I always thought that there were people who were just annoying and could eat what they want and then there were people like me who were prone to gaining weight if they looked at a cookie. Well when I taught myself about portion sizes and nutrition, I realized how wrong that viewpoint was.

I'm engaged to a guy who is "naturally thin" and I just assumed that his bagels at 2am without weight consequences were just his "fast metabolism" that I hoped our children would eventually inherit. Well when you spend a lot of time with a person (as anyone dating, engaged or married knows) you learn a lot about their habits.

My fiance doesn't eat when he's not hungry, even if you place his favorite thing in the world in front of him. He will stop when he's satisfied. He will routinely eat one meal a day, with maybe one snack. That's all he's hungry for. I often plan ahead when I know there's a good dinner coming up by eating light during the day. He does this too but not to maintain his weight but rather "save his appetite."

When it came to my own weight loss and now maintenance, I've tried to emulate his behavior. Granted, we're on two different clocks when it comes to eating (I'm a morning person, he's a night owl) and I prefer most of my meals earlier in the day while he starts his eating later in the day, but for the most part his habits have worked well for me.

I just eat until I'm satisfied now, even if the food is oh so tasty. If I'm not hungry I don't eat, even if someone is passing around something I really enjoy. I've learned that I don't need food. It will be there later if I'm hungry.

I just have to make sure not to eat as much as him. He's a foot taller and probably weighs a good 70 pounds or so more than me...he can eat much more than I can :)

I've found something similar. The friends who are "naturally" thin all are doing something different than I was when I was at my highest. Some of them self-regulate better (eat a big meal but then skip another meal, for example), others are quite active etc. As to why yet others gain, well, again there are a plethora of reasons for that too.

What I do find interesting, though, is that how, as someone who has struggled with self-regulation when it comes to food, I can do it so easily in other areas of my life. Savings is one. I don't have an urge to overspend. Sure, I'd LOVE to go shopping and buy a ton of cool things but I don't, whereas I have friends that simply can't resist the urge and need a super strict budget (like many need here with calorie counting) in order to stay out of debt.

I also want to add that when we're observing the "naturally" thin friend we don't always know their past. Being that I recently moved and am still meeting new people there are definitely people that I have met not too long ago who have never seen me at my highest. For all they know I'm "naturally" thin (ok, maybe more like naturally average ;) but still..). And I'm someone who will go out to a restaurant for pizza and even eat dessert on occasion! What they don't see is the salad that I had for lunch before that or how hard I hit the gym that day or how the next day I eat lighter. None of that comes naturally for me but those are habits that I've tried hard to pick up and maintain. About the only thing that friends have commented on in terms of eating/drinking is that I rarely ever drink alcohol (I don't like the price or the taste that much) but that's something completely independent of my eating habits.

I would've called myself "naturally thin" at one point. It's true that I would regularly eat serving bowls of spaghetti (including garlic bread) at midnight and never gain weight. I could do this night after night. Hubby is the same way.

But as time went on, I realized a few things:

- I DID self regulate. (So does Hubby.) If I ate a huge McDonalds meal (double QP, large fries, large coke) for lunch, it would easily be 6-8 hours before I'd even think about eating again.

- I don't have a sweet tooth. People may say I am the type to take one bite of dessert and push it away, but that's simply because I am just not the sweets type.

- I may have a thyroid problem. Fun. Fun.

I am sure if I ate serving bowls of spaghetti three times a day, I would probably pack on the pounds easily. So I was self-regulating, I guess, I just didn't realize it.

That's been one of the hardest things to do is PORTION! Especially at supper. I have had to start measuring out servings while I cook to make sure I don't cook too much. I have a tendancy to eat more if I see there is more. Or, there is too little to save, or I don't want to save the parts on my plate....so I eat it.

I've gotten a lot better, but still need to think about it. I just need to control my snacking after work as there is far more food at my house than at work. Most of it is healthy food, but you still can eat too much!

I hate how I am always hungry and having to think about eating. I wish I didn't get hungry like some of those folks...or get full and stop eating before I become so full I want to puke!

I agree that the people who can truly eat 3000 calories a day, not work out and maintain a normal BMI are very few and far between. Even close friends that appear to eat a lot and stay smaller almost always have better habits when alone than we do.

I've known some of those "naturally thin" people, who at closer scrutiny, wasn't so "natural".

A friend of mine I've known basically all my life - she has ALWAYS been this tiny, thin creature. She's 5-foot'nuth'n & usually around 105-110 lb. She has two kids; I've never had children. Yet I've battled my weight all my life, and she rarely ever has. Once upon a time during our college years, she got a little "pudgy" - all those pizza runs & partying (i.e. lots of alcohol!!!) caught up with her like it did with the rest of us. But she was able to slim down effortlessly when those "crazy college years" ended.

One thing I have always noticed about her: she ate very slowly. I have always "shoveled it in" - lending credit to the fact that eating slowly means you take in less food, therefore don't eat as much, therefore don't gain weight.

However, it was interesting to see her bounce back from both pregnancies quite quickly. Only now, as we're both nearing 50, she has gained a considerable amount of weight. She isn't "obese" in the medical sense of the word by any means, but she no longer finds it quick nor easy to keep her weight at the desired 110 lb. She's around 135-140 right now, and that is a huge amount of weight to her. She's never weighed this much - EVER. And she's not happy about it! -but she freely admits to eating a LOT of carbs. A lot more than usual... Lots & lots & lots. And she's having trouble trying to stay away from them.

Another "naturally thin" person I know is my brother. At 6'1" and 160 lb most of his adult life... He has eaten cheeseburgers & chocolate most of his life, and never once gained any weight. But he too succumbed to weight gain when he got married & had a wife that cooked big meals for him. In fact, when he reached nearly 200 lb, he felt "fat" (even tho he still looked good, IMHO). When he got divorced, those big meals stopped & he slimmed down again...even tho he still ate cheeseburgers 3 or 4x a week and always enjoyed a Coke and Moonpie as a snack almost daily. :rolleyes:

Now that he's in his early 50's, he's maintaining his weight at around 170. But he has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a couple other health problems that "don't show by looking at him". And you know what? A couple years ago, he was preaching to me and an overweight friend of mine that we just needed to "stop eating so **** much" and the weight would come off. :mad: Of course we both took offense to that! - but you know what? He was right. :^: Creating a calorie deficit - no matter how you do it (diet, exercise, diet & exercise, etc.) is the way to lose weight.

I don't think there are very many people who are "naturally thin" - who can just eat & eat & eat whatever they want whenever they want & not gain weight - I think most people who we consider to be "naturally thin" just don't have the eating problems that us overweight people have. And while I don't categorize everyone together in one lump sum, I do think that most overweight people have an unhealthy relationship with food. Either by binge eating, or stress eating, or sweet-tooth eating, or socialization eating - whatever. "Naturally thin" folks seem to eat when they're hungry, and stop when they're not.

I'm forming a theory from this thread. Sure they may be able to eat what they want. But they don't want to eat as much as we do :lol:

I have thought this for a very long time. There's something disfunctional about the appetites of us fat people. I see my slim friends (in their 30s and 40s) regulate their intake (and exercise regularly), but I also see that it is not so much of a struggle for them as it is for me. I want, want, want and they seem to have an easier time of stopping when they are full or when they think they have had enough.

The reason this discussion is worth having is that it allows us to acknowledge that the problem isn't that slim people have more 'will power' than fat people; it's that our desire for food is greater and thus we need substantially more will power than slim people to maintain a reasonable weight.

Here's an odd side note to this conversation. Someone mentioned this about their brother up above and it reminded me. I watched this show called Freaky Eaters (yeah I watch crap tv). They help people who have a strange eating habit get over it quickly. The had a show about a guy who ate nothing but french fries since he was 2. He was very fit and active. A skateboarder. Had a wife and kids. He just couldn't eat other food. So they took him to a doctor and he basically had the start of heart disease. Terrible cholesterol and blood pressure and other stuff. So even with all of these people who think they can eat whatever they want and never gain weight, it doesn't mean that they're healthy.

Sometimes teenage boys have crazy metabolism.
I knew a few who ate like crazy (probably 3000-3500) calories a day.
Of course they were fairly active boys and they grew about 2 feet during that time. Still it was somewhat amazing and nothing a fully grown, normally active adult can do.

VERY true. About a month ago I weighed 115 pounds... a respectable weight by anyone's standards. Went for bloodwork.

My total cholesterol: 299! (Way too high LDL, way too low HDL. Tris were ok.)

I was also diagnosed as prediabetic again. (I've been prediabetic for a few years now).

Yeah... weight doesn't mean much when it comes to health.

I sooo agree...

Another thing: I don't think it makes much sense to talk about 'naturally thin' teenagers. Adolescent bodies are so busy growing that they are far better able to withstand vast calories! Things really start to change once you hit your 20s.

<<I'm forming a theory from this thread. Sure they may be able to eat what they want. But they don't want to eat as much as we do >>

EXACTLY what I've been thinking.

F.

I've seen both sides of this situation... an entire family of friends of ours are the type that could eat anything and not gain an ounce. We'd have a whole dinner, then a half hour later they'd be grabbing a bag of pretzles to munch on. But these people were all really active - into all kinds of sports and always staying fit. So I wouldn't be surprised if it was their metabolism... even if they eat an entire pizza each (believe me, I've witnessed it).
My mom, on the other hand, can be 'starving' and then be 'full' on one piece of toast with cream cheese. Seriously? It'd take 4 slices for me! (then the carbs would burn off and i'd be hungry again in two hours)
I've also noticed that a lot of the people I see that look thin and fit - and I"m jealous of, assuming they can eat 'anything' they want without it going straight to their hips - don't actually eat ANYTHING they want. A lot of these girls actually do eat healthy salads for lunch, etc. It's not as if they have Micky D's every day.
So, IDK. Depends on the person and their lifestyle. :-P :-D