3fc!!

I've been the regainer. I've seen people regain. This time though I know I can regain, I also know what it takes to stay smaller.

I eat anything I want to now, already, and I believe that I am eating normally. It's just that before I wasn't eating normally, I was eating abnormally. Overeating. Bingeing. Choosing foods that spiked my sugar and then sent me crashing. That's not normal and it's certainly not healthy.

Melissa - every time I see you mention cheetos as your binge food it makes me cringe. That's about the one salty snack I could never eat. I ate cheetos and grape soda when I was about four or five while on a long car trip and got soooo sick on them (probably travel sickness not really from the food) I can still remember choosing them out of the vending machine at the interstate rest stop. And I can still remember throwing up in the car. Lifelong aversion. Even the smell...

I just wish I'd also been sick on potato chips, fritos, doritos and fries.

It's VERY common to gain weight back up. I was down to 110 (my lowest has been 100 when i was borderline anorexic) when i got launched to 169 AFTER my pregnancy. Not right after it either mind you. It took me 4 years to get there. BUT the good thing is that i didn't gain as much i had the first time. That time i was 189 pounds. The heaviest i've ever been in my life. So yes i did regain (i sometimes find it inevitable), BUT it was MUCH less, and plus back then i was smoking whilst now i am going 9 years smoke free and i am also a mom. So i suppose that even though i regained i am in MUCH better shape than i used to be...... Keep thinking positive. You 'may' regain, hopefully you won't......but i am sure that in your mindset it will be minuscule.....

For your friends it is absolutely normal to feel sadness. Keep supporting them to get back on track!

How ironic for this thread to pop up. I wrote it nearly a year ago. At that time I was at or near my lowest weight ever which is around 165

In that year, I went up to 170, vacation weight up to 189, down to 170 after vacation, then with major stress and injury, up to 185 and then the holidays, up to 197. Then back on plan and down to 185.

So I have regained some and I did so extremely quickly. And I'm finding it very very hard to lose this latest gain. In the last 11 months I have lost a total of 32 pounds, but I'm 20 pounds over where I was when I wrote it.

In some ways, for others, it's good. They can see I'm human and that I make mistakes. That I struggle. But for me it's frustrating.

I have learned so much with the partial regain. My thought of being able to eat what I wanted within moderation isn't true for me. Carbs make me balloon up fast and create terrible cravings. I need to steer clear of them if I want to maintain my weight loss for life.

I am proud of myself for not giving up and proud of myself for maintaining the losses that I have maintained.

I'm also happy to say one of my real world friends is back at the weight loss thing and I'm cheering her on and she welcomes my support.

And I'm pushing myself to get back to where I was!!!!

The possibility of regaining scares the #$% out of me! Been there, done that! And the three times I've lost before, I not only regained, I put back on 30 to 40 additional pounds each time.

This is what I finally realized I must do. In the past I dieted without a long term plan. I lost, but then I eventually regained. Most of the time I started regaining before I ever reached my goal. My long term maintenance will be very similar to what I am doing now, but with less restrictions.

I've regained once before but it took me a long time. I have always been big but managed to slim down between the ages of 17 and 21. I looked great. Fast forward 17 years and I had, year by year, creeped up to 280lbs. I never thought I would be able to lose the weight again, like I did in my teens, but with the good tips on here I have started to! I am a guy who learns from his mistakes. So this time I am going to try to eat healhier and avoid the junk once the weight is off. Salads are here to stay.

I feel bad but some people don't want to hear unsolicited, factual advice. I tried to give a friend advice once when she was complaining about her weight but she became irritated so I say nothing now. I don't even talk about my weightloss with her.

Of course, most people lose weight for themselves...that's the way it should be.