I am losing faith and I don't know where else to turn
I've been on a diet a little over a week, and I've stuck to it 100%; no cheating & I was so proud of myself.
I was scared to weigh myself at first, and I haven't weighed myself in years, but since I've been doing so well I got enough courage to weigh myself today... I am so shocked that I weigh as much as I do. I can't stop crying. I knew I needed to lose weight, but I am just hysterical about my weight, and honestly I feel like it's pointless to even keep trying. I weigh 321 pounds, I feel like a beached whale. I am just disgusted with myself. I don't know what to do. I haven't felt this down in a very long time.
It's never pointless. Please look around the site and read the inspirational stories of men and women who have weighed as much as or more than you and have lost successfully. This site is a treasure trove of hope.
Congratulations on having a totally successful week on plan. That is a MAJOR accomplishment in itself. Like many other things in life, weight loss is undertaken one small step at a time and you are already on the path.
I've been on a diet a little over a week, and I've stuck to it 100%; no cheating & I was so proud of myself.
I was scared to weigh myself at first, and I haven't weighed myself in years, but since I've been doing so well I got enough courage to weigh myself today... I am so shocked that I weigh as much as I do. I can't stop crying. I knew I needed to lose weight, but I am just hysterical about my weight, and honestly I feel like it's pointless to even keep trying. I weigh 321 pounds, I feel like a beached whale. I am just disgusted with myself. I don't know what to do. I haven't felt this down in a very long time.
Well, look at it this way. You are as heavy as you are. Getting on the scale didn't change how heavy you are - it just gave you awareness of it.
You now have two choices. You can continue on the path you started a week ago, sticking to your plan and working at it. If you do that, stick to your plan for the long term, the weight will start to come off.
Or, you can give up. If you do that, you are guaranteed to stay just as heavy as you are - maybe even get heavier.
So, why on earth would you choose to give up? You were ready to work on it last week when you didn't know how heavy you were. The only thing that has changed now is that you have more knowledge. That's it - nothing else is different. Why would that knowledge make you want to stay the way you are?
Go back to where you were a week ago when you started your plan. Tap into the strength it took to do that, and do it again. If you've stayed on plan for a week, you can stay on plan today. And then you can stay on plan tomorrow. String together a bunch of days like that, and the weight will start to come off.
Great post Carter! And just think SimplyMe, a week on plan means you probably lost weight. If you'd gotten on the scale before starting your plan you would have seen a higher number and today when you weighed again you'd probably be real proud of that 321.
Just try to put things in a positive prospective. You started, you did awesome for a week, now keep going so you can see a lower number next week. =)
My favorite quote on here from the lovely Emme
Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining your weight is hard. Pick your hard.
Last edited by TooManyDimples; 10-10-2011 at 11:44 AM.
When I started WW I weighed 220.2 at the first weigh in. The leader said to me "That's where you're starting. That's the last time you will see that number." Anyway, power of positive thinking, that is the last time I saw that number. You said that you were 100% on plan - that is AWESOME! So now you know where you started and you know where you are going - you can do it! Tell yourself the same thing - "That's where you are starting. You will never see that number again."
It is shocking when you first find out how much you weigh after years of denial - I think a lot of people on this site can relate to that. But now that you know you can change. Set a mini-goal (or a series of mini-goals), read the forums here, post here (once you have twenty posts you can get a tracker at the bottom of your posts - nothing makes me happier than changing the number on my tracker!)
I can totally related to what you are saying. When I first started, I was shocked to be weighed at the Dr's office to find that I was 272 pounds. I darned near blacked out....! I could NOT believe it. I knew THEN that I had to decide if I was going to continue with living my life with no control or taking control of my destiny.
You can DO this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let this be the start of something great and wonderful for you.
A popular expression on 3FC is "A year from now, you'll be glad you started today."
Think about that in the opposite direction - where do you think you'll be a year from now if you don't keep going forward on your plan? Chances are very good that you might get on a scale and look back at 321 and think how much you wished that you were still at that number, because you'll be even higher. And the reality is that people don't get to be 250, 300, or more lbs because they are good at maintaining their weight, so probability is high that you would in fact gain.
But you have the power and ability to turn things around - you've already started! Keep going with the commitment you've made to yourself and when you look back in a year from now, you will be so pleased and proud of yourself, not to mention many, many pounds lighter and healthier.
You got started, which is a huge achievement. You had the courage to look at the scale after only one week, which is also a huge achievement. (It was a month before I felt up to buying a scale.) Yes, the number you saw there has given you a shock, but keep up with that courage of yours and keep going. When you've lost more weight, you'll be glad that you started weighing at the beginning, as you'll know (almost) exactly how much you've lost instead of having to make a wild guess at the starting figure. There's a subforum in the Support section for folks who weigh over 300lb, why not pop in there, get to know people, see how they're managing their weight loss journeys?
Meanwhile, do something that makes you happy, makes you feel good about yourself, and of course distracts you from this temporary panic. Put on a sexy top and look at yourself in the mirror, because after all you are no heavier than you were before and are probably a few pounds lighter. (I chose a top because it's useful if you don't like looking at anything below your head and shoulders in the mirror, and most of us appreciate the killer cleavage we get when we're overweight, but go for whatever clothing you feel good in.) Have fun with friends or your partner, if you have a partner. Don't binge, of course, but you might like to indulge in something very low-calorie such as a bowl of strawberries. Go for a walk somewhere beautiful. Listen to some music, watch a favourite old film or an entirely new one. You have started a wonderful journey, something which you are doing for you. Celebrate that.
I started out heavier than you are now. I know how scary it is to face that number but the number is just that - a number. It gives you handy reference point as you make your way on your journey but it doesn't define who you are.
It's definitely NOT pointless to keep trying. For me it helped to look at my weight loss in small chunks. I don't have to lose 170 pounds - I just have to lose 5 pounds. 5 little pounds - anyone can do that. Then when those 5 are gone, I'll work on the next 5. Doing that I've dropped 55 pounds - when I would have thought 55 pounds was too BIG for me to lose.
I still have a long way to go on my overall journey but I'm darn close to losing the last of the 5 that I'm working on right now! So just put one foot in front of the other and you'll be surprised how far you'll go!
I agree with what all the other folks are saying... there's no point in quitting now, because every single day that you continue, your life will be a little bit better than it is today.
And do give yourself a small goal to start with: like getting into the 200's again. You can probably be there in as little as 4-6 weeks if you have a lot of weight to lose and are serious about it! Wouldn't that feel great to know that by the end of November the scale will say something in the 200's?? Not so bad then, right??
Chin up, you can do it. Each day you wake up on plan, you'll feel it inside... hope for the future. Good luck!
I don't think I can add to the tremendous wisdom of the others who have posted. I just wanted to say that I sympathize with you. Something similar happened to me several years ago. Unfortunately, I was in shock but didn't do anything about it. Guess what? That shocking number on the scale got bigger because I didn't do anything about it.
Do not think about how far you have to go. Just take one day at a time. I like the previous poster's suggestion of just thinking of this in 5 lb. increments.
Also, don't let the shock and sadness you feel lead you to "punish" yourself with some over-restrictive diet. That usually only backfires.
As someone who has been successful at losing 80lbs and keeping it off for over 4 months now, I really wished that I had a starting number. 270 is a guesstimate because I avoided the scale, because I knew the number was always HUGE, and I would always weigh MORE, not less. It took me 3 weeks into my plan before I had the courage to look, and the scale read 266, so I use the 270 number as a guesstimate, but I'm sure it was higher. I really wish that I stepped on day 1 so I could know exactly how much I've lost. So I could pat myself on the back now.
I agree with all the previous posters on here who say that the starting number is just that: a number. You will not see it again, or anything higher, as long as you stay on plan. Keep going on your plan and set small, manageable goals for yourself.
I was like you, I HATED myself for letting myself get that huge. I was pissed off and ashamed. But, about 4 months into my journey I forgave myself. This was huge for me, and I wished I had done it earlier. It was very freeing, and I believe a big factor in letting myself heal mentally and it also aided me in continuing on my journey, and reaching my goal, which BTW, I haven't reached yet, but right now I feel like a million bucks already! So forgive yourself for the weight, and focus on taking care of yourself and your health!
My top known weight was 331 pounds. So when I say I understand. I mean I understand.
But, I have to ask... what does the number change for you?
You just spent a whole week doing some wonderfully healthy things for yourself. You were in the middle of making a great difference in the way you've been treating your body. You were eating better, yes? Healthier things, yes? Maybe you were getting in a couple extra steps, yes? You felt good about yourself and your efforts.
Then why give so much power to the number on the scale? A number, by the way, that was likely higher last week... but due to your AMAZING efforts and changes... has dropped and WILL CONTINUE to drop... if only you stick with it.
What does the number change?
Nothing! You want this, yes? You want this. You were making a difference before you even knew what that number was. Don't let that silly number stop you from continuing all the good things you've started.
Because that year is passing every single person on earth by no matter what we choose to do. But, we always have the choice on how we want to spend that year. Where do you want to be next October?
You can do this.
Last edited by Lovely; 10-11-2011 at 03:54 AM.
Reason: Derp. Spelling.
You know how on Facebook there is a "Like button?" I wish I could like every response here because they are all amazing!
You need to get over the shock and be kinder to yourself. What you experienced was a wake up call after the fact. You seem to be feeling like a week worth of dieting didn't make a dent because when you got on the scale, you didn't weigh "X", whatever "X" was going to represent as a success to you. You know what? You may have moved that scale number down 10 pounds last week but never knew it because you were too afraid to get on the scale in the first place.
You made a great effort and believe everyone, you lost weight last week but didn't have the proper gauge. Now you do. Now you know where square one is. Do yourself a favor and add 10 pounds to that figure and write it down as your starting weight.
Keep a record going forward from this week to next, and watch 321 turn into the 3teens, then the 3single digits. You are ONLY 22 pounds from the 200s.
Will you feel better in the 200s? Of course. Every "deca" we move into, we all feel better.
This round of dieting (and hopefully my last...I do realize I have to live this to maintain this) I started at 198. 198 is where I weighed in, like you, after I decided enough was enough and had already started to eat healthier. Most likely, I was 205ish when I started THIS journey before I had the courage to step onto the scale. So what?! I continued to work at it, even through some upsets, and the figure is moving downwards. Each bit of weight I lose, I only feel better and more confident that this is doable and sustainable.
Join me. Join us. You can do this! There is so much support and love here, even when you don't support or love yourself. That's what is so amazing about the wonderful people here at 3FC!!! Losing 22 pounds puts you into the 200s. You can do it. Make the 3teens your first goal. You can reach that in a cinch! Make the 3singledigits your second goal--its just around the corner. Make the 200s your third, and it is all a breezy downhill course from there. Seriously, YOU CAN DO THIS!
I am losing faith and I don't know where else to turn
