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-   -   am i close to looking normal...? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/248948-am-i-close-looking-normal.html)

gagalu 12-20-2011 10:57 PM

am i close to looking normal...?

i feel really insecure -- almost more so than when i was 100+ lbs heavier, because at least then i knew for a certainty that i was fat. i still feel fat, but i have family members telling me they think i'm getting too skinny and i'm a size 10 now, and i thought that i would look and feel so much smaller at that size.

i'm just so confused! i honestly feel humongous, but i can now share clothes with one of my best friends who i've always thought was tiny. it's freaking me out! maybe it's the loose skin, or maybe i'm "skinny fat"?

i thought i'd feel better after having lost a lot of weight, and i do a little, but i still have very little self esteem and i guess this is all compounding into a bigger issue because i got a profile on a dating website a while back at the behest of my friends because i'm moving to ny, and i started talking to a guy on there and we were gonna meet this week because i'm spending xmas break here but now i feel like backing out because i just feel so HUGE and like it'll be disappointing or awkward. so, idk, i don't know what to do!

wow, that was ramble-y. i'm sorry, i'm just so effing nervous and i don't feel like i have anyone irl who would understand any of these things in the least! i guess i just don't really know how i look in relation to other people anymore, and it's really freaking me out. i don't know how others perceive me, and i don't trust my friends or family because, well, they're friends and family! it's their job to lie to me, loool.

idk, i guess i just thought my mind would be caught up with my body by now. i feel so fat at 166 lbs, but i'm only 7 lbs overweight. that doesn't seem like a lot to me because of how much i've already lost, but that's a lot to normal people, right? DGHAJ

this is so frustrating!!! can anyone else relate?

Lambiechop 12-20-2011 11:01 PM

I think you look great!!!

BeachKitty 12-20-2011 11:09 PM

I wish I could relate haha. Girl you look AMAZING!!! Listen to me you are far far far from being huge. Your waist is soooo tiny! What you're dealing with is only psychological. I wish I could help you out more than telling you my honest opinion though. Your family is not lying to you at all.

Alwaysbeenbig 12-20-2011 11:12 PM

I think that you look wonderful and that all the hard work that you have put into getting yourself healthy has definitely paid off. As to your question "do I look normal?" I would say yes.

I think that with weightloss it can often take a long time for your head to catchup with your physical changes and this is why it is so important to have a strong, stable and honest support network.

Mommywannabe 12-20-2011 11:46 PM

OMG you look amazing! We're about the same height and I hope I look half as good as you do at 166!

fitterchick160 12-21-2011 12:13 AM

You are absouletly beautiful! It's all mental, you mind can't always process whats in the mirror and remember you are rocking' that dress!

redlight 12-21-2011 12:37 AM

You look fantastic!!

Mimzzy 12-21-2011 12:42 AM

You look flipping fantastic! Holy crap. In all honesty I know how you feel, at 135 I still feel huge and disgusting. I can't see much of a difference in my body and everyone else seems to be able to. It really bothers me so I can feel your pain but you look so thin! Its so amazing!

JohnP 12-21-2011 12:57 AM

Is part of your problem that you're comparing yourself to some ideal image in your head?

From a male perspective I'd say you most certainly look normal and then some.:D

January Snow 12-21-2011 01:03 AM

First, I have to agree with everyone else in saying that you look great. I was really glad that you posted some pictures because I'm pretty much your measurements only shorter (lucky me). Sometimes I feel like a bit of a freak being this curvy. I'm so glad you posted some pictures because I can be a bit dysmorphic, and it was a good reality check to see what my measurements actually look like. If you're like me whether or not you feel "fat" can depend on what body part you're focusing on. It's tough for me (and probably you) to find clothes that fit, and I often have to size up to accommodate my hips which doesn't exactly make me feel good. Anyway, I think part of the body images issue you're having might be linked to being an atypical body shape.

Also, you're definitely not "skinny fat". What you're probably seeing as fat is just excess skin from losing tons of weight in a relatively short period of time. For what it's worth, I would have guessed your weight to be in the low 150s, so you don't look "overweight". If you're ever doubting the amazing progress you've made, pull up your before and after side-by-side and step back and look at them as you would if they were someone else.

So are you "normal"? No, definitely not. The average woman is no where near as hourglassy as we are. Fortunately for us, our body type is generally considered guy hot. I've been this body shape for my entire adult life, and, trust me, (most) straight men dig curves. I've also found that men often overlook a few extra pounds on a woman who's waist to hip ratio is still low especially if she's also...ahem...well-endowed. So don't worry about what this guy's going to think. If he's like the majority of men I've encountered, he's going to probably going to think your body rocks.

Unna 12-21-2011 01:16 AM

I wanted to ask the same question as JohnP: what does your ideal in your head look like? (seriously, I am interested in your answer).

jayohwhy 12-21-2011 01:37 AM

you look hot.

gagalu 12-21-2011 01:52 AM

wow, guys! thank you all so much for the kind words!! i really needed that pick me up.

@Unna and JohnP - now that you mention it, that's definitely a part of the problem. my mom and sister were tiny when they were my age -- like size 3-5, and i really admire that body type. my hips are so big, though, i will probably never be smaller than a 6-8! i know that's a tiny size and i'd never look at a size 6-8 or even 10 and think, "wow, they're big girls", but i think i'll still feel like one because i'm not living up to my imagined ideal. maybe i'll grow out of it? :)

@January Snow - i am DEFINITELY like you!! i fixate on my upper arms and thighs, because they really are large in comparison to my torso, wrists, and ankles. it makes me feel so weird and huge focusing on those body parts, but i feel better remembering that my waistline is the same measurement as my size 5 roomate. thank you a lot for everything you said!! your post in particular made me feel sooo much better, probably because you know exactly what i'm talking about given the similarities in our measurements!

indiblue 12-21-2011 02:18 AM


Originally Posted by gagalu (Post 4143478)
@January Snow - i am DEFINITELY like you!! i fixate on my upper arms and thighs, because they really are large in comparison to my torso, wrists, and ankles. it makes me feel so weird and huge focusing on those body parts

I'm totally the same, and learning to be okay with these proportions! It's nice to be reminded this is just one of many, many very normal body types right? :)

Unna 12-21-2011 04:37 AM

gagalu: I think it is okay to fantasize about having a particular body weight/size - it gives you something to shoot for.

At the same time, don't forget that, objectively, you have a very nice figure, and you don't look one pound overweight. The majority of the population would say : she looks healthy and has nice proportions.

So, keep aiming for more and trying to reach your ideal, while, at the same time, being really happy with what you do have! Hope that makes sense!

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