I've failed on many diets (i.e., I ultimately regained my weight), and after getting a new job several years ago, I became burned out just trying to keep up the "healthy" lifestyle that allowed me to stay slim. So, I just stopped, and predictably, I regained. It took about four years, but now I'm forty - fifty pounds overweight. I just gave up. A couple of weeks ago, though, I finally felt as if I was able to climb out from hiding and start joining the world of the living again. I know this seems cliché, but I feel different this time (I'm really hoping that this isn't just that honeymoon period of restarting---and I don't think it is). Despite all the past failures, I think I've managed to glean a few bits of wisdom that seems to have made a difference in my outlook this time. Here are two of my "pearls," and I'd love you guys to share yours:

1) I've learned to accept reality. I can throw all the mental tantrums I want, but it won't change the fact that I will never be able to view food like a "normal" person (i.e., I'll have to calorie count or journal or practice some sort of accountability). It won't change the fact that I'm a 5 ft. 3 endomorph who hates formal exercise and loves carbs (especially sweets). As such, I will only be able to eat about 1600 -1700 calories a day to maintain my goal weight, and I must make sure those calories have some staying power. Just accepting that fact has made a world of difference in my outlook. (And let's face it: In the scheme of things, there are many more unfair things in this world than figuring out that I can't have a Snickers any time I want).

2) I'm okay with . . . "okay" ---I am not aiming for perfection this time. I'm 5 ft 3 and would love to be 135 lbs., but I'll accept 150. And I'm not going to kill myself with a weight-lifting routine that I know I won't maintain. Instead, I'm happy that I get up and do some push-ups, sit-ups, and squats during commercial breaks of Criminal Minds. I'm aiming for moderation this time rather than perfection (which I've never been able to obtain anyway).

Anyone else have any words of dieting/eating/exercising wisdom that you've gleaned over the years?

It sounds like you're in a really good frame of mind to start your journey. Perseverance Is always the key. Life will throw us curves. We just have to keep plugging away.

I would like to add that whenever the road gets rough we always say "i don't care anymore! I'm just meant to be fat!" That is a LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will will never be ok with being "fat" because you will ALWAYS try to imagine life as a smaller person who's able to buy the super cute clothes from ANY clothing store and not just from specialty stores for "full figgured" women. Point im trying to make: Suck it up and keep going! No matter how hard the road is!

Yea, they're all on my hips! hahaha Couldnt resist!

I can definitely appreciate those two points you made, and completely agree with them!

Some days are gonna be great! I'm gonna feel on top of the world, everything is going to go my way. I'll enjoy being on the treadmill, and eating healthy things.

Other days are going to be very difficult. I might only get some things half-done. Or be less than enthusiastic about the whole process... and that's okay. It's okay to have some days in there where I'm just faking it until I make it. I can have imperfect days, as long as I keep making steps forward!

I love the "faking it" point. I remember hearing of some study that was done on moods, and it indicated that just the physical act of smiling, even if you don't mean it, can marginally improve your mood. It's sort of the same principle. Faking it can get us through the rough patches.


SeeImTryin, I completely agree about perseverence; it goes hand-in-hand with the "faking it" point about.

MzJuicyD, I'm with you: I don't think I could ever accept myself as overweight as I am now. I just don't FEEL my best, and that upsets me.

I "borrowed" this concept from other 3fc posters (can't remember who said it- but THANK YOU)- it's important to get into a mindset of not looking at the weight loss process as a diet that you can go on and off from - just a journey of healthful eating, good choices with some occasional "bumps" in the road.

The main importance of this for me - is it negates that "Oh, I just went over my calories for today -so since I blew it, I may as well eat whatever I want and start again tomorrow." This was my mentality for years and why I ended up with more than just a few lbs. to lose.

Now when I sometimes overeat at a meal, it doesn't turn into a "Binge for a Day" and it doesn't take me a few days to undo the 1 meal calorie overage. I'm also not feeling in a constant state of deprivation -soooo important to me.

It took me months to get to this point -but am happily down 20 lbs. (it took 7 months) but I feel and look better and that's what counts!! I also don't spend time fantasizing about what I am going to eat "when I go off my diet" because I no longer consider my food plan a diet. I occasionally have my "fantasy foods" but I allow for them and plan accordingly(most of the time -am not perfect y'a know).

HUGE Lesson learned - hope this helps you in your journey - good luck - L.

Congrats on your 20 lbs. lost and your untold wisdom gained!

Your point is so appropos to my experience today. I am trying to stay within 1200 - 1400 calories a day. However, I had eaten about 900 calories by dinnertime, and my husband decided it was a nice night to go out to dinner. I had to consciously halt my old dieting mentality, which would have been "Oh no! I don't have enough calories left! Oh well, I might as well just pig out at dinner since I'm going to go over my calories anyway." That mentality really sucked the joy out of life, and led to my failure to really make any real lifestyle changes. But today, instead, I thought to myself, "Okay, I'm going out and having a good time, but making wise choices." So, instead of my usual lobster bisque (I'm estimating about 700 calories per bowl), I ordered the salad they had as a special, and it was scrumptious (arugula, a few blackberries, baby heirloom tomatoes, and a bit of goat cheese---YUM!). Also, I had a tasty gnocchi dish---but appetizer sized. I had one glass of wine and skipped dessert. I definitely went over my daily calories, but because I didn't succumb to the "all or nothing" mentality, the damage was much less than it would have been. I was completely satisfied with my dinner, and I really feel as if I took a step in the "lifestyle" direction.