[caramelkitty]

I honestly would love to meet you all in person so I could give you all a hug. *e-hug*

I have never seen such positive and inspiring people, and YOU (as well as myself of course) are my motivation !

Thanks for everything xoxoxoxo

[dragonlady1978]

Caramelkitty you look great!!!

Thank you for posting your pics, they reminded me that I probably should cut myself some slack, too. I think ALOT of us have insecurities that make us have skewed perceptions of what we actually look like, thinking and feeling like we are much bigger than we actually are.

I would not see you on the street and stare at you thinking you are fat, I'd be envious I'd trade away a higher number on the scale for a flat stomach any day of the week!

I wish the emotional part of this were easier. I think it does help to be able to relate to so many people here going through the same, though.

[caramelkitty]

I agree. I do think that first and foremost I need to work on the inside, before I even worry about what the outside looks like.

Yeah the outside has a couple pounds to lose...
The inside has a lotttttt more work that needs to be done.

I have been self-destructing since I have been unhappy in my relationships.
But here I am with a guy who loves me enough to put a huge rock on my finger, and I still see myself the way my exes made me feel.

I know I'm lucky that I have a flat stomach, and I guess I should take that to my advantage and focus on the rest.

I don't want to be skinny, I think I want to feel skinny. That's my thing.

@Dragonlady, I started around the same weight as you, I look forward to seeing your number on my scale. And I'll have a little victory dance in the bathroom! Lol

[luckymommy]

Hey there,

I'm really glad that you posted your photos. I can tell you now FOR SURE that you are beautiful and have nothing to worry about! Also, just so you know, you may hit your goal and your man may still be looking at other women! Some men just like to look because someone is attractive. Honestly, I also look at people who look good....I don't know why and I'm not as visual as a men. Men are much more visual then women. You ARE beautiful so don't worry that he's looking at others because he's not happy with you! Also, I think you should take photos with ever 10 lbs you lose so that you can see the difference. Some women get to goal and they still feel like they're overweight and don't see a difference and photos help a lot. Take care!

[greenlove62]

I found the secret to permanent weight loss success!! It's all in the mind!!

I know exactly how you feel, listen I was doing so good with my exercises and eating all the right foods and losing the weight then it was like I hit a brick wall! Everything started falling apart.

My friend Sherry told me to read this article “The Weight Loss Management Psychology” by Malcolm Baptiste. I typed the title of the article in and the article came up and it is GREAT!!! It’s was like he was writing about my story! I followed the advice and I’m back on track stronger and the weight is dropping off!!!!!

I love this forum because it allow us to come together and support each other! We are able to share what is working for us! Please hang in there because you can do it! Knowledge is power!!

Check out my blog at newme62 on 3fatchicks!!

[caramelkitty]

Wow it really is a great article.

Here it is in case anyone wants to read it as well:

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Psycho...It?&id=6344853

Thanks for all the support girls, I really do appreciate it! I'm down 23 lb since this morning and it feels great!

[BowandArcher]

step one:take a deep breath, close your eyes, and remind yourself that you are not (by far) the only overweight person anyone has seen. fun tip: NO ONE IS WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO DISTRACTED WITH HOW PEOPLE THINK THEY LOOK!

step two: center yourself, take plenty of slow deep breaths and tell yourself you are beautiful even if you dont think so at the time. self hate and pitty will get you no where. Only through self love will you lose your weight and keep it off.

step three: Think of something that makes you happy that has nothing to do with body image. us women OBSESS about self image and we NEED to be distracted with other thoughts otherwise we would go crazy and kill our boyfriends without them ever knowing what they did lol

repeat if necessary... hang tough, even the worst feelings will pass.

[caramelkitty]

@Bowandarcher -- you're right.
We do need something to think about.
I started this morning to just feel ....overly confident.
Not to the point where I push people out of my way cuz im royalty (lol)
But You know, if someone looks at me (or if i just think they're looking) I just think, yeah, well, I am pretty so why wouldnt they look?

One step at a time, I think I just realized what my problem was - I was hoping I'd melt. In a week.
Lose all my weight. Which is ...impossible!
So now that I realize that I need to work on some confidence issues as well as my state of mind, and my diet and exercise program, the weight is coming off.
I should be at a reasonable weight in no time!

[dragonlady1978]

Congrats on 23 pounds!! You are already more than 1/3 of the way to goal, that's great!

I read the article, it was very perceptive to have been written by the spouse of someone going through this. I wish my hubs could understand that well. He just isn't bothered by thoughts about food or weight at all, and while he tries to be understanding that I am....I know he really doesn't get it. Sometimes that makes me feel even more weak/pathetic, but I know it's kinda unreasonable for me to expect him to just automatically relate to my unhealthy mindset.

I can't really imagine what it's like to not feel inadequate about my weight. Even when the scale says a number I should be satisfied with I am still always a fat chick in my head. There has always been something I cringed about when I looked in the mirror, even at 120 lbs...which is probably exactly why I'm doing this again. I'm still hopeful that this time will be the one that I let myself get in the right mindset and stay there. I'm not giving up!

[BowandArcher]

EXACTLY! I have to tell myself that I'm doing my best, and if someone else doesnt like the way I look they probably have ALOT more self esteem issues than I do. Sometimes you just need to have the "**** you, I'm sexy AND beautiful as a big girl and when I lose this weight I'll be BANGIN!!!"

[greenlove62]

Hello ladies,

Glad you liked the article and hope you get the free steps he's offering! This stuff is no joke! It's not enough to just wish ourselves thin, or say a few affirmations, we really have to get to the root cause of these self sabotaging thoughts.

Because like it or not the thoughts are real! It's not the looks from other people it's the thoughts that raise up on the inside of us when people look!

Have you ever been in a room and people started laughing and for a second you thought they were laughing at you? This happens to me, but now I know that is a ridiculous thought, because they don't even know me!! They are not even thinking about me!!

The role our thoughts play in us gaining the weight, losing the weight, and maintaining the weight is more important than the foods we eat. Because we can put the fork down or never pick it up when we understand what is forcing us to try to use food as more than what it is FOOD! Nutrition, Energy!

I love the book The Mind is the Battlefield, by Joyce Myers because she also talks about how our thoughts can do us in!

Here's to our empowerment, our victorious thoughts, and our success!!

[mzKiki]

We all have bad days (hugs) and just like everyone else said 20 lbs is a lot of progress and you should be proud!!!
I bet you look awesome in your 3/4 pants.
As far as guys are concerned they like to look I'm sure he's very much attracted to you, but maybe you can have a conversation with him about how it makes you feel when he looks at other women when he's with you.

[mzKiki]

Oh wow, I just saw the pics. It's always so funny how most people have a distorted sense of self!
Now if I ran into you on the street I'd think wow she's hot (seriously).
You are curvy and pretty and there is absolutely no reason why you cant wear shorts! GO GIRL!