anyone else have a hard time getting over low self-esteem?
It's very logical - I know I need to just work on it but it has been so hard. I show self confidence when I'm out but on the inside I am having trouble even taking compliments/don't believe people. I have just had so many people close to me make fun of my weight and looks for so long or have frankly felt 'invisible' for so long that when I hear people say nice things I have a hard time believing what I'm hearing.
It's very logical - I know I need to just work on it but it has been so hard. I show self confidence when I'm out but on the inside I am having trouble even taking compliments/don't believe people. I have just had so many people close to me make fun of my weight and looks for so long or have frankly felt 'invisible' for so long that when I hear people say nice things I have a hard time believing what I'm hearing.
Anybody else like me?
I think you've stumbled upon a low self-esteem convention. Most of us here have probably had some sort of tramatic weight related experience, whether that blow was inflicted by someone else or just our own conscience. It doesn't help that most of us live in a culture where women are held to an unattainable, photo-shopped version of perfection. I think part of the solution is giving yourself permission to be less than perfect. For many of us, we need to continually remind ourselves that our appearance is not the measure of our worth as a person.
You are certainly not alone. And sometimes we just need to "fake it until we make it". Even though I have lost a significant amount of weight I still don't believe people when they compliment me. It's like I have rolled my eyes at compliments for the past 15 years it's almost just a subconsious response. But you will find, in time, as you receive more compliments you will begin to believe them yourself! We have been put down and shut out for so long that compliments make us feel uncomfortable but eventually it will give us a reverse effect. I am slowly coming around.
It's so hard starting out. You will have a whole range of emotions but just take them one at a time. But don't let anything stop you! Just keep coming here to post and vent.
Just remember that you are working hard in your weight loss journey and you DESERVE all the compliments that come your way!!
I agree with ShanIAm, everyone here probably has some sort of self esteem issue.
I've always been the chubbier sister, the awkward looking girl in class. and after i graduated high school, i had lost some weight, and it gave me confidence. i felt like a supermodel, even though i still was about 30 pounds overweight. I was so confident that i started a relationship with a guy, (we're now getting married!). After we met, i gained about 40 pounds. (they say love makes you gain weight? lol) and I have since then, lost it all back. But my confidence isnt the same. It's a little broken and i hope as i continue to eat healthier, and lost the rest of this blasted weight, that i will find confidence.
It's not always about how you look, it's more about how you treat yourself.
For the most part, I think anyone who's been significantly overweight, has had this issue at one point in time. If you haven't then more power to you...
In the past year, i've had two relationships end because of my self esteem issues. I'm just now starting to believe people when they give me a compliment. For me its hard because when I looked in the mirror at my heaviest, I never saw a fat person. Sure I knew I was overweight but didn't really think it was that bad.
I look back on photos, and it scares me because I think, "What if I look that way now and don't know it?" My perception of myself is so off, that frankly its a big scary. But as I see photos of myself and what I look like now, I really can see a difference, and it does make me more comfortable about myself.
Maybe we should learn to trust an outsiders perspective, rather then relay on our own so much. I think then, we can really believe that yes, we are beautiful.
And sometimes we just need to "fake it until we make it."
This. I was talking to a friend a little while back about how I feel like I'm just acting like I'm not a crazy, compulsive over-eater. She pointed out that I'm not just acting like a non-smoker (I quit 10 years ago) but really am a non-smoker now. So I think it does help to just act like you want to be, and that applies to self-esteem as well. I succumb to negative self-talk too often but am getting better at telling myself to STFU. As January Snow said, we're not just how we look.
anyone else have a hard time getting over low self-esteem?
