How is this for a reverse non scale victory - a nonscale loss
 

Last week I went to the mall to see if there were any swimsuits in cup sizes just to see how they would look. I was at Lord and Taylor. A sales associate asked if I needed help and I said "Yes, I'm trying to see if you have any suits with larger cup sizes - like for DD cups and bigger". She says yes, they have some on this rack (a few D cup suits that look more like B cups) and says, "And we also have a few cup size suits in the women's section." I ask, "Are those plus size suits." And she said, "Yes.".

Talk about going from feeling "Maybe I can wear a nice suit this year" to "She thinks I still need plus sizes, so I must look so big!" fast!!! Of course, I then take note that she's about 20 years old, no more than 5'1" tall and SUPER tiny build - probably wears a size 0 or smaller. I probably DO look plus sized to her.

Ah, perspective!!!! I'm between a size 8 and 10. A 1X swimsuit will fall off me! But to her - an 8-10 is huge too.

Maybe she didn't assume you were looking for yourself???

I think very young girls/ladies think "normal" women's sizes are huge because many of them can wear those tiny junior's clothes. My coworker has a daughter that is the younger version of her. However, mom clearly wears a much bigger size than her tiny little teenage daughter, and you can see the difference in the mature development of a woman as she fills out. My coworker is very fit, and yet her daughter next to her is unbelievably small! Once again, just a perspective thing. Those teeny little ones will figure it out when everything develops!

An ignorant clerk does not a non-scale loss make.

re:
 

now now, you asked her where the cup suits are and she told you where - here and over there. She didn't bring up plus size until you asked...

Perspective is everything! I know that my own mental image of ME doesnt change much, everyone around me just shrinks or grows.

As an aside: The only place I have ever found cup size swimming suits that ACTUALLY fit and support my size is unfortunately Athleta. I say that because the suits are pricey but I was actually able to find a 32-34DD suit that was really truly 32-34DD. Also since tankinis are sold separately, I could get the bottoms that fit because most suits that fit a 32DD are HUGE through the hips on me. I am NOT proportional!!! You can usually choose between matching boy shorts, full coverage bottom or bikini (heh...no thanks, no way, not ever!) that match the top and the tankini tops are long enough to meet up with the bottoms.

Ouch. I know it's difficult for someone who has never been overweight to understand, but when you are clearly not a plus-sized person such comments sting a bit. I guess her thinking really isn't a surprise because her thought process seems to follow the thoughts of many clothing designers. Big chest = large size over all, small chest = small overall size (this is coming from a very flat chested overweight person). Maybe someday they will both realize the errors in their logic.

One can only pray. Someday maybe I could find a button down shirt? Please?

But I do agree with Vex, she didnt direct you to plus size, you asked if there were plus suits in the womens dept. It doesnt follow that ALL the suits in the womens dept are plus size -

Did you happen to notice if there were any suits in about a size10 or 12 in "flat?" those are hard to find, too. Small bust does not mean small person! I guess we just have to laugh or we'd all just cry.

BBB - you've come way too far to give any credit to her comment. good luck with your quest for a swim suit. I'm sure you'll look fantastic!

Lin

Maybe she meant because you have big ones that a plus size would fit the girls better than the regular size one?(like you said the D's looked like B's)

I once went into Blame Betty and I bought my zombie dress which was a L and when I went to try on this monster dress the XXL didn't even fit me! That was insulting! Even at my heaviest I wasn't XXL, I was XL. blah! lol

OK this is true. My mind went immediately "there" as I guess I'm still not immune to feeling super big.

But then on the other hand, who would be looking for a suit for someone else? Though again, it could be my daughter (if I had one) and I might be looking for cup sizes for her and when I found some (if I found some) I could swing her by to check them out.

OK, tis true, but my mind still says she was thinking the opposite.

Tis true - swimsuits are for the not flat and the not busty. Why????

And you are right... and it caught me off guard too! (And I did find one online. Hopefully it will be great!)

I was looking at Athleta, but ended up ordering a Fantasie suit. I'm larger than a DD in most bras. (I say most because sometimes I can fit a DD, but usually a DDD or G). It should arrive in a few days!

i don't think it was the clerk as much as it was the store. i'm a mere b cup, so i don't share your struggle..but i know girls who have big busts and unfortunately for most clothing stores: big bust = big person. so when you asked about larger cup size, she directed you to the only larger cup sizes they had: plus size.

just a thought! i saw your other thread on swimsuits and i would definitely not rank you as "plus size".

This is why I order suits online. Needing a medium with an I cup is hard to find in stores, but a 1X with DD cups isn't right at all!

Good on you! Let us know how awesome you look when it arrives :)

Land's End has supportive suits for more well-endowed ladies too. My sister swears by them (she's a 34 DDD, I think?) and while I'm only a DD, I've had good luck with their suits as well.

Putting myself in her shoes, I would have answered those questions the same way. It's not my place as a salesperson to say stuff like "Oh but you're not plus sized!" etc to a customer. I would just feel uncomfortable and unprofessional saying that (maybe this is just me?)

Anyways! A size 8-10 is certainly not plus sized and you should be proud of that!!

What I wouldn't give to be a size 8 or 10...

You'll get there. I used to wear a tight 20 and if you would have told me I would some day wear an 8 I would have laughed in your face (and part of that was because I was blissfully unaware of all the vanity sizing going on). I also have a size 16 skirt from 1994 from LLBEan which fits like their current size 10s.

I think I might have said the same thing if someone specifically asked for DD's and the cupped ones in misses were smaller than that--even if I didn't think they looked like they belonged in plusses. I would feel bad if I DIDN'T mention them.

But saying someone looks too small to be in the plus size area is a compliment.

I just think it we the way it was said, but then that could be me reading into it too much too.

I wish I still had my size 14 jeans from 1996 (the smallest jeans I ever owned as an adult). I was about 220 pounds then, so it makes me wonder what size I'll be at once I lose about 30-40 more pounds! :dizzy:

220 in a size 14? you are small and compact! In 1997 I lost a bunch of weight I could fit into a size 14 at 190 pounds. This go around at 190 I was in a 12.

This time around (the only other time I've lost weight) I wore a tight 16 or loose 18 at 220.

You tall ladies! Even at 170 I'm still a size 14, sometimes 16. I agree you're very compact if that was your size, Ella. You'll get there again :)

I've always felt confused when reading about people's heights, weights, and sizes on here. Maybe it's because I'm a tall apple and most of my weight is in my stomach? I have no hips and I have no butt, and my legs seem pretty scrawny for my weight. :lol: I've never gotten below 220 and barely remember what it was like. I do remember that pair of 14 jeans when I was 19, and that I was able to wear L t-shirts (as opposed to my usual XXL) when I'd gotten down around 220 again about twelve years ago.

I'm a 22/24 between the weights of 240-285 or so, but it seems to go downhill rapidly as I get below that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and try to squeeze in the sides of my stomach, and can't believe how small my hips look in comparison. I wonder what kind of shape I'm going to end up with when I'm smaller. :dizzy:

Thanks! :hug: Working so hard on that right now (as we all are)! :D If you don't mind me asking, what size were you at your highest weight? It's so cool to be able to see how far you've come, you've done such a great job. :) I'm not even sure in my case, as I eventually discovered the stores didn't go high enough outside of stretch pants! :o I still got by with 2X and 3X shirts by stretching them out, although I hated how they looked around my stomach.

Funny how I'm still in 2X shirts when I'm 100 pounds lighter. :lol:

She may just be used to taking non-20-year-olds to the plus size section out of habit.

When I was 13 I had to wear DD's and though I weight all of 120lbs I still had to get plus sized suits because of the cups. They don't make swimsuits with tops to cover anyone with a hint of a bust. I'm sure she didn't mean that you need a plus sized suit for anything other than your ample cleavage. I'm now a G and no matter how skinny I get, I will always have to wear a plus sized suit or have one custom made so it fits. I know how hurtful and detrimental to your mental health something like this can be (imagine the same thing only being 13!). I still wear the same suit from 8 years ago because I haven't wanted to shop (and though i've gained 60lbs the swimsuit I had to wear back then because of my boobs finally fits everywhere else). I wish you luck on your search! :hug: And don't let skinny little people get you down!

What a bummer. I had something similar happen to me. I used to be an inventory auditor, and I was in a plus size store doing inventory. It was after my huge weight loss, and I was gaining again. We were talking about something or other (clothes, styles, or something), and the store manager suggested that I come back to her store to shop and try on some clothes . I was just appalled that she'd think I'd be able to wear any of her sizes! But the reality was, even if I wasn't quite in plus sizes yet, I was fast approaching their smallest size.

What's really sad, it wasn't the slap-in-the-face-wake-up-call, and I proceeded to gain until I was shopping the plus sizes!! UGH! Then I finally started losing again.

That's a real sucky non-scale-defeat (NSD)! You walk in to a store feeling good and some young-noodle-child has you leaving feeling fat! Not good!

As long as you don't let it really defeat you!! Keep working hard, and don't dive in to comfort food!

I'm 171 (again) and fit pretty solidly in a 12. I still have some smallish 14s I can wear. I'm 5'4.5" or 5'5"