where to start.
 

I am terrified at this moment because its the first of April and I have no clue where to start. I want and need to lose weight, I am 5feet and like 3 inches tall with a medium to heavy build, and I weigh at this moment around 375lbs. I've been big all my life, as far back as I can remember. I have tried diet after diet but because I have never had any motivations or I start to fail; I automatically set myself up to fail, i suppose. Now, I have motivations but do not know where to start. What should I do first? Im so lost because I have to lose as much of this extra weight as possible before my wedding. I have a dress picked out but Im terrified that if i cannot lose any weight that I will have to change the dress, and i wouldn't look good in any. my other motivation is my six year old son, I have promised that I would be able to ride a bike by the end of the summer, and I do not want to break my promise to him..

I need all opinions, good or bad. Where should I start, how do I start? I am so lost and confused that I deep down feel like a failure and there isn't anything that I can do...I know this sounds childish and silly but please help.

Hi and welcome! :)

You've taken the first step coming here. Be active around the forums, ask questions, read through the threads, take a look at the 'Goal' section and check in every day. It'll help you stay accountable.

It's difficult to offer advice about exercise and food because we don't know what you eat or how active you are. If you're not very active, start small for the first week. Take a ten minute walk every day; build up to fifteen, then twenty, then half-an-hour. Don't try and change everything at once. If you're already quite active, switch your routine up - add a little extra time to your regular walk, or if most of your exercise comes from work/housework, add some extra activity if you can fit it in.

As for food, it's always helpful to drastically cut your sugar, fat and salt, start eating more lean protein (chicken breasts, heart-smart steaks), "good" fats (olive oil, un-hydrogenated vegetable oils), whole-grain products rather than refined (multi-grain bread instead of white; brown rice instead of white, etc), and lots of fruit and vegetables and healthy snacks. And guzzle lots of water!

I know that's really over-simplifying it, but making those sorts of changes works for me. Hopefully others will be able to give you some better advice, though!

All the best and good luck reaching your goals. :hug:

Welcome, PC! :)

Have to agree with everything Amy said. Start small - you've already taken the first step on your journey. Set yourself small goals and aim to reach them. Remember that you're in it for the long haul and you can't change everything overnight any more than you'll see big changes overnight. If you need to, check in with your doctor before starting any dietary changes, especially if you have anything like diabetes.

Keep checking in here too, especially if you're unsure, disheartened or want to celebrate little victories - it's a very helpful forum. Best of luck! :)

hi phatchikaz,

welcome to the forum and congrats on the upcoming wedding! :D
It sounds like you made a really big step on coming here and deciding to make a change, so good for you.

It's different getting advice from some one that only has 40lbs to lose when you have a ways longer to go I think, but I still want to give a few tips. You just see what you do with them or not!

- start super small, so you don't feel like you have to change everything about your life, in the end it might come down tot hat but it goes so gradually you won't notice.
- do you drink soda's? that is really the easiest thing to stop/change up, so maybe drink water with a bit of lemonsqueeze. I bet if you did that for a week you'd already lose weight!
- read about food... i thought I knew what was healthy food and what wasn't but I found out a made a few bad mistakes about stuff I ate that I thought could really not be that calorie-dense.
- if you are comfortable with it, go to the section on these boards for people with 100lbs to lose, they are SO inspiring and they really know how daunting it can be to start such a journey
- look at the goal-photo's and stories, it will make you realise where you can be in a year, or 2 or 3.

I wish you the best best best of luck and hope you will visit with us more. These boards are the best thing ever on staying motivated and helping you make new choices!

Welcome to 3FC!
Congratulations on joining us in the challenge to change our lives.

I have two pieces of advice that I would like to share.

1- Choose a program for life, something that becomes a natural way for you to live. Starting with the small steps that everyone has mentioned is very good, if that works for you, because this is a marathon, not a sprint.

2- Try not to set goals that are unrealistic or that you don't have any control over. For instance, even if you stay on a plan perfectly, you can't always control the amount of weight you lose. Your body is going to make many of those decisions for you. Your goals should focus on staying on a plan and perhaps moving around a little more. As your health improves, you will be able to do more.

I know these two pieces of advice may not guarantee that you get on that bike by the end of the summer or get you in the dress you want (of course, there's a great chance that those two things will happen for you), but it is essential for you and your son and your future husband that you be in this for the long haul.

You can do it!!!!!!
Welcome again!

Also, figure out how many calories you expect to burn a day (Google BMR calculator and follow the instructions). Create a diet plan that has you eating less calories than that number.

Generally good things to eat:
Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, healthy fats

Generally bad things (cut them out completely, at least to start if you can):
Eating out, processed or refined foods, sugars.

Be more physically active, even if you start off light.

I would listen to this advice. Look at that success!!!!!!!!!!!!

With as much weight as you have to lose I would assume you're dealing with some psychological issues that have to do with your eating.

A friend of mine has a blog. Maybe reading it will help you.

I feel your confusion and pain, but you're here and it's an awesome place to be! The fact that you finally have motivation is the key! And you do have the power within yourself to do this!!!

Diet - Examine what you eat in a typical day. Go to one of the online calorie counting websites and punch it in. You're probably in for a rude awakening. I'm with shapedself. Work towards creating a calorie deficit.

Surf the web to find meal ideas that are low-cal. Find a water intake calculator and learn how much water you should drink a day. Sleep 6-8 hours a night. Stay regular. Read books on diet/nutrition etc.

Exercise - Seven months ago at 386 lbs, I couldn't walk longer for 5 minutes without huffing and puffing and that's exactly where I started. Then the next day, I walked 7 minutes, then the next day 10 minutes...until I got up to 30 minutes, 2 weeks later. Do NOT beat yourself up over what you can't do. Instead praise yourself because of the progress you have made.

I know you're freaking out over your wedding deadline. I don't know what your timeframe is or what weight you want to be at for your wedding. But just to let you know - I lost 48 lbs in 4 months and was eating 2100 calories a day. Hardly painful.

So what is your timeframe and how much do you feel you need to lose?

well I knew it wasn't going to be easy at first and it might not be easy through out the whole thing. I don't really have a time frame at this moment and I just want to lose as much weight as I can, ive researched the best weight for my age, height and build and it tells me between 125 and 135 so I would love to be around 160 if i could, i mean even if i cannot be a size 8 or something i just want to be able to go into any store and pick something that isnt plus size and be comfortable.

That sounds like a reasonable goal. Lots of people around here also set mini-goals like to 10-15 pounds or percentages lost, that kind of thing....What is most important is a liveable plan and working that plan day in and day out to get those results. It may take a while but you will feel success a long time before you get to your ultimate goal. And don't worry if everything doesn't go great all of the time, as long as you're consistently eating less calories than you burn most of the time, the weight will have no choice but to drop off. Exercise is really important too, it tones the body and revvs up the metabolism. It really helps speed things along for me.

You'll find a lot of info here. I know it's hard to get started but it's totally doable. One day you'll look back from your bike and be amazed at your progress!

Oh and by the way....:wel3fc:

patachickaz - one reason weight loss efforts fail is that the goal is "weight loss".

if you hit a plateau or a temporary gain, the immediate reaction is "this isn't working" and then backsliding happens and it all goes to pot.

instead of focussing on losing weight, make the goal to adopt a lifestyle that will result in a healthier size.

first off, check in with your dr - make sure you don't have any underlying issues such as thyroid, PCOS, insulin resistance, etc, that is contributing to your weight issues and making it hard to figure out an effective strategy.

second, figure out your strategy. you can do it by reviewing what worked for you in the past and what didn't or you can check in with a dietitan or your family doctor on that. there's no one magic bullet - what works for me won't work for that guy over there and what didn't work for him worked wonders for his cousin.

third, ask yourself what 7 habits of highly healthy ppl you can adopt. every two weeks, adopt one.

healthy people:

don't smoke
don't drink to excess
don't eat deep-fried foods
don't eat highly processed foods
eat lots of fruits and veg
eat lots of whole grains
dont' sit around on the couch all day
don't wait for things to start happening - they MAKE them happen
don't eat massive portions
don't eat more than they need
don't eat if they're not hungry
don't eat if they're emotionally unstable


and so on, and so forth. adapt for your personal situation.

if you focus on living a healthy lifestyle, then the weight will come off - personally, i'd strongly recommend not even weighing yourself; just use a tape measure.