A Third of the Way... [NSV, emo]
 

So, as of yesterday, I'm at 290 pounds. As I've determined that my starting weight was around 360--I started my plan at the end of February, but didn't step on the scale until early/mid-April, and that was at 346--this means that I'm officially a third of the way to goal.

I should be elated. I should be thrilled, really; I feel much healthier than I did six months ago. I have a lot more energy, my mood swings--which are legion, and legend--are a lot better. I've gone from a 28-but-sometimes-28s-are-too-tight to a very comfortable 24, and a slightly-snug-but-still-on 22. This weekend, when my cousin came over for dinner at my mom's, he actually blurted out, "you look so thin." That was really awesome.

The thing is, though, I'm not. Running is still pretty much out of the question; I tried it a couple of times last week, only to be rewarded by my first-ever knee twinge, which scares the heck out of me. Clothing shopping, while much easier, still doesn't give me a whole lot of awesome options. I'm solidly in the sequins and foil section at most stores.

And, really, while I can see the difference when I think about it--my knuckles and my elbows and my knees and my ankles are sharper, I have the beginnings of a waist, and my stomach no longer warps light around itself--I still don't think I look good. I mean, obviously I'm still close to three-hundred. And, as much as I adopt a devil-may-care persona online (and especially here!) I get self-conscious. My arms look pretty awful. My stomach still outclasses my breasts (not that my breasts are any slouches, mind you!). I still look pretty awful in a swimsuit.

Fitness hasn't done many favors for my hair, either. It's always back in a ponytail. I get paranoid that it's getting thinner, except for when I let it dry *not* in a ponytail, and I realize that it's still thick and wavy and insulation-y. So while I feel better, I don't feel as though I look better.

And while seventy pounds in six months is impressive, it's only a third of the way. I've got to go through this twice more before I'm at goal, and it feels like it's been ages. I'm not quite sure of how I should get over this malaise, though God knows I will. I just needed to vent.

I feel your pain my dear but know that u are getting healthy! Go for it girl!

First, congrats on how far you've come. That's a really major achievment. 70 lb is extremely impressive, no matter how long it took you, but especially in only 6 months. And your NSVs are major too. You have a lot to be proud of.

Second, I get it. I really do. I'm at about my 3rd of the way mark, too. I know there have been changes. I'm in smaller clothes. My measurements are smaller. I can see that there's less gut. But I still feel like I look a lot more like what I did look like than I do like I want to look like. And it's a long road ahead. All we can do is just keep slogging down it.

Look at you go!!!!! I bet your before/now pictures are awesome! If you haven't already looked you should try to find some before pictures to help you see the wonderful difference!

Aren't you glad you started 6 months ago rather than waiting until now to start. Imagine how happy you'll be 6 months from now that you continued!

That's right, you are! And you're right that you have a long way to go! But what else would you do? The time will pass no matter what, and during that time you can be losing more weight, eating better, feeling better--or you can decide it's "no use" and stop. Where will that get you?

So stay with it, and don't be in such a hurry. Yes, it's hard, but many things in life are challenging. No, you won't be able to run next week, and it's better that you don't try. There are plenty of exercises that are low-impact and will still help you increase your fitness.

Remember, this isn't a sprint to the finish line, it's more like a distance run. You have to pace yourself so you can make it all the way.

Hang in there! You are really doing great!

Jay

Gabe

A big :congrat: on reaching the one third mark!! An awesome accomplishment
in six months. You obviously have a great plan, stick with it and before you know it you will be telling us you are at the half way mark!

You are not alone. I can't run either, in my case it is because of severe hip and knee arthritis, but I have found that it is not necessary to run to lose weight and get in better shape. Walking works also!!

You are doing great. :hug:

Larry,

Wow, just wow! 70lbs in 6 months is AMAZING. I've been at this for much longer than a year and have lost 60lb in that time frame so I'm seriously impressed!

Also that's a big jump in clothing sizes! If you're in 22's, I imagine you can already find some cute clothes at Lane Bryant and that's really not that much farther up from 18's and 16's where many of the non-plus-sized clothes start so you're actually pretty close!

Running will come. I actually can't run anymore because of my knees and that doesn't really have much to do with my weight at all. But I CAN lift weights, swim, walk etc. I think it's important to focus on what you can do right now and find something that you really enjoy to keep you enthused.

As for your hair... have you been to a hairdresser recently? They might give you some ideas. I've had a few relatives who have gone through chemo and while they didn't lose all their hair it thinned out quite a bit. Their hairdressers all knew some tricks on how to deal with it.

Good luck and keep up the awesome work!!! BTW, I get the body images. I've been through them too. Progress pictures, shopping, getting compliments, taking measurements have all helped me a lot.

It's a whole lot better to be close to - but below! - 300 than it is to be inching up on 400! I do get your frustration - I started off lower than you but higher than many people and lots of people have lost less than I have but are at or much further along to their goal. That's just the nature of the beast.

Where you are today is better than where you were 6 months ago, and in 6 more months, you'll be able to look back again and be that much better off in terms of health and comfort level in your body. You will probably even be able to start running by then if that's something you want to do. And I can tell you that at your same height and just under 220 right now, the difference in how I feel from 40 lbs ago is amazing. I'll be honest, I do not think I look good yet but I definitely look BETTER and that's good enough for now.

So try to take the pride you deserve in how far you've come and don't lose sight of that just because your journey isn't over yet.

DO NOT GIVE UP! You will always be the hardest judge of yourself and always want to lose more weight & you will!! I totally understand how awful it is to feel self conscious but think about how much worse you would feel if you fell off the wagon, went back to your old ways and gained it all back.

70lbs is a HUGE achievement!!! Thats insanely commendable and you should be SO PROUD of yourself!! Just keep going and keep losing and soon you'll be running. Just remember every step you take and every healthy bite is your ticket closer to higher confidence and the healthier you, you want to be!

You will probably judge yourself for a long time but just keep taking the compliments from your friends and family, I bet you look amazing!! And never ever ever EVER give up! You have come too far now! Keep going!!!!!

70 lbs is awesome! Get some gallon jugs. Fill them with water. They each weigh 8.34 lbs. You have lost 8 of those already! Realize how fantastic that is for your health and every day life and keep at it. Time really isn't important, good eating and good exercise is.

Gabe, everyone else has already said so much, and I agree with all of it - you are doing amazingly well. Keep at it - I promise you will keep feeling better and time will go by quickly as it always does.

In case it helps, I will add some of my own experiences. I started where you are now, so in that sense I had it a little easier. But I have been at this for two full years now - that's how long it took me to lose 100 pounds. Still, it wasn't until I'd gotten down around 200 pounds that I really started to feel like a new person.

I thought I would never be able to run - I never even considered it as a viable form of exercise for myself, concentrating instead on lifting and on other forms of cardio, mostly elliptical. But when I got down to 200 pounds I found I was able to run a little. I have slowly built up stamina since then, and now I can run in intervals - part brisk walking, part running. But at my starting weight, which as I said is roughly where you are now, I could not have done that at all.

You have already done so much for yourself - losing more weight than most people will ever manage to lose. If you have access to a gym, go pick up a 70 pound dumbbell, and imagine yourself hauling that around all day. Even if you don't feel fit yet, you have already done a great service to your heart and to your joints. And it will only get better with time.

So just keep at it. 6 months is so little time in the grand scheme of thing - and in another 6 months, or a year, or beyond, if you keep going, you will get there, and you will feel like a new person. Just be a little patient with yourself and with your process.

[QUOTE=runningfromfat;4024039]As for your hair... have you been to a hairdresser recently? They might give you some ideas. I've had a few relatives who have gone through chemo and while they didn't lose all their hair it thinned out quite a bit. Their hairdressers all knew some tricks on how to deal with it./QUOTE]

My hair isn't actually thinning--it just looks sort of crappy being in a ponytail all the time. If I dry it out of the ponytail, it becomes apparent that I have too much hair.

And thanks everyone. I think about the weight I've lost whenever I bring in the cat litter, or struggle with a huge bag of groceries. I can't imagine carrying that around all the time, even though I obviously did.

I know it's a long-term thing, and I'm not going to go off plan. I can't even conceive of it as an option. This is how I am now, and this is how I eat and how I live, and that's just. . .immutable, really. But, man, those days when I want to run, and I try, and my body screams and my lungs burn and I spend the next two hours wheezing (mild asthma ftw!), it's just. . .gah.

But I swim, and I walk, and I do weights three times a week. Though swimming is off for the moment, as the tendon in my right shoulder has been noisily registering a complaint.

[QUOTE=Gabe;4024373]Gotcha, sorry about the confusion! In that case what about doing a variation on a ponytail. Try braiding your hair, or twisting your hair up and fixing it with a clip+bobby pins. You could also twist the front of your hair and push it forward to add a bit of height while keeping the ponytail or leave down a few strands of hair in front and curly them.

I hope a few of our biggest losers still here on the site will chime in, but I'm sure they can relate. It is hard when you have been plugging away for a long time and having great success to see in the mirror the journey that still lays ahead. But, as I remind myself, I'll remind you.

You probably didn't go from 150 to 360 in 7 months or 1 year or probably 2-3 years, so it's OK if it doesn't come off at lightening speed either. Progress is progress. Every pound lost makes it easier on your heart, joints, lungs, and even your brain.

And be it 10 pounds 100 pounds or 1000 pounds. It's a one day at a time journey. Just do what you can each and every day and try not to look at the future too much.

You are doing great. Plain and simple.

Congrats!! :woohoo: You've come so far! I can't top what others have said.They have said it all. You go girl!

I love that you brought up this topic. I feel like this too, even though I'm so glad to be where I'm at. I still can't run, but my endurance is slooooowly building. You will get there. I cant' wait to hear all about it when you do! Not much longer....

Keep up the good work!