What is wrong with me??
 

I have been utilizing this site for recipes/tips for about a year, but decided to register for the forum because I'm in need of some help.

Backstory: I'm 25, 5'7, and I weighed 280 in March, 2010. I had been well over 250 for a couple years. Hadn't been under 200 since I was 14!!! :o

Well, over the past 18 months, I have lost 93lbs and weigh about 187. My goal weight is 140, so I have a loooong way to go. In that time, I haven't had ANY fast food items besides low calorie Subway options. As a girl who used to sit in her car cramming down 4 McDonald's double cheeseburgers and 2 McChicken's on her lunch break, I'm proud of that fact.

Ok. For the past couple weeks, when left alone at work, I sneak in the candy bins (we use the candy as rewards for our kid clients) and have been eating candy bars! :o:o I'm totally mortified with myself, and I sit there, eating it, thinking "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???????" I just cannot stop.

Otherwise, I still eat fine, even with those candy bars I stay under 1600 calories daily, and I actually have lost weight :?: but I know these are bad, and I have PCOS/insulin resistance so this is a huge no no.


HELP! I need support/advice, and I know you guys are the best for help.

Cravings can be huge, and you have to find a way to deal with it that works for YOU.

I'll give you an example. I'm not suggesting you do this, but it works for me. I was drinking alcohol. Not getting drunk, but I liked to have a drink or two every night. I don't like to get buzzed or drunk, so I think what I was actually craving was the alcohol sugars because when I'd decide to quit drinking what would happen is I'd start eating sweets instead. What worked for me was to promise God that I would not drink alcohol or eat sweets because I know these are empty calories. I have a moderate faith and so to me the idea of breaking a promise to God would be a big no-no. And for me, it works. In fact, the cravings don't even happen, it's like because I know it's not an option I simply don't crave it anymore. So each time I'm struggling with a lifestyle change, I use my promise-to-God method. I keep my changes one month at a time so that I don't make it a promise I can't continue.

Another thing that has been helping me lately is joining accountability groups. I recently re-started P90X and to stay motivated I watch the success stories on YouTube, and participate in 3 accountability threads (two on a forum and one on Facebook). I find that simply telling someone I'm going to do something makes me want to do it, so I don't feel like I fibbed.

When I first started it was hard to deal with the numerous candy dishes around the office! I decided every time I thought about them I would take a HUGE drink of water. It helped me up my water intake substantially ;). Now I am able to walk by the dishes and know I don't want them now.

I don't think it's the craving that you have to fight, it's the convenience of having them right there. If you have an old picture of you at your highest weight maybe you should keep that visible for your own motivation.

:hug:

First off: Congratulations on your amazing progress!!!

So onto the meat of it:

Why are you going for them?

Are you bored? Lonely? Craving something sweet? Or is it just the fact that they're available?

Would telling yourself that those candy bars are NOT YOURS help any?

Flex your resistance! Tell yourself "no" one day... but have a non-food reward planned to reward yourself when you get through a week without touching the candy.

Thank you for this! I don't have a faith system, but you have me thinking. A reward system could help...maybe say I won't buy something or watch a movie I had planned unless I go the week without binge eating.

I should participate in the weigh-in threads here, thanks again!

Thank you!!
:( I have no before photos that show anything but my face. One of my biggest life regrets, honestly.

You're right about the water, I haven't had as much as I used to take in.

Thank you so much!

The why's: Extreme boredom at work, stress and anxiety from a crumbling home life, being hungry (I eat like 4-5 small snacks at work that add up to 500-800 calories and sometimes I'm still so hungry) and being alone in the office. I won't ever eat bad food in front of others. Good to know my triggers.

That's a good idea too, to say they're not mine to eat.

Ugh, it's so crazy, I'd done so well for so long and then I do this? I don't even WANT the candy bars, I'm eating them because they are there. If it was a basket of carrots I'd binge on those too.

Is your food plan too strict? Is it becoming boring? Do you have "diet fatigue"? Take a good look at it. Maybe your carbs are too low--and you can raise them slightly with complex carbs, not sugar. Maybe you aren't getting enough protein and you could increase that.

You need to decide that those candy bars are NOT YOURS to just take and eat. And they aren't yours, right? You're essentially stealing them. Make a pact with yourself that if you want a candy bar, you have to leave and go to a store and buy one, not eat the kids' candy when no one is around (as though that doesn't count).

But make sure you're getting enough nutrition otherwise.

Good luck!

Jay

Sounds like you know why you're doing this...convenience ad stress...which is completely understandable.

You need to find the power to say no and ask yourself "will gaining the weight back that I've worked so hard to lose help my stress level?"

I sound like a troll lol, the candy bars are for everyone's consumption, but you're right, they're not for my consumption. I have 50lbs to lose.

I thought of that too, I do have a really strict diet, mostly because of budgeting and needing to stay in a routine to prepare meals for work. I get at these impasses with my diet, and don't know what to eat.

It surely won't lol. I think making this thread will help, I really needed to confess it, in some ways. To openly address this issue, because I'm sneaking these and no one knows. I could even pretend I didn't know. But if I put my feet to the fire and admit I'm doing this, maybe I can stop.

One thing that might help is to issue yourself a command and then forbid all discussion.

Tell yourself: I will not eat the candy bars at work--and really mean it.

And then when you find yourself thinking, 'Hm. I'd like some chocolate. Surely I can have one snickers without ruining my diet. You know, they're really not that bad and calories don't count when no one sees you eating them...etc, etc."

Then you tell yourself NO.

When the thoughts come back again, tell them NO. Not up for discussion.

It will become easier and easier to tell yourself NO and to silence the sabotaging thoughts.

And give yourself credit for every day that you don't give in. :)

ETA: And *Congrats* on the amazing weight loss!!!! Focus on your feelings of triumph and success!

Thank you, DV! I suppose that because this is a lifestyle change and not a diet, so to speak, I will hit snags. I was just lucky enough not to hit any for a long time. I was so determined to lose this weight, I had nerves of steel. Coworkers have left pizza on my desk, waved plates of fries under my nose, but I knew what I wanted so it didn't faze me.

It's such a hard balance, to not restrict too much but then not eat bad food. I treat this like an addiction, but unlike drug/alcohol addictions, I can't abstain from mine. I surely can abstain from candy bars, and the thing I hate the most about this relapse is that I didn't even crave them. Just ate them because they were there. Bleh.

Today I have vowed to drink three of my 20oz water bottles at work today, so hopefully that will keep me busy and full between meals.

Sounds like you need to bring more snacks to work...maybe even some carrots!!! I think another one of your triggers for bingeing that you did not list is not eating enough through out the day. It is my BIGGEST trigger.

You know the Ghirdelli individual squares or the Lindor individual balls? Take just ONE and put it in your desk, when the office is empty, take it out and take small bites and savor the taste of GOOD chocolate and drink a 16 oz bottle of water. You will be satisfyed with the "chocolate" fix, it is great tasting chocolate (you can get them with the Higher % cocoa-which is good for you) you will get in 2 more servings of H2O. All for between 35-50 Calories.