I decided that I'm not going to the company party this year. My husband and his 2 partners throw a party every year (it's wives and family) and I just really don't want to go.

Three years ago I got sick (Bipolar Disorder) did something stupid and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. At the party that year no one talked to me. I had become the "crazy" person. Years before that, barely anyone talked to me because I don't have a job or do the things the other wives do. Last year they talked to me, but I didn't have a good time.

It's a long day of eating and drinking (which I don't do). And now both wives have had weightloss surgery and are super skinny. I don't begrudge them that, I had the option too but A) I thought it was weird, "company wives and surgery"-no thanks. and B) I really want to do this the healthy way. I want to prove to myself and my children that it can be done without surgery. I just think that they weren't sending the best message to their daughters. Oh and I'm also the only one who was/is in the obese category. I asked DH how did insurance cover it when clearly it wasn't over the 75lbs mark with either one of them. He said he asked that too and got no answer.

So I've opted not to go. No one talks to me because I'm mentally incapable of conversation (or that's how I see them thinking). There's only food and drinking to do (ugh, I don't need either of those) and it's hot and boring as Heck. I'm just wondering if this is just too anti social. I just really don't want to hear about their surgeries and all that comes with that. Am I being too petty?

Yuck, I wouldn't go either. That sounds horrible.

I wouldn't go. Clearly the eating and drinking part isn't something you want to engage in because you are trying to be healthy. Plus, why be miserable? You don't have to do anything you don't want to do!

Yeah, that doesn't sound fun. I wouldn't want to go, either. There's no sense wasting your time and energy on something that is just going to drain it all anyway.

My husband hardly ever goes to any of my functions (not that there's many.) He never goes to his functions either, so me going is academic.

I think you're making a good decision. Especially since it sounds like a day-long event? If it were an hour, it might not be too much of an effort to grin and bear, but a whole day is too much to ask. By nature, I am a more social person than my social skills really allow for and I often go to things thinking I will enjoy myself, and I don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with standing up for yourself and saying that it's not the way you want to spend your time. I don't love doing it, but I make excuses for my husband, and your husband can do the same for you. These are the situations little white lies are made for.

If you aren't going to have fun, and you're just going to feel left out, then I probably wouldn't go, either.

I would talk to my husband first. If he really needed me, I'd probably agree, but set a time limit. Like an hour and a half or something and agree upon it ahead of time so he knows how long we're staying. I'd also eat beforehand, and stick near the husband.

First choice, don't go and do what you'd rather do that day. Second choice, go...but set an agreed upon time limit and plan something better and fun to do afterwards! Like a movie!

I agree with Lovely.... if your hubby is perfectly fine with you not going then I say do not go. The last thing you need is to spend time with people you do not want to be around anyway. Perhaps your hubby can just tell everyone how you are disappointed you couldn't make it but you had another commitment. That commitment, of course, is to yourself and your own healthy and happiness!

Relax and enjoy the day hubby free. Make sure you plan something nice for yourself too!

I was gonna say...

Instead of simply "not going" - how's about you plan something really fun/cool for yourself to do during that company party? Go get a pedicure or invite some friends over or whatever. Enjoy yourself!!

Thanks everyone for the positive feedback. I was feeling guilty but now I know I'm not being unreasonable. Looks like we have come to an agreement. I will drive the family there (40 min drive) and I will pick them up. Its the best of both worlds. I can say hi and bye and get my family home safely as DH loves to drink. He has to go to the party as it's his company, but I'm just not the company wife type.
I have no idea what I will do with myself. Read? I haven't any friends to go out with, but that's ok, I don't like going out. No I think a quiet day with a book sounds like heaven. That sounds good.

that sounds like my idea of a perfect day too...i love books!

I would at least put in a short appearance. After all, your husband is a partner. How will your husband feel if you don't go? We can't go through life just doing the pleasant things.