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Old 10-12-2011, 08:42 AM   #1  
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Unhappy demotivated... what to do?

I've been working at loosing weight for over a month now (since the end of August) and have been pretty successful too-- I've lost around 15lbs so far. Despite this success, I've been feeling pretty down this week and have to force myself to do my exercise.

Today, according to my plan, I should go swimming, but I don't want to. It was the same story yesterday when I went running. The thing is, I love swimming, I should want to go. Running, I don't like so much, but I thought I'd force myself to try it for a month or two, and if I still don't like it then, I'll quit and do something else.

I just feel so demotivated, and angry too. Why can my sister eat whatever she wants and be a beanpole when I have to watch what I eat and exercise too? I know this is stupid, but I can't help but feel frustrated sometimes.

I guess I'm looking for some support, and maybe some tips for motivation. What do you do when you get down about dieting? I'm scared of falling off the wagon big time...
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:02 AM   #2  
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Well--why not give yourself a break day? If you are exercising every single day, it could be that you're just... tired! You aren't going to be "struck fat" because you didn't go swimming 1 day. I don't mean just sit around the house--you might want to go somewhere and walk around, something easy like that. It all counts. And then tomorrow, you may want to go swimming.

As for Why Does Your Sister... Well, life is not fair. You are what you are. Your sister's situation doesn't matter.

Plenty of times I have felt angry because I can't just go back to my "old way of eating" and all that "fun" I loved to have, using food as a recreational substance! But it's good to accept the law of cause and effect: overeat=gain weight.

It's not a death sentence! I like the foods I eat now. I am satisfied when I finish a good meal. I don't have to pile on calories, desserts, etc. to feel happy.

I hope you feel better soon, because giving up isn't really a good option. I did that and regained. It's not easier doing it over again.

Jay
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:41 AM   #3  
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I once read this sign that said "the hardest part about running is the first step out of the door".

A lot of times we over-analyze how terrible it will be and end up staying home, only to feel more guilty and stressed. You have to admit - you just feel better the whole day after exercising. I also find I eat better on the days I do exercise.

My tip is: don't harp on how terrible exercise is going to be. Just do it (unless you have an injury).

If you decide not to exercise, just let it go. Don't cause yourself any unnecessary stress.
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:47 AM   #4  
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I've so been there! And I will be there again.

I can't tell you how many times I sat my husband down and b**ched about wanting to give up, being too tired, too hungry, not "into it". Really all I needed was to just moan for a bit!! Get it out!

I don't know many people who ALWAYS want to work out. I love Zumba like crazykins, but there are still many days where the thought of shaking it just isn't exciting. But I make myself go...fret for the first 5 minutes..and then end up having a blast!

Someone once suggested on here to tell yourself that you only need to workout for 10 minutes. 10 minutes is better than nothing. Do it for 10, and then see how you feel. You might want to stop. No probelm! You still did 10 minutes! BUt odds are you will be starting to feel it and might go 20, 30 minutes or more!

Motivation is an ever-changing thing. Improvise and keep chuggin'!
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:48 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll View Post
Well--why not give yourself a break day? If you are exercising every single day, it could be that you're just... tired! You aren't going to be "struck fat" because you didn't go swimming 1 day. Jay

WHOA!!!!! I've been needing to hear this! What a great way to look at taking a day off and NOT feeling guilty.
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:54 AM   #6  
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It really sucks when you get into this frame of mind, doesn't it! We've all been there.

Well, you have to remind yourself why you want to lose the weight and accept that nothing else matters--your sister, feeling bummed out, or anything else. You want to be slim and that's all there is to it. It's like learning a new skill--the project is a slim, healthy new YOU and at the end, you will achieve it. Stay with it and when you've done it, you'll be delighted!

Yes, you have to eat right--no way around that. Pick your favorite "on plan" foods and enjoy them.

Your use of the word "should" is a clue-- it suggests you don't really want to swim or exercise just now, so why not instead just take your drink bottle and go for a brisk walk?

You can do it..keep reading the posts here and use the wisdom and encouragement of all of us on 3FC.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:05 AM   #7  
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I know what you mean. One of the main reasons I've always regained my weight in past attempts is that I run out of steam and start throwing an inner tantrum that is some version of "It's not fair" ---e.g., "It's not fair that I have to micromanage what I eat!" "It's not fair that I have to work out almost every day!" etc. You get the picture.

What I realize this time around is something that is pretty simple: Life isn't always fair, but out of all the unfair things in life, my having to watch what I eat a bit and get more active is probably the least "unfair" thing.

Besides, it's an illusion that so many people out there can eat everything in sight, sit on the couch and still look and feel great. A tiny minority can get away with that. Usually, though, thin people only SEEM to get away with boundary-less eating and no exercise; if you really examine their habits, they usually regulate their eating by skipping meals, not finishing what's on their plate, etc. If anything is effortless, it's just that they don't seem to have to focus on doing those things; those things come more naturally to them than they do to us.

Another thing is that you may be pushing yourself too hard. This time before I started my weight loss in June, I decided that I REALLY was not going to commit to doing ANYTHING that I would not want to do for the rest of my life. So, I made a mental list of things that I am unwilling to do for the rest of my life (e.g., low carb, regular gym workouts, etc.). I knew, however, that I would have to make SOME kinds of sacrifices, but I wanted to make them as painless as possible. So, I decided to calorie count and allow myself more food that I had in the past. That seems to be working, and I don't feel deprived because I eat real food and regularly allow myself treats. I just do so in moderation. Also, I rarely do formal, gym-type workouts. I only incorporate exercise into my daily routine. Perhaps doing something more moderate than you're doing right now would help.

What has also helped me is reading this from a post on this forum: "Being fat is hard. Losing is hard. Maintaining is hard. Choose your hard." It says it all.

Last edited by lin43; 10-12-2011 at 10:05 AM.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:14 AM   #8  
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My new method of dealing with consistency is I'm at least walking every day that I'm not running. I figure for me, walking is better than nothing and it's helping me maintain a pattern of regular activity. Oh, another huge motivator for me is signing up for a future race. I know that I have a plan to run a race in March, so I'd better stick to my plans if I want it to go well. Having a goal is huge for me.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:41 AM   #9  
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Someone who used to post here often, Eliana, talked about setting a "baseline" of physical activity for the day - a minimum amount of exercise that she was absolutely committed to doing, no matter what.

I found this idea very helpful, because often the hardest barrier to overcome for me is that initial barrier - I'm comfy in my seat, do I really have to change into my gym clothes and start moving? If I set an absolute minimum for myself - say, 20 minutes on the elliptical, an amount that is not so hard to achieve - and made it as much a commitment as washing the dishes each evening, then it got me over that inertial barrier to even getting started.

Most days, once I get started, I can do more - something more strenuous than the 20 minutes, or add in my lifting routine, or whatever else. There are those days when I really am just too tired, and I do the baseline amount and stop. But at least I did something.

That is one way to convert your thinking from "motivation" to "commitment." You have motivation - you said so yourself in your initial post, "I'm scared of falling off the wagon big time..." You have motivation, but motivation by itself is not enough. You also have to commit to doing whatever it takes to stay on plan, whether you are struggling with exercise or meal planning or willing yourself past temptation. So, I suggest committing to something manageable to get you over the hump, and then pat yourself on the back for the days you find yourself achieving beyond that commitment.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:55 AM   #10  
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I also just wanted to add that just because people are naturally slim dose not mean they are healthy.

I eat mostly clean whole foods and try to exercise or at least be active because it is the most loving thing I can do for myself and my family. It will help to keep me healthy and able to use my body as I age. Weight loss is just a bonus.

Everybody no matter what there size needs to eat mostly clean whole foods in reasonable amounts and to move their body.

I also refuse to beat myself up anymore for missing a workout or not eating perfectly instead I use the opportunity to learn more about myself and what I need and how I can treat myself with loving kindness. This also helps me avoid the whole "well I messed up so I might as well overindulge and hurt myself with food and inactivity" mentality.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:55 AM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carter View Post
That is one way to convert your thinking from "motivation" to "commitment." You have motivation - you said so yourself in your initial post, "I'm scared of falling off the wagon big time..." You have motivation, but motivation by itself is not enough. You also have to commit to doing whatever it takes to stay on plan, whether you are struggling with exercise or meal planning or willing yourself past temptation. So, I suggest committing to something manageable to get you over the hump, and then pat yourself on the back for the days you find yourself achieving beyond that commitment.
Wow, that's a good explanation of the difference between the two. Thanks.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:58 AM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oxia View Post
I've been working at loosing weight for over a month now (since the end of August) and have been pretty successful too-- I've lost around 15lbs so far. Despite this success, I've been feeling pretty down this week and have to force myself to do my exercise.

Today, according to my plan, I should go swimming, but I don't want to. It was the same story yesterday when I went running. The thing is, I love swimming, I should want to go.

I know this is stupid, but I can't help but feel frustrated sometimes.

I guess I'm looking for some support, and maybe some tips for motivation. What do you do when you get down about dieting? I'm scared of falling off the wagon big time...
1st of all - CONGRATS on the 15 down!!! You're DOING IT!!!

2ndly, I understand... esp about the swimming. I love to swim! It is my favorite "exercise" in the world! It's my "zen"!! I love-love-LOVE it! And yet, there are days when I just DO NOT WANT to get in the water. Sometimes it's a silly reason... like... my hair (I color the heck outta my hair & the pool chlorine doesn't do it ANY favors, LOL) Sometimes I go ahead & swim anyway, sometimes I just.... don't.

And now that summer's over (where I live) my pool is closed for the season anyway.

Sometimes I don't exercise at all. When I was younger (in my 20's) I used to be in love with exercise. Now, eh, not so much. But I try! - the main thing is that I don't get outta whack about it. I attempt 2-3x per week, and if I don't, then OK. I concentrate on "diet for weight loss/exercise for fitness". I know that I DO FEEL BETTER when I exercise. My body appreciates it! And that is usually motivation enough for me. But if I don't exercise on any given day, I don't sweat it (heh! pun!!!) - I just aim for another day. And I will walk, bike, lift weights - whatever - just getting in the movement is the important thing (to me).
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Old 10-12-2011, 01:44 PM   #13  
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As hard as it is to get up and go to the gym some days, I just remind myself that I have NEVER regretted going to the gym after I finish my workout, but I definitely have regretted staying home instead.
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Old 10-12-2011, 02:52 PM   #14  
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I have felt like that, and I probably will at some point again. The trick is picking yourself up and getting through it with out falling completely. When I get into this state I write a list of all the things I am looking forward to when I lose the weight like buying a new wardrobe, wearing a bikini, being happy. Usually after writing down all things that I look forward to I have motivated myself enough to get off my butt lol

I completely understand the frustration with watching your sister eat anything she wants and be tiny. I have a coworker who comes into work complaining that she binged on donuts, chips, cookies etc and now she feels so "fat". She is tiny only 120lbs and eats like crap but it doesn't effect her! While I am here busting my a$$ to lose the weight I gained easily through the same crappy eating habits. Does it piss me off a little bit? Definitely. Do I wish I could be the same? **** yes. Do I let it get to me? No. It's not worth dwelling over, they are who they are and we are who we are.

I hope you find your motivation and commitment again soon, Congrats on the 15lbs loss! That is an amazing accomplishment
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:01 PM   #15  
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I understand how you feel completely. Today has been a rough day for me, too. I messed up my eating plan (Stupid Chick-Fil-A)... and I feel HORRIBLY guilty for it. I've also been super lazy about my work outs (and I am JUST getting started with my quest to lose some weight)... so all the thoughts of "who am I kidding? I've started so many times just to give up after a week or so" are hitting me.

Bottom line: You DESERVE to feel better about yourself. Take a day off if you are tired, but don't give up.
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