We are So Backwards as a Country!
 

It really astounds me how often people at work or in my family now comment on my eating habits.

I went out to dinner with my husband, my parents, and a mutual friend on Friday night. We went to PF Changs. PFC is family dining style, and so each plate (or at least the kung pao chicken I get) is 3 portions. I split the plate into three portions before I even begin eating, eat that and a bowl of brown rice, and I'm done.

Everyone at the table starts urging me to eat more! "Just eat it!" "Eat some more, that wasn't 1/3 of the plate!" My poor dad - who tries and fails to lose weight fairly often - said, "You can eat all you want of it! It's just chicken!" (News flash 3FCers: Apparently, chicken is calorie free! No matter how it's prepared! Eat up!)

Why do I say we're backwards as a country? I feel that the US is so accustomed to obesity at this point that being a healthy weight, eating healthy portion sizes is abnormal. No one ever said anything to me when I would wolf down all 3 portions and two bowls of brown rice at PFC previously.

Even after losing 43 pounds, it's hard for me to eat healthy portion sizes. Food sometimes is just so delicious that I continue eating because it tastes good, not because I'm still hungry. I'm slowly taming that beast, but people begging me to eat more doesn't help. It's been said on these boards before. You'd never tell an obese person, "Step away from the hamburger, fatty!" So why tell someone who is in the process of getting to a healthier weight to eat more? I know I'm preaching to the choir here. Just had to vent.

I have eaten at PF Changs, too. Didn't know about the 3 servings, though. When I eat at a retaurant I eat what I want and ask for a box to take the rest home. No one has ever commented on this, in fact it seems to be a very common practice, as I see people leaving restaurants carrying a box, all the time.

A M E N !!!!

That's it in a nutshell for me!!! I just keep reminding myself, with each day, every meal, every snack, every craving, "it's wonderful! it tastes so good! but I don't have to eat it all RIGHT NOW! I can save some for later! This is not the last time I'll ever have pie! There's no shame in an extra serving of sweet potatoes if I skip dessert!" etc, etc, etc.

And you're right - our country IS pretty backward. It's a shame how much portion sizes have increased over the past 40 years. Unreal, really.

And yet, it all comes down to one thing. Choices. Yup. Choices. :^:

I think it's often to ease their own guilt of eating what they want to eat.

But, being married to someone from a different country and from visiting other countries, I can say this. Shoving food in people's faces and trying to get them to eat more is even more pronounced in Europe and in Mexico. It's almost rude to say, "no thank you, I'm full." when you are a guest. They won't take no for an answer!

But, I also notice when we've traveled, that the sheer AMOUNT we eat at meals is like double what most of the locals eat/put on their plate when they are eating at home!

I've been having to deal with food pushers, too. It's so annoying! You're right, I never had anyone tell me not to eat more of something, even when I was obviously obese, no one had a care in the world, but now that I've made healthy changes and choices, I get people telling me to eat more, or that I shouldn't lose any more weight. I had someone try to push some cake on me this weekend; "It's just a little slice". Where was their concern when I was so unhealthy? It's mind boggling.

I totally agree with you, it's North America, we are an obese society. I hired a nanny from hong kong almost 2 years ago, she's Philipino, anyways, the first thing she noticed in Canada was how much food we have everywhere and how FAT everybody is! She still can't believe it, the majority of people are overweight, and very unhealthy. Even if you watch the food commercials, they make a MacDonalds burger the next best thing! And what scares me is that my kids watch this! It's an epidemic....and you know it feeds the economy....we are killing ourselves to run the economy! Literally!

I have to agree with Berryblondeboys, I do not see food pushing as limited to the US at ALL. It doesn't mean it's good anywhere, but this is not about the US being backwards, it's about the universal association of food with pleasure, love, etc. I think a big difference ends up being the KIND of food we eat - if you went to China, people there would not be eating the same fat and calorie filled kung pao chicken you were eating, regardless of the portion sizes.

FWIW, I also find that when I am more militant about things such as stating that I CAN'T eat something or making a big deal about splitting up a portion, people are more likely to react negatively and push me to eat more food than if I am more nonchalant and discreet about it and simply eat the amount I want to eat of the foods I choose to have without drawing extra attention to it.

I hate food pushers. I'm generally a patient person, but I've lashed out at friends/family who stepped over the line. It gets annoying; I've said no so leave me alone!

This weekend I think I lost count how many times I had to insist that I DIDN'T WANT ANY MORE. I'm sure, I'm really really sure—asking me 500 times is just going to piss me off!

It drives me crazy when I've finally gotten the motivation to be strong and conquer my obsession with food (for me, it's also about that taste, not so much nourishment before, but I'm working on that), and then I go have dinner with my parents or my sister or a friend and everyone is just pushing food on me from all directions! The waiter is waving desserts in my face, my mom is yapping about cheesecake, my sister is pretending to eat healthy by getting salad bar but putting the worst crap on it AND ordering appetizers and stuff, my friend has eaten a whole loaf of bread with WAY too much butter and is about to eat a plate of some kind of creamy sauces pasta that's enough to feed my fiance, my dad and I.. Really the only people who don't try to push food on me are my fiance and my dad. They've both done radical weight loss before and they know how hard it is when people are constantly telling you to eat something.

It's so defeating when I try to say no a whole bunch of times and they're still chipping away at me. I wish more places would offer some kind of fresh fruit only dessert- and actually have good produce.

UGH! /rant

i agree that people push food, but i think its something that just takes time for them to get over.
i was out to eat with family and some family friends once, and a family friend brought his fiance. I honestly don't know if she was trying to lose weight for the wedding or not, but we were at a mexican restaurant and when she got her burrito, the first thing she did was split it in half. another guy looked and her and goes "what, you aren't going to eat the whole thing" and in an excited voice she responded "no way im taking half of it home with me. everybody knows that leftovers from here are the best part" he nodded and went back to his own food. I honestly don't know if she was truly being enthusiastic about leftovers, or if she was trying to watch her portions, but ever since then i try to take that same approach. If i dont eat all of something, i dont give an suggestion related to my weight. instead i just suggest to them that i will finish the meal later, because it will taste awesome as my lunch tomorrow at work, or i have to work on homework and so im going to take these french fries to the library with me, something like that.
also, i think that it just takes time. some people do have to be told no a thousand times but if you dont get upset eventually they will stop being concerned about what you are and aren't eating, because its not worth it to hassle you.

i think portion sizes in restaurants are absurd, but i also think its absurd that so many people have the mentality that since that much food is on the plate, than its the restaurants fault if they over eat. a lot of people dont think to break up their food and save some for later, and then they get upset at the restaurant for serving so much food. There are a lot of servings in the bag of grapes in my fridge but i dont get mad at the produce department for giving me too many grapes all at once. lol
I think people need to take responsibility for themselves, and besides, i appreciate large portions because as a poor college kid, i always take home and eat leftovers.

That made me LOL... and, oh, how i wish... ha.

Anyways, I totally get you. I've had, already once today, people stop me and ask if I'm 'getting enough nutrients' and 'are you SURE youre done?' and then then kind of tilt their head and look concerned, lol... Stop.

I have had to have sit-downs with a few close peeps to let them know, really, its okay, knock it off! :D

The portions are quite large - particularly the cups for soda. The US small is equivalent to a Europe XL.

But, Europe is catching up.... obesity really is an epidemic - except where they are starving.

Oh - I despise food pushers. Ignoring them works better than arguing/talking back.

I'm not a poor college kid any more but a poor recent graduate and I too appreciate large portion sizes because I have lunch for the next few days sometimes! :D I wish I had practiced this in college....I would have saved so much money!!

Recently I went to a diner and ordered a panini. It was RIDICULOUSLY HUGE. One quarter of it was more than enough of a meal for me, and luckily I was with my fiancee who could care less how much I eat so I didn't hear any comments. It was great though, I had lunch for the next three days.

Trust me, food pushers and overeaters don't just exist in the states. ;)

GIL is notorious for this and will actually cry (or get close to it) if I don't eat what she seems a healthy portion! As in 5 bowls of food (with no veggies in sight). She was so upset before my wedding because I lost MASSIVE amounts of weight (not due to dieting but I was really, really sick) and she kept telling me to eat even though we explained to her many times that I couldn't due to being ill! :dizzy:

I just ignore it. Really, that's all you can do.

My in-laws visited this weekend and there was a lot of talk about weight loss, calorie counting, and exercise because both DH and I have lost quite a bit since we saw them last where as the in-laws have both gained. It was great, though, because they were really listening to us and we discussed some of the healthier choices we've made. For instance, the type of bread they buy is 150 calories/piece and they eat about 3 pieces (easily) and it doesn't fill you up at all (white bread). The type we buy is a 12grain bread that is 45 calories/piece and you really can feel full making a sandwich out of that.

While everyone knows that you're supposed to eat less, move more. Putting that into practice is HARD because you don't know the right choices and like your father you might assume something is healthy so you can eat it in whatever amount you want. Education is so important when it comes to serving sizes, calories, what foods fill you up etc. However, most people really don't know much about these things (myself included until about a year ago ;) ).

Yes, I think we are more "advanced" because we got off on the obesity trend long before the rest of the world. Now Europe, China and India are playing catch-up.

I'm stealing this line!!


Yes to this too! Now that DH and I have drastically cut back on our portion sizes we find that one pizza can last our entire family two meals. Before we were ordering two pizzas and that was lasting one meal! :dizzy:

I don't have problems at all with the portion sizes but you have to be aware of what you're eating. I actually like the left overs because we save money and we get another meal or two out of it, so less cooking for me! :D

I cannot stand food pushers, food criticizers, and food yackers. You don't need to tell someone how much to eat, what to eat, or tell everyone why you're eating something unless someone asks. It's just rude.

Overall though, it's best to let it roll off your back. It can be exciting, in a frustrating way, to have people tell you to eat more when you know they were staring at you thinking "step away from the burger, fatty" when you were heaver.

I think that excitement is what riles us up even worse. Just let it go. You know what's best for you, and if you don't, it's on you anyway :p

It has made me think, though, as an overweight person myself (have been most of my life)...it's going to be strange to be a healthy weight and see all of these overweight and obese people. I didn't fit in when I was fat as a teen, now everyone seems to be!! Sad indeed.

I know how you feel!!! I was on a specific plan too, and people at home (My mum) was like, here have some homemade brown soda bread, sure its healthy its homemade, it would be better than most things to eat, even with jam on it! Or I measure the amount of potato I am allowed, and people are like, here, sure its only potato its fine, theres no sauce, have more, or else measure how much you are allowed, serve it, and people look and say, sure that will hardly fill you up, thats not enough of a dinner for you !!

Just stick to your guns, and know yourself its all for a good reason in the end!

Personally I tried to avoid these restaurant trips etc myself for a few months at the start and stuck more or less religiously to the plan I had. But then it may be considered a recluse method, I just knew myself, if faced with temptation, The temptation would probably win in my eyes! lol. But its not a lifestyle - staying in and not socialising, I just used it as a kickstart at the beginning.

Maybe it comes from when we are young, and told, eat all your dinner etc to grow big and strong?!! Are we still eating to become bigger and stronger or when does this stop?!!

I don't know.. Coming from Europe myself, I never see obese people on the street or wherever. I see overweight people all the time now. But never like morbidly obese. I think it comes down to all the choices we have now (most of them coming from the West, in very flashy packaging, processed beyond tasteful recognition). When I was a kid (growing up in socialism) we went to the store, we had like three choices of candy and chocolate, a few choices of dairy products, fresh white bread, seasonal&local veggies and fruit etc. There was not a lot of low fat, whole wheat, vegan, microwaveable, processed things from the other side of the world that you could buy. AND EVERYONE WAS SKINNY!! We were not like poor or anything. We would eat home made fries with eggs all the time and white bread with butter AND jam that had too much sugar in it, or maybe some spaghetti with meatballs, and vanilla puding for desert after.. My point is, nobody really cared about nutrition values or portion sizes, of course we ate salad and fruit, but I don't remember one single time someone mentioned how much calories some dish had. And everyone was super thin (for us this was 'normal' at the time). Now everyone is overweight (Yes, Europe is catching up very quickly with you) and all we talk about is calories, nutrition, fat content, aspartame, whole grain, bla bla bla.. It's just sad how we ruin our society with this S**T we don't need.. I really don't get it. We got so spoiled (addicted) with this processed crap they sell us.. Do you think there is like a Dr.Evil living on some island watching the world go to s*** with his master plan of getting everyone to just die of fatness? I mean.. It must be some scheme or else we are all just plain stupid.. Or just selfish?

i eat just because it taste so good i dont want to stop i am also trying to get a handle on that. (not working yet) They do that cause they love you and they dont see it in the eyes of they person who has worked so hard to drop the weight like you have!

You know whats even more odd? When you've made a salad. A SALAD--and someone comments....WOW THAT'S A HUGE SALAD...how can you eat all that? OMG, its a salad. It's not like I've served up in a ten gallon hat! :)

There's like 2 to 3 ounces of protein, and the rest of it is fresh veg with 1 or 2 tsps. of olive oil and some vinegar. How can I eat all that? I'm hungry, and its low in calories, high in fiber, nutritious, healthy, fills me up. How can you eat that Sub Sandwich? Burger & Fries? 4 slices of pizza? KFC chicken meal? etc., ad nauseum. This happens in the lunchroom at work, where you kind of expect to be safe from comments when you're brown bagging your own! And the worst of it? Its usually someone in worse shape than you saying it!!! ;)

It's the same in all of Asia too. Holy canoli.

Here in India, obesity and morbid obesity are everywhere. And a lot of it stems from the cultural importance of eating seconds and thirds until you feel like you want to die.

It really sucks having to tell someone over and over that you don't want anymore. And when they push you feel so pressured, especially when I'm around my family. But you just have to stand your ground and try and ignore them or tell them that they are making you uncomfortable.

I totally agree. Giving me advice on what to eat and saying I'm making the wrong choices. Wow. Really? Making the wrong choices? I just lost over 30 pounds, excercise, count calories, drink water and much more :( what do I know? :dizzy:

Same thing happens to me all the time! It is actually so annoying that I try to get out of going to restaurants with my family! Although it doesn't seem like such a bad thing, Its hard when its your mothers birthday and all she wants is to splurge and eat everything in sight! The last time we were out at a Italian restaurant I let myself have pasta BUT I split it up into 3 portions for home and ate the fourth. When I asked the waitress to pack mine up since its very hard to not have those couple extra bites when its just sitting in front of you. My mom flipped out on me in the middle of everything! She said
"Your skinny and only 21! That pasta will burn right up when you simply walk to the car. I can't believe your doing this on my birthday, making me look like a fat pig in front of everyone for eating my whole meal! Do me a favor and just eat what you ordered"

Can you believe that! I was in such shock that I just sat there and said nothing the rest of the meal. She did however apologize early saying that she knew how hard I was working and was sorry for her out burst. Still holy crap, its crazy when people get noticeably upset when you eat the amount your actually suppose to as opposed to the amount they want you to.

What is really weird is when people grumble about the obesity epidemic and made snide remarks about other people's weight (particularly strangers, celebrities or someone in the street or what have you, but sometimes someone closer to home), and then they try to push food down you. Look at the comments section whenever a newspaper is running an article on obesity, it's always full of people being b1tchy about those who are overweight, but I bet you most of those commenters will happily try to push someone into eating more.

This is so true!! People will push you to eat more and more, people will encourage you to eat whatever junk they have around. If you eat "too healthy" people are critical of it. If you eat junk food, they are also critical about it.

I hate eating around the break room at work for this reason! People will be the first one to talk about whatever diet they are on, what diet so & so is on and who is losing weight the best... Its frustrating. People are aware that I am changing my habits and they know that one of the things I am doing is juicing. But if I come into that break room and I'm eating some shrimp and not some juice - I will hear about it my entire lunch hour!

UGH!

One thing I know for sure - no one is ever going to be happy with us. We will either eat too much, too little, too healthily or too unhealthily... Just do whats good for you and stick to your guns!!

I know how frustrating it is. My husband (who could lose about 30lbs himself) went to culinary school. He gets offended if we don't eat his food and makes fun of my 13 yr old when she eats such little portions. I know he doesn't mean any harm, but she is eating the correct amount. She has also lost about 30 lbs since the beginning of summer and hasn't really tried. She just doesn't eat as much. I have always been overweight and I don't want to see my kids go through that. My 8yr old and my 16yr old are both overwieght. My oldest struggles, but has found a love for food. My 8yr old will tell me he wants seconds and I tell him, "you are not still hungry, it just tastes good." I agree with you that this has become the norm. Nobody eats for nurishment anymore. It is all about pleasure. Hard to overcome that, but it is possible.