There isn't really an emotional attachment to it. I think the reason why I did eat more than I should have was because I've been SOOO self-conscious about what I ate. When I had go to the Chinese buffet, I did have a work out. The following day, my friend came over and we ate more stuff we shouldn't have. But I burned about 340 calories playing Just Dance 3 with her. Yesterday, I twisted my ankle (I've managed to walk it off some, so I'm gonna do some light walking) and my friend took me to CiCi's pizza. I started out with a water and some salad. I got some pizza, then another slice, and then some more. I didn't get large slices or anything, and I got some cinnamon buns. I didn't eat till I exploded. I do know how to stop. But I didn't do any exercise aside from trying to walk off my ankle at the mall. Like I said, the reason I probably ate more is because of how calorie focused I have been. I'm trying to loose about 30-40 pounds by late July so I have to count. But I splurged one day and did no exercise. So...yeah.

<<Everyone is different and everyone needs different kinds of help. I'm here to offer the "lets figure it out" approach instead of fluffy puppy approach.>>

I suppose that's true. I, for one, respond MUCH better to encouragement than to admonition. I've always been this way. Even if I know something I did is not OK, having someone else tell me it IS OK somehow helps me get through it.

I'm the same way in my work. I've been a successful freelance writer for 18 years and have accumulated a binderful of accolades from editors, but an editor's critical words can still throw me into a funk for several days. If said editor leavens her criticism with praise about another aspect of my work, I'm MUCH more receptive to the negative feedback.

Freelance

This is me, too! I notice on teacher evaluations, I will get 95% or more positive feedback, but I tend to ruminate on the 3-5% negative comments and sometimes let them discourage me.

That said, I think it's good to have a different perspective here. If the one, majority approach doesn't work, maybe that other perspective (e.g., Lori's "tough love" approach) will.

re:
 

Trust me, I'm not a puppy fluffy approach type of person either. (maybe that's a nebraska thing hehe).

There's nothing wrong with you as a person. There's just something wrong with your ability to control what you eat - the same problem we all have here obviously.

I don't think there HAS to be an emotional connection, but what needs to happen after things like that - if you're unhappy about it - is to figure out why that happened and prevent it from happening again.

Your two months isn't gone and don't let this stop you. Your goal just got pushed a couple days further back is all. You can't change what you DID but you can change what you WILL DO.

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According to the OP's profile info, she is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. She is not an adult, she is still, basically, in many ways, a child. She's decided to make a change, obviously, or she wouldn't be here -- but you can't expect a teenager to analyze things the way an adult might. And you certainly shouldn't expect a teenager to play psychoanalyst on herself to try and figure out some kind of *~deeper meaning~* to why the "binge" happened. You know, sometimes there's no meaning at all; it just happened. And when you're 17 and still (I assume, anyway) living with your parents, you don't always HAVE control of where you go to eat, or what's purchased in terms of food.

I understand that you just wanted to throw a "different perspective" into the discussion, but you know, sometimes it's not so much WHAT you say as how you say it that makes a difference. The "fluffy puppy" approach, as you so charmingly termed it, is the way some of us choose to respond to someone who is quite young and obviously having a difficult time dealing with what she feels is a setback. We're trying to be sensitive to her, because....well, why not? There really IS no need to beat herself up over this.

I LOVE THIS. OP, this is a great way to look at what's happened. Focus on what's ahead, not what's behind, and you'll get where you're going!

I also thought that Lori Bell's response was harsh, which itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but it wasn't really helpfully harsh. Telling someone "come on, get this under control" and "You gotta get out of this funk, or you will gain back all the weight" when they've stumbled and "hate" themselves doesn't really do much except reinforce their negative feelings.

I don't think trying to help someone pick themselves up and dust off in a kind way is making it seem like a) obesity is okay, or b) it's okay to gorge themselves. I think she knows pretty clearly what happened is not okay and will not get her to her goals. She wouldn't be here if she were completely deluded. However, the key at this stage is not to give up. And someone telling me if you don't figure it out right now, you're going to gain it all back ASAP wouldn't really help me, so I can't imagine it'd help her.

There's certainly a time and place for more hard-edged encouragement, and even if you think that circumstance is now (I disagree), being kind doesn't mean anyone doesn't realize obesity is serious. It's rather insulting to suggest so simply because people choose to provide advice and encouragement in a way that's different from yours.

OP: I think you've gotten a lot of good advice and encouragement here. Two days cannot undo a month of work. The only way to truly fail is to give up - ask anyone here that's been successful - they've pushed through the bad days and got right back on plan after mishaps. Good luck.

Best advice I can give is this. Go get your hair done even if it's a trim (This always makes me feel better) and forget today. Start again tomorrow like today never happened. Then keep on plugging away. Don't beat yourself up over it. Whatever you do don't quit. Quitting is a failure. A set back like today isn't a failure it's a detour in your journey. Everyone does it. I'm sure the one's that lost over 100 lbs have had a few detours of their own. Hugs from me to you

Not to nitpick but I don't think you are giving young people enough credit. I remember being 17 - I was just there 6 years ago :lol: - and I spent a good chunk of my time not only analyzing my own emotions and motivations but that of those around me. I was curious, confused, frustrated, etc. so I wouldn't go saying that a 17 year old can't figure out why she binged. She's young, not mindless. ;)

Having said that, OP you are doing great, these days happen sometimes. I agree with Lori in the sense that knowing why you did it is important. Even if it wasn't an emotional reaction, it's good to know what can trigger you. For example, I know I can go shopping and not screw up...but as soon as the food enters my home it's basically game over.

I decided to get Cheez-Its last week thinking I'd be able to manage but that was a big mistake. One serving turned into two and then three and then...yeah, I threw the rest of that box out, that was not a smart idea. :D It happens sometimes!

Don't let it get to you. You may have messed up today, but tomorrow you can start anew.

I never said she was "mindless"...what a thing to say. I said she's young. And expecting her to react to this "setback" the same way someone might if they've been doing this for a while is completely unfair, not to mention silly. Sometimes there are no deep, dark hidden reasons why "binges" happen. Sometimes they just do, and I don't think that telling her "Oh, there HAS to be something else going on for you to do this" is necessarily a good way to support her.

You are really taking things too literally here...

I'm telling you, as someone who is young myself, that you should simply have a little more faith in her. That is all.

...I *do* have faith in her. That is the whole point. I have faith that she can overcome this small "setback" without having to try and dig around to find some deeper psychological reason for the setback that might not even be there to find in the first place.

I work with teenagers, and I know that with a lot of them, especially when they're having a tough time, need someone to be understanding and sensitive to what they're feeling. Some of them, mind you, can take the "shape up and fly right, or else" method...but let me tell you, in my experience, sensitivity will get you a LOT farther than tough love. It all depends.

I'm not that decrepit myself, you know. It might not have been yesterday that I was 17, but it wasn't decades ago, either. I still remember what it was like to be an overweight teenager struggling to change. And I simply think that being sensitive to the fact that she already obviously felt bad about herself after having eaten something she feels she shouldn't have might be a good approach. It's not for everyone, but then, neither is the "shape up or suffer the consequences" approach.

Okay, you still aren't really getting my angle here. You are still referencing exactly what Lori said but I haven't mentioned whether or not I think her method* was helpful once in any of my posts. I merely said that knowing why it happened - emotional or otherwise - is helpful and that at 17, she's intelligent enough to be able to figure it out. If you are seriously going to argue over that, I have nothing more to say to you at this point.

Also, you are twisting my words left and right. When I said have faith in her, I meant have faith in her ability to analyze herself, not her ability to overcome this obstacle. The way you spin it sounds good for you, bad for me, but that's not what I meant.


* Pertaining to her tone and harshness; I don't agree that it was necessarily the right way to go but I know it works for some. I also don't agree that it's always emotional which is why I have repeatedly said emotional or otherwise. It's also why I gave the example that I did - I overate on Cheez-Its because I wanted to. I like them, I almost always eat too many, so therefore I now know not to buy them ever again because clearly I can't have just one handful. =/


*** Sorry for the snippiness at the end though, I'm just getting frustrated that my point is being missed and is getting caught up in all this bull. I don't think anyone here should seriously try to argue against the OP's ability to handle herself and I don't think you are but by arguing with me repeatedly that is kind of what you are doing as that was my main point in all this - she's young but capable, give her some credit and concede that knowing why she does what she does is a good thing. If she knows she did it because she was upset, she can handle it. If she knows she did it because it's food she overeats on because she loves it, she knows she should probably try to avoid it if possible (I know she still lives with her family thus the "if possible"). Again, the Cheez-it example...I can't have one handful, it's the worst thing in the world for me so I just can't buy them anymore until and unless I can stop after one serving. Knowing this is helpful just like knowing that I used to be an emotional eater made all the difference in my life as soon as I realized it.

I'm just home from work and, to be honest, I don't have the patience to write a long response here, so I'm simply going to say this: I do believe that the OP is perfectly capable of "analyzing" herself and her motivations (hence the post in which she specifically stated that there's no emotional attachment to her "binge").

I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling really frustrated by the lack of support I see around here sometimes. I'm sorry I dragged you into it, though, because I do see your point, even if you don't think I do. There are obviously different approaches to something like this, but I guess I just cannot bring myself to respond to someone who posts on a forum like this with anything less than the utmost sensitivity, because you never know how someone will respond to harsh criticism (or any criticism at all, for that matter.)

In any case, I don't think you and I need to be sniping back and forth at each other, because I think at the root of it all we're in agreement anyway.