Coping with skinny friends...*sigh*
 

So my best friend weighs 113 now. She apparent gained 3 pounds in 2 months and is freaking out about it. Now, don't get me wrong. I love her, but I can gain 3 pounds in 3 days. I know being around slimmer people are supposed to inspire you..but it just frustrates me because most of my close friends are skinny.

Sometimes you just have to remember that people of all sizes have issues with their own body, and something that bothers you with your body can be a bigger or lesser issue with another person who has the same issue. Or, people who would seem to have LESS body issues than you because they're smaller, more athletic, look better in clothes, etc etc actually have more.

Even if you feel like her issue is miniscule compared to your own, you should still be sensitive to it and maybe use it as an excuse to get someone to join you at the gym. Tell her it's not a big deal and she shouldn't worry about it, but if she wants, she can come work out with you so she could lose those 3 extra pounds and get more fit. I wouldn't let her body issues bother you -- I know it's frustrating to hear when our smaller counterparts complain about their bodies, but you have to remember they're human just like we are, and have insecurities just like we do. Treat them as you would treat anyone else with the same issue. :)

I can completely understand. My friend used to be a size 6 and would always make unthinking comments about how fat a size 10 would be (knowing I was a size 11/13 but she didn't think about that when making the comments). One day we were bathing suit shopping and I held up a tankini top, and she said "What, I'm not some fat girl. Why would I wear that?"... even tho we just bought me one!. She didn't do it on purpose or anything, but it is frustrating dealing with people far smaller then you sometimes.

But then, I have to remember that people bigger then me must get frustrated with remarks I make, just like women who are 350 pounds might be annoyed with some of the remarks a 250 person makes.

Yup. It can be hard.

Just remember tho... What is a big deal to her may not a big deal to you. What is a big deal to you may not be a big deal to her.

Everyone feels what they feel when they feel it. Everyone needs to have some respect about that.

So just be supportive and listen as a friend even if her particular THING isn't something that applies in your own case.

A.

I totally get it. My friends are skinny and they CAN EAT too. Which makes it that much more unfair. We'll go out for dinner and they will have multiple cocktails and more food than me but then their bodies are ROCKING. It's unfair :(

Originally Posted by Candeka:
But then, I have to remember that people bigger then me must get frustrated with remarks I make, just like women who are 350 pounds might be annoyed with some of the remarks a 250 person makes.

I have to remind myself about this all the time, and it actually frustrates me. My roommate is a 300lb girl, and I've lost at least 50lbs since me and her met, which to her, makes me "not a fat*** anymore". So anytime I make comments about my successes in my weight loss, she acts like I'm rubbing it in her face that I'm smaller than her, when I'm really not. I'm just celebrating new findings in my body that I've never had before because I was never small enough to have them. She even got pissed when I came home excited that I could fit into a size 14/16 dress (something I've never been able to do): her immediate reaction was, "Why do you have to brag?" It makes me feel bad cause I feel like she's not supporting me, but then I remember that my successes are things that she could do before she gained weight, so they're really not that big of a deal to her, I guess. And the same kind of thinking goes with anyone else; we're always going to be jealous and frustrated with the girl that's smaller than us -- we just have to put it behind us and be concerned with our own lives and not theirs!

When I was at my highest weight, my best friend came in all crazy and she said : "Omg!!! I'm now in the three-digits !! How funny!!"

We were all like... yeah fvck you lol.

I also have this 4"10 friend that weight 82 pounds bwahaha.

I totally get where your coming from. Before I gained this weight, I would always complain about how fat I was. I would love to go back in time and slap my former self for thinking 130lbs was fat!!! My family and friends also have the habit of commenting on how fat random strangers are when these strangers are the same size or close to me. It's really frustrating, I'm like "um I am the same size" And of course they always say, "Oh no your not fat blah blah" Then it makes you feel so insecure and think how they really see you.

I sort of have the opposite problem. My boyfriend keeps trying to act like I'm a "skinny" person. He keeps wanting to buy me bikini tops and short shorts and I keep trying to tell him that I'm not that comfortable yet. I know he thinks I'm sexy and he tells me constantly, but it's hard when he feels like he can't show me off to other people.

We went to Grand Cayman last December and he didn't understand why I didn't feel comfortable walking around in a bikini when I can hardly wear a tank top and not feel uncomfortable. Little did I know that in the Cayman Island, fat women are sexy women. I got more compliments from the natives than did my size 4 friend who came with us. Haha

Originally Posted by Magalo:
When I was at my highest weight, my best friend came in all crazy and she said : "Omg!!! I'm now in the three-digits !! How funny!!"

We were all like... yeah fvck you lol.

I also have this 4"10 friend that weight 82 pounds bwahaha.

I'm 4'11" ... And 82 pounds seems a little low for that height. I'm aiming for 115. (I love curves on a woman! healthy curves!) But you have to remember it's incredibly hard for short women, especially REALLY short women like myself to stay fit, our total calories have to be lower and yet we still have to work out just as hard. So don't let her skinny self discourage you! There are short girls out there who aren't naturally skinny like that!

Originally Posted by playfulturtle:
I sort of have the opposite problem. My boyfriend keeps trying to act like I'm a "skinny" person. He keeps wanting to buy me bikini tops and short shorts and I keep trying to tell him that I'm not that comfortable yet. I know he thinks I'm sexy and he tells me constantly, but it's hard when he feels like he can't show me off to other people.

We went to Grand Cayman last December and he didn't understand why I didn't feel comfortable walking around in a bikini when I can hardly wear a tank top and not feel uncomfortable. Little did I know that in the Cayman Island, fat women are sexy women. I got more compliments from the natives than did my size 4 friend who came with us. Haha

LOL! Your post sounds like my life!! My fiance has no idea how uncomfortable I am with my body. Of course I wear shorts etc around him, but never in public. I'll make a comment like, "I could never pull that off" ( talking like a mini dress) or "I can't eat that! I can't afford to!" and it's like he has blinders on or rose colored glasses. The other night I literally sat him down and had to explain that I am genuinely overweight and unhealthy and that we had to start making changes in our lives, especially mine. And he admitted to me that he didn't realize how uncomfortable I was with myself! :) I can't wait to go grocery shopping with him this weekend, he's been so supportive this week!

I typically ignore people who "freak out" about stuff like that. At best they just want attention and compliments and at worst they are being down right rude and selfish. If a person at a healthy weight starts talking about how "fat" they are, I usually apply the same technique. The bottom line is people (fat, thin, or in between) don't think before they open their mouths.