My mom and I swap clothes a lot. She used to always give me the clothes that were too big on her. When I went down to a 12, I loved this because it was the start of the summer and I had only a few things to wear! She then gave me a few 10s, but now I've gotten down to around the same size as her or smaller so I can't get her old clothes anymore. I've actually given her a few of my clothes that are too big on me! She generally likes her pants looser than I do, so my pants that are too big fit her nice.

We both don't really mind because ...Hey! free clothes! But this is my mom, it's a lot easier to offer her clothes than it is a friend or coworker. I have so many nice, designer plus size clothes that I'm sure someone would love, but I don't know how to ask someone if they would want them. It just seems kind of insulting, even though I know I have a few friends that would appreciate them (i.e. I've got a lot of business wear in 14/16 that would probably help some friends still in college and trying to get internships)

I wish someone would offer me their fat clothes though! I should ask my friend, I believe she's gotten down to about a size or two smaller than me so she might have some clothes she would just otherwise throw out.

I wish someone would offer me free clothes! I have such tough time finding anything that fits me locally and I have very few outfits that I can actually wear. Unfortunately, all my friends who live nearby are probably about a size 2 (not counting the pregnant ones who are still pretty small!) so, yeah, not going to happen.

I did have a friend a few years ago offer me some of her fat clothes. Yeah, it stunk at the time because she was in the process of losing weight and I wasn't there yet BUT it really appreciated the new clothes. It certainly saved me some money.

I have a lot of clothes now that I can't wear anymore, some nice ones that I wish I had a good place to rehome them. I'll probably end up taking them to a consignment shop eventually and trying to sell them but I'd rather give them to a friend who could use them.

I love people's clothing castaways! I was losing so quickly, and didn't keep ANYTHING from when I was smaller, so I had zip, zero, zilch. It was so expensive to get new things, and goodwill didn't have much to choose from.

I had a friend who lost a loy of weight and gave me some of her old clothes. It was awesome, and now I have outgrown them, too!

I remember when I was just barely 20 and I just got a new job as a cashier and there was a woman who worked in the back who had apparently lost alot of weight well, she was talking to the cashier next to me and she was talking about all these clothes she had that were way to "huge" for her so she says they would probably fit her, meaning me and the other cashier looked over at me in horror and I smiled and said I appreciate the offer but since your about 30 years older than me I doubt they would be my style.

Im 44 now and this is still pretty fresh in my mind so obviously it had an effect...lol...So please be gently dont refer to them as your fat clothes

It's funny how some of us appreciate things while others of us feel insulted. I can see both POVs!

As for me, I never say no to free clothes (free anything is good!!!!) but my BFF once PUSHED a pair of "skinny jeans" on me ("oh, I'm sure they'll fit you! they're too big in the hips for me"!) and I kept saying no, no, no because (a) skinny jeans IMHO are meant for SKINNY people, I mean REALLY skinny people! - and (2) I could tell by looking at them that I wouldn't get them on past my knees! - but she KEPT.ON.INSISTING! - so finally I tried them on, and just as I'd suspected, nope - not past the knees. Made me feel even fatter than I was at the time!

however... she & I often "switch" clothes, I give her stuff, she gives me stuff. We have a lot of the same tastes style-wise, and then other stuff...um, not so much LOL. And even tho we are the basically the same size - same height, weight (give one or two pounds) and only 6 years apart in age, we have VERY different bodies. She is wide through the shoulders & much bigger breasts than me, and I have hips & an a** whereas she simply has the noass'a'tall disease. I have "weight lifters" legs, and she has skinny "runners" legs.

But I say "hey! free is free!!!!" - and I gladly take freebie clothes! Unless they're ugly as sin.

A stylish older lady offered me all of her "fat" business wear she had not only lost 50 pounds but had retired and no longer needed them!
I felt extremely lucky! Name brand suits (think DKNY) Now they look like trash on me and I don't even work anymore. I'm going to donate them to dress for success.
Don't be too down about it, soon you will have to pass the "fat" clothes along as well.

99% of my clothes are somebody else's castaways. I love getting those clothes. I don't have a lot of money, and heck I shop at Goodwill and consignment places anyway. I have changed size pretty drastically in the past year so anything that can fit me or will fit me in the near future is welcome here...fat or skinny! And if I have something nice that does not fit me anymore, I love to give it to someone I know and I have done that both ways-when I was too fat or too skinny. Once I had a great pair of jeans that I just couldn't wear anymore because I got way too fat for them. I gave them to my girlfriend that I knew was slightly smaller than me and they fit her like a dream! Also, I have a wonderful dress from Torrid, and I hope I can find someone who would love it as much as I did because it is in excellent shape and it made me feel like a million dollars. I know the emotional impact of receiving a person's fat clothes could be overwhelming to some, but without the kindness of strangers, I might be running around naked. :/

Thinking about this some more. I think one major reason people offer clothes is because they are so expensive. And they really want to see someone they care about get good use out of them. Also if I know someone is on the weight loss journey I know that they aren't going to want to spend a lot on "In between" sizes. So I am happy to give them if I have them. And if they don't fit (too big or small) maybe they could trade them.

Ohh also edited to say. Lately I have been shopping thrift (you can find nice stuff if you are patient) and I will donate them back when I am done.

One thing I do with a group of my lady friends that takes away any chance of offending anyone- make it into a party! We get a group of 5-10 women together, have some lunch, throw everyone's unwanted clothes on a rack and everyone goes to town. It's so much fun!

That sounds very fun, wickedlady!

Mt mom and sister are also currently losing weight and I asked them both for the clothes that are too big for them now. I am the biggest and have been since we have all been adults (actually prob since I was about 17 or so) When I was at my mom's a few weeks ago she had some size 14 pants that were falling off her and she gave them to me. At first I was afraid to try them on as I didn't think they would fit me but when I finally did not only did they fit well but they looked good!

I agree with other posters about one's goal weight being another's starting weight. I am also really working on self love and self acceptance and coming to the realization that how much I or anyone else weighs and the size of the clothes says nothing about who they are as a person.

I think it really depends on the relationship, the relative sizes of the people, and the style of the clothing.

I have a really good friend who is also in the process of losing weight. She's across the country right now, but has a ton of stuff in storage nearby. She's offered me the use of her 18/20s when I get there. I appreciate it, but I'm not likely to take her up on the offer. We have somewhat different styles--not radically different, but somewhat different. We also have completely different coloring, so a lot of her stuff is probably in colors I can't wear.

More realistically, she's a few inches shorter than I am. I suspect that pants that she likes are going to be shorter in the leg than I like. And, finally, I'd just feel weird going through my friend's clothes! But I don't know how to say "no", because I don't want it to feel like a personal rejection.

It's a minefield. That being said, when my ex-husband started transitioning, she certainly had no problem ransacking my clothes. I was ticked at the time, but now, I'm mostly just glad that someone is getting use out of them, seeing as I've outgrown the rave pants/corset phase.

One of my best friends is four inches shorter than me, and has about 75lbs on me. At least. Shes always been much larger than me, even when I was my biggest at 200lbs. Do I care? Normally, no. Shes a lovely person and what she weighs, aside for my concern for her health, is no matter to me.

Except she offers me her clothes all the time and I am always declining based on the style, the color, the cut...anything other than the (hopefully) obvious fact that she is considerably larger than me and the clothes wouldn't fit. Because the only time I did mention that they may not fit me correctly, she said "oh, you're right. my butt is way smaller and my boobs are bigger"

It is really insulting to me that she apparently thinks we are the same size. Ya know, except for her way smaller butt.

My point is, people don't always have the most empathetic, even realistic, views of their own actions. Is offering someone your "fat clothes" the most tactful route to take? Obviously not. But it is still a kind action...just like my friend offering me her clothes. Its just that the negative implications of the presentation can overshadow the generosity.

I think it's really crazy and horrible that size is seen as so horrible that it's ok and even flattering if someone smaller than us thinking they are our size or bigger, but it's not ok if someone larger than us thinks they're the same size or smaller.

There was a makeover show on not long ago that would make the featured women estimate their body size by putting themselves in a line-up of smaller and larger women, and almost universally the featured women estimated wrong in the fatter direction. I began to wonder whether the women did it on purpose out of fear of the stigma of picking "too small."

There was also a research study that found that of average weight women, the women with the best self esteems were the most accurate in the estimation of their body size and shape - whereas of plus-sized women the women with the best self esteems consistently underestimated their body size. One of the theories put forth by the researchers was that "fat" was so stigmatized that the best coping strategy fat women had, was perhaps denial.

When I was working, I was once complaining about finding nice, affordable business clothes "when you're fat." And my coworker blurted out, "you're not fat," and I burst out laughing - hysterically (on what planet is nearly 400 lbs, not fat). She snapped angrily, "you know what I mean!"

And I did, sadly. Fat is such a horrible and evil concept in our culture, that an intelligent, friendly, funny woman like me couldn't possibly be fat, so I had to be something else (and my favorite punchline to this story is that I'll slap anyone who says it's "fluffy").

I don't like euphemisms for fat, but I do accept most of them our of social courtesy (except for fluffy - I am not a sheep).

What I do hate is the untrue assumptions about fat and fat people, and the huge social taboo against underestimating my own size in comparison to others - and even the expectation that I must pretend that I'm larger than I am - and the expectation that others must pretend I'm smaller than I am.

Ideally I wish there weren't so much emotional baggage and social pressure against the social sin of making a mistake in underestimating one's own size or overestimating someone else's.

I know it's a social taboo that many people accept wholeheartedly, but things would be so much easier if we didn't have to be afraid of comparing ourselves to others, and possibly even being "wrong" without the risk offending others.

But that's the reason that giving clothing is so taboo - because the risk and consequences of being wrong are so great. If we overestimate the person's size or underestimate our own, it's a social crime of the century, and if we actually use words that reference size, it's essentially unforgiveable.

Heck, most of what we discuss on this site would be unacceptable in the real world.

Kaplods, I almost always cut the tags off my clothes not because I care what they say but because they drive me crazy and cause me itching and discomfort. I wish manufacturers would simply stamp the size and brand name on the actual clothes....some do that but most don't.

I have lots of clothes that are too big and I just keep them. I've donated in the past only to regain so giving it away doesn't deter me from regaining. This time around, I'm hoping that keeping them will deter me from gaining. I do have a very good friend who started the weight loss journey at the same time as I and she has regained a whole lot but I don't dare offer her my clothes for fear of offending her. If she wants, she can ask me and I'd be happy to give her some great stuff.