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Old 05-14-2011, 10:25 AM   #1  
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S/C/G: 174→168.0→135

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Unhappy Will I actually do it? (another one of THOSE threads)

Yesterday I hit 161.4. Today I'm the same. I'm hoping to see 160 before this month is up. I think it's do-able. But here's my quandry...when I think about it, I'm still 186lb. And yet, I only have 21lb to go. I'll be in the 150s soon--as in 2.4lbs. That just sounds strange, because after that comes the 140s. I'm sort of scared, and I'm wondering if I can and will actually go through with it. I'm especially scared that if I DO, I won't look the way I thought I would at 140, and that I might give up and not bother to get to 135 or 125.

I feel like I have things under control now, but another thing I'm sort of scared of is--what if I do make it to 125, and then I become obsessed with how I look and what I'm eating and how much? People already tell me I'm obsessive, but I'm scared I might become like, anorexic or something like that. I don't FEEL like I would, but I guess everyone has the potential. I mean, what if I got so concerned with being healthy I somehow warped my way of thinking or..something...I Don't now. Maybe this is just an excuse for when I get to a certain weight to not try anymore?

I'm just starting to get nervous. I don't want to give up, but I'm sort of scared of what will happen. My friend and I made a thousand pacts to lose weight, but we're actually doing it this time, and we always talked about how we'd buy bikinis. What if I'm so ugly looking after, I can't even wear a one piece? I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to sabotauge myself already!

Last edited by yhahmd; 05-14-2011 at 10:27 AM.
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Old 05-14-2011, 12:34 PM   #2  
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S/C/G: 200 / 180? / 140

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Have you considered talking to a psychologist or weight-loss specialist, even your doctor, about these concerns? You may also want to go over to the maintenance forum and talk to people over there about how they felt after achieving their weight-loss goals, etc.

Hang in there.
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Old 05-14-2011, 12:46 PM   #3  
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I have those same thoughts and issues. Although, I did have an eating disorder at one point in time and I still cross over into ED behavior occasionally. But, yeah, I would definitely go see a psychologist/counselor. Sometimes it helps sitting with someone, one-on-one, discussing your issues and solutions to said issues. It's worked wonders for me.
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Old 05-14-2011, 01:10 PM   #4  
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S/C/G: 194/ticker/129

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Your post said nothing that I haven't said or felt a hundred times in the past few months. When I started my journey my weight loss goal was 144. Then it changed to 132 because of the BMI chart. But now look! I just lowered to 129. But it's not because I don't think I feel good or look better now, it's because I don't know how to do anything else BUT lose weight. I adore watching the number on the scale go down and feeling those brand new pair of size 10 pants get looser. Now I have a pair of 8's I want hanging off me. It's a rush and I'm afraid maintenance is just going to be blah. BUT, on the other hand, it certainly would be nice to stay at one size and pack my closet full of clothes I can wear for more than a couple months! And it would be delightful to add more calories to my day!

I am of no support or encouragement, I know. I'm just here to comiserate with ya!
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Old 05-14-2011, 01:56 PM   #5  
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There's a lot of what-ifs that I worry about all the time but I try not to focus on it.

I think the fact you are concerned about being too obsessive is a sign that you are going to be ok ... it's the ones who are in denial and ambivalent to their obsessions that need to be careful.

Like the above posters, I've lowered my goal weight 3-4 times because I never fathomed myself making it there. I didn't want to set myself for unrealistic expectations.
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:47 PM   #6  
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S/C/G: 255/220/140

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my sister has always been the chubby one (until now) and she used to tell me that she was scared to lose weight, or get thin, bc i would be mad at her. like i would be so competative i wouldnt support her. i found that odd. i think she was just scared to be thin. i think being chubby was her shield. i guess anything can happen as you said. but you have to cross that bridge when you get there. you might get to 140 and look and feel great, cope great with the new weight and find a sensible diet and way of living....that can be one of your options as well. we all have fears, im scared aswell. im scared that i wont have to hide under oversized clothes, that people will give me attention. but i have to think my health is more important.
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Old 05-14-2011, 03:30 PM   #7  
Join Date: May 2011
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S/C/G: 235/203/150

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I wonder the same thing as well, but then you just have to realize it's better than being overweight and unhealthy. I hope that you will be proud and realize what a war you had to go through to get to your goal. You should feel beautiful no matter what. I was scared too, when I was at a 46 pound loss, nearing my first 50 and realize I was still quite big, but I was happy. Not even with how I looked but the fact that I couldn't wear 16 anymore but was comfortable in a 14, tight and daring in a 12. Before I even realize it I wasn't wearing XL anymore but L and occasionally a medium.

I hope you will be proud and confident. Weight loss is such a thing to go through. Five pounds, twenty pounds, two-hundred pounds, you should feel proud you are working or have worked so hard.
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