I've been trying to find a consistent meal plan, because I would be willing to stick to it. Literally eat the same thing every day every time of day for a while, but it's been hard.

I don't know if I would be open to intermittent fasting, as it seems my body does need food regularly. I do, however, think I have an irrational fear of feeling sick/hungry.

When I was obese I had pretty troubling issues with nausea, dizziness, cold sweats, and irritability that I attributed to blood sugar instability (no doctor, can only use common sense). I think that traumatized me into obsessing over how I felt before and after eating and in between.

I think I need to just see what would happen if I didn't eat something every 3 hours (sometimes less, I'm seriously considering what to eat next in under 2 hours sometimes.)

I totaly understand you!!
I'm very organised and plan things all the time, but the one thing I can not do, is plan my diet anymore. Too much wasted time, too much stress if it's not how I imagined it, too much thinking about when where how.. It was just getting the best of me. I was obsessed. If it wasn't a perfect clean day then I would just spiral into a binge.. Not healthy..
Everyone is different, I think you should def try other things if you don't find this satisfying or even worse, a problem.. You are making this a way of life. You can't plan everything.. Sometimes you have a piece of cake, you eat out or just feel like you want some ice cream. You need balance and moderation. Not numbers and measurements.
I'm not sure how I got to this ''zen'' point regarding food, it was a lot of trial and error and I do occasionally fall off the wagon but it's never like it was before..
But I have to say, counting calories was good for me because I learned a lot and I can guesstimate and have some sort of perspective of how much I should eat.

Hi there! Just want to tell you that I can relate, big time! I have a "planning" personality anyway (with vacations, schedules, you name it). While the planning has been helpful, it does get old!

Mostly, though, I relate to being food obsessed still. I have a food problem, and I know it! Food is on the brain constantly. I've been really on track lately, but that nagging desire for food doesn't really go away. I just have an obsession with food - I think about eating, grocery shopping, cooking, snacks. It's just always on my mind.

If I keep things relatively the same, I don't have to think about them, which is what I do for the work week. I eat six times a day: three meals, three snacks. I pack lunch and my work snacks after work each day before I make dinner, and then pop my lunchbag in the fridge. I have a preschooler, so I do the same for her at the same time.

8:30am Breakfast is approx the same calories daily consisting of one high fiber under 100 calorie bread item (which I buy and have stocked in a variety of wraps, breads, bread rounds, etc), egg whites with spinach, tomato or no tomato, and 1/2 oz of neufchatel or goat cheese OR one piece of TJ turkey bacon.

11:00am Snack is one serving of fruit

1:30pm Lunch is one cup of homemade soup (I have a rotation of recipes that I know are roughly the same calorie content and I make a batch on the weekend and freeze in one cup portions. That's one time cooking for 6-12 servings of soup).

4:00pm Snack is a baggie of veggies and a serving of hummus (I have a little tupperware that is measured out and just fill it up every night when I get home).

6:30pm Dinner is much more flexible. (When I have time, I make low calorie meals that I freeze into portions. Other than that, I have an arsenal of easy 10-15 minute recipes).

9:00pm Snack is usually 2 cups of popcorn or a frozen banana blended with 1/2T peanut butter, or a piece of dark chocolate, or wasa and cheese, or many others. It depends on my mood and my calories left.

I guess it really is just a product of making this huge lifestyle change...just like any other (marriage, new job, new town, etc)...there are so many unexpected obstacles/perks that come with the changes, and it's sometimes hard to let go of how you reacted before.

Plus, your motivation can kinda run you over, I think. You get so excited to finally have the weight monkey off your back you become obsessed.

I need to learn to not fear mild over eating and mild under eating. Those are my biggest fears with dieting! A couple hundred calories too much or too little once in a while won't put the 95lbs back on me, or make me fall into hypoglycemic shock...so I can relax a bit. It's not forever, but for now, while I'm so frazzled.

Munchy, coincidentally, I just made a schedule for my food to take the pressure off a bit. I feel more at ease already.

Breakfast: lean turkey sausage and two eggs or a protein bar and fruit
Snack: I will make hummus and pair with celery
Lunch: spinach salad with beans and vegetables, a protein source (crab, chicken) and quinoa
Snack: tuna and green beans
Dinner: a protein source (fish, chicken) and ratatouille or a protein bar on school nights
Snack: SF pudding

And there I go. Leave it at that, maybe stop treating the diet like nuclear physics.