So, I have been off plan for over 6-7 weeks. I no longer count calories or watch what I eat. I cannot shake this funk. The strange thing is that I am still going down at about 1.5 lbs a month. I do have a general idea of what I eat, and I do try to drink 0 calorie/low calorie drinks. I do watch my portions, but my desire for high calories, high fat food is out of control
I do have a connective disease issue and am on meds, but my craving for sweets and carbs are ridiculous. I am not sleeping well becuz of med side effects, and this morning after less than 2 hrs sleep, I was up at 5.30am eating a slice of red velvet cake. Hello, 2 years ago, I did not eat cake nor ice cream. Now, my carb craving is ridiculous. Additionally, because of back/butt pain, I no longer exercise; haven't for over 2 months, so I am not burning over excess calories.
Each morning I weigh with dread in my heart, but the scale seems to be staying the same/moving down. I have resorted to putting my scale 2lbs up to try to trick my mind into thinking I am gaining weight, but then like this morning I came straight off the scale and had some more red velvet cake. Did I mention that I had some more tonight ..sigh. If it is not in the house, I drive out to buy some cheesecake (something I thoroughly detested until recently)
Last year, I was 37lbs heavier and the rheumatologist wanted me to lose weight, but now, he is saying for my body type, he thinks I should stop at 135, and not lower than 130. I tried to tell him that I am not trying to lose weight, and from blood tests, there is nothing apparently wrong with me (diabetes, thyroid etc) to explain what is happening. For geez sakes, I had KFC twice in one day! that from someone who never even liked KFC!
I keep waiting on the weight ball to drop. Is it possible to just wake up one morning and see that I have put on like 5lbs (barring water weight etc)? May be I if I gain it will be a quick in the butt! I dunno, I am sooo frustrated as I know better but cannot shake this junk funk....I have given good eating advice to everyone and my friends are seeing the results and following the advice, so why can't I stick to my own advice.