Self Sabotage..?
 

After years of getting to this point more times than I want to admit.. I had to stop and wonder. Am I self sabotaging? Anyone that has seen the Biggest Loser knows what I mean.. That one fear or expectation or whatever that subconsciously stops you in your tracks. That stops you from reaching your goals. The trainers seem great at making people not only realize what their big fear is, but also overcoming it. you can be doing great, losing consistently, feeling great.. And then, like an invisible wall *SMACK*

I'm pretty sure I know what mine is. I'd barely admit this to my best friends, but here it's easier. The sad fact is, I've been really overweight (like, obese most of the time) my whole life. Guys have never paid any attention to me. It's always hurt a lot, but I've always acted like I didn't care. It's easier that way. The truth is, my greatest hope for losing weight is that guys will start to show an interest. I know that's not supposed to be my reason, but it is. Yes I've loved getting to wear clothes I couldn't have before. But how can a guy (ANY guy!) liking me not be a legitimate reason? Isn't companionship what we all need? It's human nature. I get that we shouldn't want the guy who will only like a skinny girl, but people need to be attracted to someone. I get it. I don't even blame guys for that.

I think my invisible wall is the fear that even if I lost all the weight I want to, I still won't get the attention I wish I had. I know this sounds like the worst reason, but it's hard to describe unless you've been in this position..

So, long story short.. Anyone else have an "invisible wall?" That fear that always stops you from achieving that last hurdle to your goal? What are your reasons for self sabotage?

<<I think my invisible wall is the fear that even if I lost all the weight I want to, I still won't get the attention I wish I had.>>

Wow, this shows a lot of insight (and strikes me as bang-on). Now that you know what you're up against, you can neutralize the fear by analyzing it.

So maybe you won't get instantaneous attention when you're thin -- but you'll be in an undeniably better position to attract potential partners, if that's what you want. You may still have to work on other barriers or change your behaviors so you meet more people, or whatever, but the fact is that you'll have made PROGRESS toward your goal. That's all you can expect of yourself.

Freelance

Thanks! You're absolutely right. Plus, I know my terrible self esteem doesn't help attract anyone. Losing it all would definitely help my confidence level

It's so good to hear that I am not alone in my fears! I honestly am so scared that I'm gonna lose a whole bunch of weight and absolutely nothing will change except the ability to wear a smaller clothing size. Like I'm doing this for myself, of course, but it also seems like I'm doing it just to see how others will react to me not being fat anymore. It's unknown territory -- I have no idea what it's like to not be obese. It's kind of scary.

It's absolutely scary! It's downright terrifying!! Like you said, it's unknown territory and that alone can scare anyone. Sorry you feel that way, but admit I'm relieved I'm not alone in my fear. I thought a ton of people would jump on me saying I'm doing it for the wrong reasons or I need therapy haha. Nice to know I'm not alone.. I will however admit that with the amount I have lost, I have noticed some difference in the way guys interact with me. Not nearly where I want it, but it has changed.. Enough to give me hope. Now I need to let go of that and just do it already! The only way to conquer a fear is to face it..

We can do this!! :hug: