Well, it has been a while since I have posted here. I fell off the wagon HARD (once again).

The holidays have not been nice to me in regards to control. I went on vacation for a week and a half at the beginning of December and just let loose with eating junk food. I have been indulging A LOT and even my parents have commented on it.

My exercise regimen is non-existent anymore. :/

It's a vicious cycle:
start healthier eating ->start working out -> give into temptations every so often -> give into temptations more often -> begin obsessing about eating and working out -> get fed up and start overeating/binging and stop working out -> gain back weight -> feel sorry for myself and start eating healthier again

(You get the idea.)

It's either I obsess and drive myself crazy over my healthy lifestyle and plummet into a depression OR I let all of it go and eat whatever I want and eventually plummet into a depression.

I was almost out of the 190s about two months ago. Now, I am around 200-203; which I am sure some of it is water retention from sodium.....but I am not happy that I am back in the 200s.

I can't stay on plan. I don't understand why my willpower is so sucky now.

Any advice? Support?
I will take ANYTHING.

My advice is, "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and dig in again."

It never ends. If you want to lose the weight, get to a healthy and normal BMI, AND STAY THERE, you'll have to work it for the rest of your life. There will be ups and downs and all kinds of crap that gets in the way, but to remain in a constant weight range, you have to keep the food issues on the front burner. There are very few people, (any?) who can lose weight and never have to think about it again. It's work. But so worth the effort.

I'm not sure.... I think a good idea for you might be to not weigh yourself for awhile though. The number (over 200) seems to be getting you down, so might be contributing to your 'oh well' attitude at the moment. Instead, tell yourself that you have a lot of water weight, will likely be under 200 in a flash, but you're going to give yourself one month before you weigh in, and see how close to your low you can get. You might surprise yourself and be in the low 190's again in a month from now.. gives you something to be motivated for, right?!

GL and start today!

I know that routine all too well. For me not restricting certain things and not calling what I'm doing a "diet" has worked well. Perhaps start with changing one or even two bad habits. Convert them to something you can sustain and not something that you know you will fail at. In other words instead of denying yourself all treats or doing insane workouts every morning at 5am. Start with allowing yourself 2 cookies or a scoop of ice cream and a 15 minute walk after dinner. Now, these are just examples I made up off the top, but hopefully you get what I'm saying.

Good luck to you

I'm in the same boat. I lost a bunch of weight and even managed to maintain it for awhile. I started thinking...one bowl of ice cream isn't gonna hurt...oh, I can have a few cookies...an extra serving at dinner just this once won't kill me. Well, the scale started going up. Then I'd tell myself...well, it's only a pound...two pounds, not so bad...five pounds, maybe I need to do something (like eat more ice cream).

A few days ago, I decided enough is enough and went back to eating properly and exercising. It hasn't been easy. Just a few minutes ago I realized that I am desperately in need of something sweet, BUT I'm not giving in this time.

The only way to get back on track is to do it. You KNOW you need to. You KNOW you should. So why not just suck it up and do it before you're in a situation where you find that you have 25 or 30 pounds to lose instead of just 10 or 15? It isn't easy, but I know you can find your inner strength and do it.

Girl, please. For the past 10 years my middle name should have been "Youfailedagain". I smile as I write that but it's so true. I would say that 95% of us on this site have been through many many cycles of being gung ho about losing weight and the minute we slip up we just go back to old ways.

Deep down I always had the desire to lose weight but it eventually came down to me being lazy. I was too lazy to cook something healthy. I was too lazy to go to the gym. I got exhausted counting calories. I got resentful that there were foods I felt I could no longer eat.

When I did try and lose weight I was choosing the wrong weight loss plan and putting too many expectations on my body. I'd stop "dieting" because I denied myself too much and because I only lost 2 pounds that week and not 10.

Earlier this year I finally found a sustainable plan for myself and it stuck. I resigned myself to the fact that losing only 2 pounds a week was just fine with me and if I lost more then GREAT! If I lost 8-10 pounds a month with changing my diet and exercise then in only 5-6 short months I'd be down at least 4 dress sizes at my height! I mean, that is HUGE! And can I tell you how much I love coming onto this site and changing my ticker??

Please do not fret. The first thing you need to do is read up on all the different weight loss options out there (I recommend using this site to do that) and chose the one that works best for your lifestyle. I also recommend getting the hang of your new way of eating and then incorporating exercise later. This way it won't seem so overwhelming and it will give your body a chance to adjust to the new diet. (<-- I hate that word, btw!)

Just my two cents. Now the ball is in your court and I have confidence you'll soon know what you need to do FOR YOU!

I have to add in a day or two where I eat more than usual. I allow myself to have the things that I like. Maybe scheduling "cheat days" will help.

I'm echoing what Lori said - this is your life, when it comes to weight. It is MOST people's lives. You must be vigilant unless you want a regain. We all bounce around the scale, the point is to work at making the bounces smaller and more controlled, keep your weight swings to 2-4 pounds, not 20-40 pounds.

I had a backslide the in the summer and fall, too, and regained about ten pounds. It took a fair bit of time for me to buckle down and decide to lose it again, but I did. It means not ignoring the scale, saying no to myself, thinking before I eat, etc. It means doing all the behaviors that lead me to lose weight in the first place. And it's okay that I wasn't ready to do that for awhile - I am not a bad person, failure, or morally rephehensible for regaining some weight. But if I want to get to goal, I have to do the work to get there, then do the mindful work to stay there. There's no easy way around it.

A few nights out, fine. But my healthful behaviors must outweigh my unhealthy ones if I want to maintain. It doesn't take a ton of brain power, but it does take a little. For me, that means I have to pretty much ban sugar and starch in my daily diet. I must also only drink once or twice a year. These things screw with my hunger cues, insulin, and cause the scale to go haywire. I wasn't always willing to say no to my inner two year old and stick to a plan that got me to where I wanted to be. But I couldn't be loosy goosy with the diet and expect good results, you know?

There's an old saying that goes, "You are only a failure if you quit." You are still coming here; you haven't given up yet. You could have done worse. You recognize the problem, and are willing to look for solutions; and these are all victories IMHO ... So, KEEP GOING.

I agree that part of that gain is likely water retention. I also agree that you need to find a plan that doesn't make you feel so pressured; one that you can still enjoy foods you like, in moderation. You will still lose weight & inches & sizes: all victories. KEEP GOING.

Choose physical activities that you enjoy; ones that you could & would like to do for the rest of your life (as Lori says). Your eating plan and activities should be able to fit that criteria: the long term. Mistakes happen to us all; the key to success is to KEEP ON GOING! I cannot emphasize that enuff.

If you are binging becuz you feel deprived; then stop depriving yourself. Take a good look at what you are eating. How can you encorporate something similar that you like in small portions into your plan? Eat what you like; don't go by what someone else likes or does. KEEP GOING.

As KAPLODS likes to say, we have to stop the ALL OR NOTHING mentality; if you flub a meal or day -- so what? You have the next day or meal or snack or week to fix it up again. KEEP GOING. You will win the race, if you just keep running.

You will learn things along the way ... What works for you; what doesn't; how to tweak your plan; what you like; what you hate; what you love; what tides you over, etc. KEEP GOING.

You are so close to where you want to be; you can do this. You do have it in you. DO IT; start NOW ... and oh ya, KEEP GOING!!!

Great advice already! I think what ShanIAm said is key. You have to find the plan that works for you. I've tried many. I found the one that works for me, and I think that I'm going to be able to stick with it for a lifetime, both in areas of nutrition and exercise.

The other thing that works for me is that I weigh myself every day, and record my weight. I find that the daily weight is what keeps me accountable. For me, it sets the tone for how I eat and exercise that day. I find that when I don't weigh myself for 2 or more days, I start to slip. I cheat more. I don't deny myself much of anything. I just account for it in my daily calories. It's going back for "just one more" that gets me!

My method for stopping the cycle:

Draw a line in the sand and start over immediately. Don't wait until tomorrow or the beginning of the week. Draw a line in your head (or you food journal) and start over NOW.

Eat a healthy meal. When I've had a binge, I often would skip a meal in order to make up for it, but then I would just binge more because the binge wasn't the food I needed and when the sugar high was over, I crashed. So I eat a normal meal of healthy food (normal, as in what I eat when I am watching what I eat). By giving my body the nutrients it needs I am able to get back on the wagon a lot quicker than I would be able to otherwise.

Hang in there! You can do this!

Thanks ladies for all the support and advice.

I didn't actually start regaining focus until today. I knew very well that I wouldn't be mentally prepared for controlling my intake on New Years because we were having a party at my place and my willpower was still low.

So, since it is a new year and a new day.....I am starting today.

I am quitting smoking today and beginning to limit my drinking A LOT. Both were making me sick and unmotivated. The drinking was becoming an issue so I am stopping it RIGHT NOW before it gets out of hand.
I am also not going to start working out until I can get a handle on my eating habits and sustain a mostly-healthy way of eating. Once that is in motion, I will SLOWLY add back in exercise. No more rushing myself and causing injuries.

This is not a race. I must remember that.

Good plan! Believe it or not, I actually quit smoking, quit drinking and started my new life...all on the same day. I am very proud to say that I am tobacco/alcohol free for almost 4 years now...all the while managing to lose 190 pounds...and maintaing the loss. SO, if any one tells you it can't be done, do what I did and prove them WRONG!!!

Sounds like a plan. Remember, too, that a slip-up is just that - a slip-up. It's not a moral failing, not a crime, and not a complete torpedo to your entire plan. You can get right back on plan with the very next meal, the very next bite even - the very next choice.

I'm debating creating an accountability thread where I can post my personal victories/struggles daily so I don't jump too far off plan again and where others can post their victories/struggles.

Or is there already a thread like that?