am i close to looking normal...?

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  • You look amazing. If you were walking down the street I certainly wouldn't think "oh she must have lost weight" you look like you've always been skinny.

    A strong strong word of advice, work on that headspace or you are going to gain your weight back. I lost 60lb a few years ago, was convinced I didn't look any better, and I've gaines 50lb of it back.

    It is hard when you've always been a high weight to realise when you've "made it", so work on it.

    You are here honey, this is what thin feels like. Confusing, and a bit unsettling, but you'll get used to it!
  • OP, I've maintained for 8 years. The truth is that sometimes we believe losing the weight will "fix" the image problems. We are so focused on the scale # that we think it is the cure. It is not. When overweight, we can never understand why "skinny" people feel they have flaws - why would they? They are skinny? There is no reason to have any flaw. Well, that train of that is flawed too The truth is that it takes a long time to grow into a "new" body.

    There are days I feel "fat". I have loose skin on my stomach from my baby, I will never wear a bikini despite being a size 4. Most maintainers have some hang ups (and I don't know any of them that don't). Weight loss does not fix self image. It helps, but doesn't fix it. What fixes it? I suspect body acceptance and time most of all - I don't know many old grannies that are too obsessed with their looks, it takes time to realize how much wasted energy is put into that.

    Remember how subjective this all is. For example, I am 30lbs less than you, yet I look at your picture and all I can think is "gee, if I had a shape like that I wouldn't complain! I wish I had nice hips & boobs!" - perhaps you would look at me and think "gee, I wish I was ....... like her". We all nit pick.

    And go on the dates, I promise that men won't complain about how you look!
  • You look amazing!!!

    I agree 100% with January Snow. I'm also curvy (well, more of a big bust now, since I've lost a lot off of my hips, but my butt is still hanging in there! ) and I too carry a lot of weight in my arms to the point that a top will fit everywhere but there.

    Check out the blog, I started looking at blogs for other curvy women and it REALLY helped with my body image (and now I write one myself). At my highest weight I had actually forgotten about many of my body image issues when I was younger because I was so focused on being fat. However, as a teen I remember realizing that I'd never be "thin" in the sense that I'm large framed and have a large bust/butt no matter what I'm not going to look like a waif at a small weight. That being said I can still look great but I need to take special care to find clothes that fit my body type because when you have a large bust/bottom and a small waist you can't wear baggy clothes otherwise it adds a lot of pounds. Then again every women has her "issues" with her body and has certain body parts in mind when dressing that's just the way of life.

    I do think there are definitely those out there who don't understand the difference between curves and weight. It doesn't help that plus-sized women are referred to as "curvy". I know I've even had a doctor tell me recently that I was "really big" (at 14lbs overweight). Then there's this philosophy the curvy women should just be happy buying up sizes even though it doesn't fit anywhere else. The confusion is incredibly frustrating and lacks a very basic understanding of body types. I find it great that many companies are starting to recognize this and you can now find curvy jeans and companies like Pepperberry and BiuBiu exist where you can buy shirts/dresses according to your bust size. Definitely a step in the right direction.

    Ok, after all that rambling, I wanted to say hold your head high. You look great and you've put in tons of hardwork! Many women would love to have your body type. I'd suggest taking measurements and lots of pictures to help you get a realistic body image in your head. Also maybe look at pics of other curvy celebs (Sophie Vengoria and Christina Hendericks) to get a better idea of what you want to look like at your goal, comparing yourself to someone like Gweneth Paltrow (for example) is just going to frustrate you to no end.
  • You don't just look normal, you look hot!
  • Gagaula. You look great and you do not have 30 plus pounds to lose. I've looked at your 130 weight for a 5'7" woman and was worried for you about that number.

    It is hard to be a bigger girl in a family of tiny women, but that is because we get fixated on sizes and numbers on the scale. Women are funny in that way. But really a larger framed person looks just as thin or good at a size 8 as a small framed person looks at a size 3. It's all about how much fat is covering the bones versus muscle.

    And I'm sure saggy skin is part of the insecurities. It looks like fat, but it's not. And... It will continue to shrink up. I'm noticing that even on my 42 year old body and you definitely should on your much younger body. It just takes time for the skin to catch up with the Rest of the body.
  • First off, you look hot! I would have to agree that maybe you don't need to lose 30lbs. What is your frame size?

    I think some of the problems with losing weight is that we get this image in our head—maybe we think we'll look like a swimsuit model—and it's hard to get out. We keep chasing that ideal or we keep chasing a number on the scale without stopping and realizing what we've already achieved. Take lots and lots of pictures and compare. I'm betting that just taking this picture and looking at it that you were shocked! Does the you we all see in the picture match the you that you see in your head?

    Also, I know how you feel. I'm a smaller size than one of my friends who I always thought was skinny (she's a size 6, I'm a 2/4) and yet I still feel huge sometimes. It doesn't help that I have broad shoulders so sometimes I have to go up on tops :/....

    When I was 200lbs I always imagined myself as a small, physically fit person. Just before I hit my goal weight I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but stare for 10 minutes or so because I realized that I had reached what I had pictured myself as. I never pictured myself as a swimsuit model, but rather as a curvy, physically fit why was I trying to get to a perfect body anyway? I don't even know. I guess sometimes we're chasing something we've already caught.
  • You look amazing!! Congratulations on the loss. I agree with everybody else that this weight looks really good on you. I mean, if you want to go lower that's your choice to make, but maybe you should take a maintenance break first and give your skin and your mind time to catch up with your body?

    You have such a tiny waist and such a nice shape!

    And you definitely look much smaller than a size 10, IMO.
  • This site has probably been posted a million times here, but you should probably check it out mybodygallery. I'm not allowed to post links yet, but it's easy to find.

    I have lost a substantial amount of weight over the years and have a very warped image. Once in awhile I head to this site to give myself a wake up call and remind myself I really do look normal.
  • And I also meant to say, you look awesome. You look much better than normal, you have a smoking body!

    Make sure you make men treat you right. I was a disaster with men once I started getting attention from them, I wasn't used to it and I went a bit crazy for awhile. I'm not saying you will too, just be aware of it.
  • Quote:
    A strong strong word of advice, work on that headspace or you are going to gain your weight back. I lost 60lb a few years ago, was convinced I didn't look any better, and I've gaines 50lb of it back.
    Word. I still felt like I was a fat person condensed and I gained it all back....well most.
  • goodness, seriously you guys, words are not enough! your input has helped me out in more ways than words can possibly express.

    @Daimere and the member she quoted, you two are both definitely right! i lost 100 lbs in high school and gained it all back for those very reasons. that, and i wasn't ready to face at the time that i had an honest to god eating disorder. now that i'm aware of it, i've learned how to deal with binge eating and i've a much healthier relationship with food because of it. if i gain any back, it definitely won't be all 100+ lbs again, and i'm going to try very hard to make that none at all! i love my new body, and i love all of the clothes that i can wear now!

    @runningfromfat thank you for the link to that blog! i can definitely relate to those posts! especially the clothing guides. i think one of the problems i'm having is how IN baggy clothes are. urban outfitters and american apparel both have so many gorgeous baggy styles, and they stick them on rail thin models, and i'm just so disappointed that my body will never look like that in those clothes! i guess i'll just have to deal.

    @berryblondeboys when you're right, you're right. i've been struggling with that goal number for a while now. that number is more just an ideal, and i think i've been considering it because i'm terrified of maintenance. weight loss, i can do, but i regained everything the last time i hit "maintenance" -- granted i didn't even have a concept of what maintenance was the first time around! but, i'm thinking i'll be a lot more realistic with it. people irl will ask me when i plan on stopping, and i tell them around 140-145. that number is much more realistic, especially since i want to work on acquiring more muscle!
  • No problem!!! Oh, and I actually just recently posted a guest blog complaining about all the loose tops out there at the moment. Ugh!

    I have found that those blogs (and if you go to my blog listed in my signature I have a ton of links to other curvy blugs) have helped so much with fashion advice, finding brands that works well with my body and self-confidence in general. At the beginning of my journey I was really strong considering a breast reduction when I reached goal and now my mind has changed quite a bit! I still am thinking about a breast lift because I have A LOT of loose skin there but I'm much happier with my actual size. Ditto for my big butt too!
  • gagalu, congrats on your hard work and success! I suggest spending a little time on the Maintainer's forum. We have threads about body image after weight loss, handling relapses, the "fat clothes" issues, and lot of other great advice on the "Now what?" Lots of cool chicks over there and even a couple of roosters.
  • You look AWESOME! Girl, if I saw you in the mall I would think "what a lucky girl with a figure like that!" I would never in a million years think you had a weight problem. Congratulations, you look amazing!
  • From a guys perspective you look great! The problem is that society hyper-idealizes that a size 2 is where women should be. I think that's total crap. You need to be where you feel comfortable with yourself. I think it's fantastic that the readers of Esquire recently voted Christina Hendricks the most beautiful woman. I agree. She is curvy and beautiful and not a size 2. Give it a little time and you will grow to love your new body. 100 lbs is a huge achievement you should be proud!