thanks for sharing your story sontaikle and wow congratulations on your amazing progress... you're an inspiration for me because I started at 205 lbs, thank you :)

The more I think about it the more I feel bad for feeling that my husband isn't being supportive... I think that my feelings may be coming more from my own negative thinking etc...

At 5'6 and 230lbs, I was in a world of trouble healthwise. My husband is 6'0 and at one point weighed around 220-225. He went into work one day and a client he hadn't seen in awhile made an off-hand comment about him "getting big" - he came home THAT NIGHT and started running. This was fall of 2009 and he turned his life around - ate much less and much healthier, would go out for hour-long runs 4-5x per week and dropped down to 175 lbs.

I wanted to lose weight...desperately...but I wasn't ready. It bothered him, he made some hurtful comments (not malicious at all, just thoughtless). He tried to be supportive, but I was too sensitive and, well, jealous of him...so I took it all wrong and just got resentful.

I told him one day that the best way for him to support me was to just do what he is doing - to lead by example. No more offhand comments, no more trying to force motivation on me, etc. - just live his life. It had to have been tough on him. I wasn't eating so horribly anymore because he wasn't and I dropped a couple pounds, but it couldn't have been easy training for half & full marathons while I sat on the couch - but he did it.

At the beginning of 2011, it all fell into place for me and I got motivated. But it came from me, not him. He helped by living a healthy life and not quitting - I found myself wanting to be part of the "fit club" that he was in, I wanted to enjoy our vacations, I wanted to go out, I wanted to wear cute clothes and I wanted to be healthy and live a long time with him.

I guess what I'm trying to say, as someone who has been on your husband's end of the couch is that in the end, I did it for myself and the only thing he "did" to help me reach that decision was to live healthfully for himself. So I think you sticking to your program is all you can do. At least that's how it worked for me...

I haven't read all the responses but this is what I got out of your original post,

It doesn't sound like your husband is all "gung ho" about the working out. But you are so don't let his choices become YOUR choices. You can make your own choices that suits you the best. If you feel that a workout schedule suits your work and life schedule then do it and simply inform him. I wouldn't give him a chance to make the excuse or to deter you from making your own choices. If it totally makes sense to you and it isn't impeading on your personal life then there's no reason why you can't do a workout you want to (like the boot camp)

As for eating right, just make sure you are making good choices and if he hums and ha's about it then tell him he can make his own food, this is how you are choosing to eat now. I would just keep quiet about the whole weight loss thing with him honestly if he finds every opportunity to make an excuse. It seems once he bashes your idea to get fit, you make that your choice too, so just do what you feel is right for you and come here for the support.

It will take time for him to adjust and he might get his back up for a bit, but stick to your truth. It's YOUR body, YOUR health and YOUR life, you can't make him join you that's up to him.

Good luck hun :hug:

I definitely agree with what most people said here. You can't force him to change if he's not ready or motivated enough, but I'm sure that once he sees your progress and how committed you are to being healthy, he'll feel compelled to act and join you. And each time he opposes to something you want to do, just tell him that it's your choice and while you appreciate his concern, it's really important to you that you achieve your goal and you're ready to work hard for it. It's wonderful that you care so much about him and want him to be happy, but there's only so much you can do. Perhaps he doesn't feel comfortable working out with you around (don't know, just a thought, I know my boyfriend doesn't like me to see him when he's vulnerable, always wants to look tough in front of me). You could maybe buy exercising equipment and perhaps he'll use it when you're not around.

good luck and congrats on your weight loss!

Thanks everyone and the backing off does seem to be working... I skipped my run on valentines since I was doing a special dinner that required lots of prep, so went on Wednesday instead, he joined me on the bike and rode around the big block several times, each time he lapped me he would make a silly comment (along the lines of hey hot momma lol) and go off again, then when I was almost finish with my run he held out a bottle of water for me as I slowly jogged past and made a big deal like I had just run a marathon lol... also when I got home I saw lots of printed out information on bicycles and he told me that his bicycle isn't comfortable and he wants to get a better bike so we can ride longer distances... so hopefully things will make a good change :)

Great update, LittleBrownBike! He obviously likes the bike riding. It's always a boost when one can find an activity they actually enjoy. I hope he keeps up with it. :)