I hate feeling obligated to eat something so I don't. I probably have 1 cupcake a year and it is really when I want it, not when someone else wants me to have it. I have no problem saying no thank you to cake.

I have been doing my best to avoid sugar (though lately, it's no been working out as well...) Anyways, last year for my birthday we had sugar free cheesecake from Cheesecake factory and it was fabulous. Could you put in a request for something like that? I LOVE baking cakes for people, and most importantly, I love baking cakes that people love. Some people love chocolate cake, some people love yellow, some people love sugar free. I think that could be a workable option for you if you choose to have cake.

I can't thank you all enough for all of yall's input! Really helped me!! Wonderful suggestions! We're having fruit on the side with the cake, so I'm going to go through the blowing out the candles, etc and cut myself a tiny piece with the fruit on the plate too. I'm just going to eat the fruit! =)

I always have people celebrate my birthday with cake, even though I never eat it, and never have - I don't like it! It's been probably 25 years since I've eaten a piece of my birthday cake, and that was only because my mom made me homemade German chocolate cake when I requested it as a five year old :)

Nobody is offended, especially when they're having cake and you're genuinely showing appreciation for it.

Cake makes everyone happy!

Just my two cents, it's your birthday, have a small piece...but also tell yourself that one small piece doesn't mean you can wash it down with another small piece, or a dozen hot wings, or whatever ;).

I like the advice that you blow out the candles, and then cut and distribute the cake, and then chat and stuff. That might get people to not notice you not eating any.

I really hate talking about what I'm eating/not eating. A few people in my family get... weird about it. So I try to draw as little attention to my food habits as possible.

My family seems to be more flexible with the desserts than yours, but maybe this might work. I don't like cake most of the time (just not my dessert), so I have a cake for others and then something else for anyone who's not inclined toward cake (like me). My favorite is cold, sliced pineapple (so good!), but you could also do a sugar free pie, if you want.

Or you could have the ingredients for like a strawberry short cake and then just help yourself to fresh strawberries. I think there are sugar free whipped toppings that are sold. I've never tried them, but you could have that as an option to put on the strawberries to blend in more.

Happy Birthday! And good luck! You're going great!