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-   -   Do people dismiss you when your fat, or because of your weight? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/248314-do-people-dismiss-you-when-your-fat-because-your-weight.html)

jenjulia 12-08-2011 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee (Post 4130953)
I have absolutely felt dismissed, disliked and misunderstood because of my weight. Strangers don't look at me. Seriously. They don't look AT me. They look around me, over me, to the side of me. But not at me. People assume I'm lazy and that I lack willpower.
It's frustrating.

YES! I totally agree!! But I will say that I was also too embarrassed to give people eye contact myself and I'm just starting to be able to do that and people have been so friendly! I have found myself wondering if it was because I'm 12 pounds from my "healthy weight?" People who I've seen everyday at preschool, etc... for three years are asking me for my phone number, want to get together to do stuff and I find myself wondering...where were you when I was lonely before, lol? :?:

PreciousMissy 12-08-2011 04:24 PM

I have to be honest...I wouldn't take fashion advice from a designer seriously if they were walking around in a ratty house robe and bunny slippers all the time. But I would not dismiss them on a strictly personal level because of the way they were dressed.

I remember being out with a girlfriend once and a guy was hitting on her. This was not a problem, I was married at the time and had no interest in this guy's friend, but he wouldn't even look my direction let alone engage in a conversation with the "fat chick". That was years ago, but it stuck with me as the first time that I took notice that I was 100% judged on my appearance. I know that guy was a shallow jerk, but I took it as a good lesson in life.

PrairieGirl 12-08-2011 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esofia (Post 4132656)
I've had trouble getting health and disability problems taken seriously due to being overweight. The school of thought is that you can't be that ill unless you're thin. I've been refused help in the home when I was too ill to cook and not getting enough meals in the day, specifically because I wasn't underweight. If you can't answer, "Yes," to the question, "Are you losing weight rapidly?" then you're sunk.

I had a doctor attribute my asthma to being overweight (I was 5'4" and 145lbs, but age 13, this is a normal BMI)...this stuck with me and a part of me still believes that I will be magically cured of asthma when I reach my goal weight. LOL

kirsteng 12-08-2011 08:12 PM

I have also noticed that my comments are not required or listened to seriously about anything to do with beauty or diet. I don't really care, as at 43 I don't need to impress anyone.. but I've definitely noticed it in passing.

I also have noticed that people are not as friendly as they were when I was say, 20 pounds lighter than I now am (which I was for many years). I would have been just on the cusp of overweight/obese at the time, which I think makes a lot of difference in appearance compared to now. I wasn't living in the same city as I now am, but I really am not so sure that the changes are to do with geography... I really think it might have something to do with appearance too. People I meet are friendly, but coolly so these days. Oh well, their loss. I'm a super-fun, smart and cool person to hang out with!! ;)


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