I like spending time with my bf, but I feel we're stuck and limited on what we can do together; we mainly walk the dogs around the block and go to malls, that's rare, all this because it's winter, 10F, and windy outside. Or maybe it's because we're in our ealry 20's with no money to spend on going to gyms! :-[
The main thing is he's very lean (skinny) 5'11 135, and I'm struggling with my weight. He's different than me in metabolism(high), lifestyle(lounging, tv), food(fast food), and likes alcohol(Oh yes I tried, he won't change), yet we love each other . I'm wondering what would you guys do in this situation? Seems like I'm dragging him into my plans to exercise and eat healthy, and at times I find myself lounging, watching tv... I'm trying to stay positive..
Are there any girls out there with the same situation as me?
my bf is skinny, hes not tall, im taller, but he is skinny. when he wants to go on long walks in the summer he drags me along. i hate it, i hate walking with such a passion you cannot imagine, but he loves me and it makes him happy. i get sunburned so bad too im so uber white. but than i drag his goth butt to the metal clubs. i guess relationships are a trade off, we share in what the other does. my advice is do that but also if he has fastfood to have something different, you dont need to eat what he does nor the other way around, if he wants to drink, you can drink less or tell him you dont want any at all, he wont pressure you to drink. basically you have to share each others lifestyle while having your own too? my bf eats fastfood and big meals and ill have only a portion of the meals and none of the fastfood, if he goes to pick up fastfood he will go and grab me something from the grocer too lol you can lose weight with a person that is of a different lifestyle than you, ive lost almost 70 and my bf sounds like yours cept mines only 5'6
this is what ive done with all my bfs lol they were all pale skinny goth boys sigh :P
Last edited by CherryQuinn; 01-05-2012 at 10:59 PM.
My fiance is 6'3" and was underweight when we started going out. He probably weighed about 60lbs less than me!
Now we're both at healthy weights! And I probably am close to 70lbs lighter than him now.
He's like your boyfriend; he likes to eat junk food, lounge around, etc. So what did I do? NOTHING! I didn't make him change anything because if I wanted to change him I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. I go to the gym on my own and I've been going since before we were even going out. I eat healthy on my own too.
I don't believe in deprivation when it comes to living one's life, so I eat whatever the heck I want. Yes, this includes fast food and pizza, believe it or not. I still lost weight even though I had these things because I planned ahead. I was still able to enjoy a nice, cheap night out with my fiance.
One thing I have noticed is that suddenly my fiance is adopting healthier habits. He wants to eat healthier and exercise now and I believe my success has had something to do with it.
He started to change on his own, without my prompting. Leading by example can sometimes be the best thing as you can't force someone to change their lifestyle—they have to do it on their own.
I was in this same boat with my ex husband...I hated it. He would try to pick me up and while he could, I could tell it was not an easy task for him It made me feel really bad about myself...but now the ex has gained weight and we are no longer together and I have lost weight and feel fabulous that my new hubbie can pick me up with ease
I feel the same way!!!!! I wa going to mke another post but I'll stick to this one. I know how you girls feel!
My fiance is lean built, and we met when i was thinner than now (130 lbs) and then i just got depressed and stupid stuff happened, I gained 100 lbs (230 lbs now) and like sometimes he tried to pick me up - and of course it wouldn't work, i would barely get up, it makes me cry because I used to be so move around and he picks me up a lot, now its just ...sad.
I am trying though! I am happy for those who got the weight off and feel better!
When I met my hubby, he was 5'11 and 135 lbs. Very lean, very muscled...I weighed my weight now (less maybe a few pounds). He loves me for who I am....He eats fast food, lounges around, no physical excersice really. He's just blessed. and i TIRED to keep up with him...and gained quite a bit of weight..while he stayed relatively the same (he weighs 160 now). I'm losing weight, but I'm not making him do it with me. He doesn't need to.
I'm doing this for me.
If my boyfriend tried to get me to do new things that I had absolutely no interest in (such as beer drinking in the evening, listening to Rammstein, or test driving BMW's), then the relationship would probably be over.
Luckily he does his thing, I do my thing - somehow that leaves us with a lot of fun time for eachother, with no pressure, to do what we both like to do.
And because of me, my boyfriend now likes and craves vegetables, tofu, and smoothies (he used to be a strict meat/potatoes eater). But, I only offered him some of what I was cooking - I never forced it.
On the other hand, he actually was the one that got me into jogging when we first met. Now it is a regular part of my life. And this also majorly helped me quit smoking. So, he also had a good effect on me. Maybe try looking at your boyfriend a little harder - try to see if there is something about his lifestyle that can help you.
I agree - it is super frustrating when your boyfriend is superlean and doesn't have to work for it!
No gym membership here either, but that doesn't stop me from doing fun stuff that burns calories at the same time.
Try some new activities, like roller skating, ice skating, zumba dances on youtube in your own home. Make a fun dance night with just the 2 of you, even if he's not that into at first, you'll be surprised at how much fun you can have laughing at each other if you don't know the moves.
I go roller and ice skating during non-teen/peak times, like during the week. It saves $ and embarrassment!
Besides, at 145#, you're not THAT overweight.
I wouldn't fall into the sit on the couch, lounging all night, drinking beer gig. That's just not a good time imo.
My husband is one of those people you hate, he can have a fat belly one week and gone the next, he's never had cause to worry about his weight, he still eats some of the stuff he normally would but we don't keep a lot of it in the house, he doesn't mind joining in excercise so we can do that together, I doubt that your bf minds really, I'm sure he loves being part of your weight loss and will be enjoying seeing you become happy and confident xx
I dont workout with dh. We did occasionally before we had kids, but now who wants to waste babysitting $$ on workout?
If you are in this for the long haul, then you will have separate interests from time to time. It's really no different than other hobbies. dh races motorcycles. I wont even ride on the back of one puttering around town. NO. I run marathons. dh jogs occasionally at lunch but never races.
I'm lucky in the fact that at this point in my life, both my husband and myself are dedicated to being healthier. I have like 20 more pounds to lose, and he is very fit. HE came home for break from basic training with a 6 pack lol.
I just order a new zumba set, and am gonna start weight training again next week, so im hoping in 6 weeks when he comes back, ill be on the road to having abs of my own.
My boyfriend was not skinny when I met him but he was also not fat. Over the course of your relationship I gained nearly 40lbs while he gained 20 at the most. At one point I weighed as much as he did and it was devastating to me. I was baffled that he could step on the scale and not be upset by the number he saw and would continue eating fast food, junk, lounging watching tv, not being very active.
When I decided to change, I told him my plans but I did not include him in it. You can't force someone to get healthy or be healthier just because you want to do it. I started making my own food, working out, going jogging and would refuse his offer of fast food and junk. I allowed him to eat whatever and whenever he wanted, he could sleep in bed all day for all I cared.
It happened slowly but he would start eating my dinner's instead of making himself a big plate of taco's or nacho's, When he saw he lost a little weight from a simple change in his diet he was pleased. He then started to ask me if he could jog with me and so on. Now he is 25lbs lighter and active with me! He is working on toning his body and getting the body he claims he's always wanted. It all happened without me forcing or pushing him into it.
Everyone needs to be able to make the choice to get healthier on their own.
It's kind of funny because when I started to read your post I thought that it was something that I had wrote myself.. A little over 4 years ago I met my now Fiance. I was right about where I am now, 275 and he WAS 6ft tall and 135, so so skinny! I thought I'd hurt him just from hugging him! LOL.. He had the high metabolism and everything that you mentioned.. But now here we are 4 years later and I'm at my same weight and he's now at 190, but being 6ft tall, he definitely doesn't look it. Now Im trying to actually lose weight and he's trying to gain muscle, so it's like we're doing two different things. I've always like healthier types of food, he could live on fast food. So if I mention anything healthy, I think he's going to have a heart attack.. LOL.. As far as trying to exercise, I tend to not want to if I see him just playing video games or being "lazy" around the house. But then I end of feeling guilty because I'm the one that didn't step up and go exercise, instead I gave in and was "lazy" right along with him. So trust me, I know right where you are coming from with this..
You shouldn't feel like you are dragging him into your new lifestyle, if he doesn't want to do the things that you want to do to get healthy then find a friend or family member that you know will be supportive and help you to your goal. I don't think he would hinder your changes, but you gotta realize that it seems like it's something that a lot of men never have to worry about, when it comes to weight. And us as women seem to always have it on our mind. It's usually fairly easy for most men to drop the weight and for us it seems to take forever!
If you ever need support, just come to the forums! There's always someone here that will lend you a hand and help you with whatever you need!! We are all here to help each other reach our goals!
We do go out for walks and such (when weather permits), but I feel I hold him back because I'm so much slower than he is. He always jokes that when we go shopping he needs those roller shoes on me so he can just pull me along. But he says I'm not fat! I weigh about 60 lbs more than he does! Not that he knows that lol We are both in the process of being more healthy!
OMG! I had to laugh at this, my Fiance does the same dang thing! When we go for our walks around the park he says he has to get used to walking a slower pace than me. Grant it, he has much longer legs than me so my one step is like 3 for him.. LOL.. I can barely keep up with him if we're out shopping or anything, it's horrible but funny at the same time.. Haha
OMG! I had to laugh at this, my Fiance does the same dang thing! When we go for our walks around the park he says he has to get used to walking a slower pace than me. Grant it, he has much longer legs than me so my one step is like 3 for him.. LOL.. I can barely keep up with him if we're out shopping or anything, it's horrible but funny at the same time.. Haha
haha it doesn't get better when you hit goal either! I'm a foot shorter than my fiance and I still can't keep up with him because his legs are just so long! His regular walking pace is like speed walking for me!
Skinny BF, fat me :|
. I'm wondering what would you guys do in this situation? Seems like I'm dragging him into my plans to exercise and eat healthy, and at times I find myself lounging, watching tv... I'm trying to stay positive.. 
And I probably am close to 70lbs lighter than him now. 
It made me feel really bad about myself...but now the ex has gained weight and we are no longer together and I have lost weight and feel fabulous that my new hubbie can pick me up with ease 
