I find this website so helpful. I had no idea that I would like it as much as I do... But, I truly appreciate the support, validation, and focus that I have found by coming here every so often.
I'm not sure what this post is about, but I am feeling down and frustrated. And, I am feeling sick of feeling down and frustrated. I don't understand why weight loss has to be cyclical. I have been feeling really good over the last several months, and I have been patient with myself. I have not lost weight as fast as I would like, and I have managed the plateaus.
But, I have been in a funk over the past few days, and I can feel my motivation slipping away. It's like I have two things going on at once... One part of me is losing motivation, making bad food choices, not taking care of myself in other ways (like not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, etc). And then there is a part of my that is observing this happen, almost like from the outside looking in. And that part of me is screaming, trying to snap me out of it, fighting to help me stay in control. But, it's like the me that's losing motivation can't hear the me that's try to stay on track. And, I am so nervous that part will win the battle.
Over my last 4 weekly weigh-ins, I have only lost 1 pound. I can't talk myself into being excited about that one pound, or see the silver lining in that I am not gaining. I feel worse about my body right now than I have in as long as I can remember.
Why is this happening? I didn't do anything "wrong". I haven't binged. I haven't stopped working out. Nothing has changed, except that I am not losing weight and I'm feeling like crap.
And because I'm feeling like crap, I'm doing things that aren't good for my weight loss... I'm using my WW points for things like candy and wine. Then, I am not eating healthy foods, because I'm clinging with white knuckles to the plan. Then, I feel physically gross and guilty. Then, I ended up doing the same thing all over again...
I think all the time about inertia. Like what you learn in science in school -- an object in motion will stay in motion. An object at rest will stay at rest. I don't get why my motivation doesn't work that way. Why can't I just stay hopeful and motivated?
I have faith that I will start to feel motivated again... that the pendulum will swing back in a good direction. But, right now, all I feel like doing is crying. And eating.
So, I don't know if there is anything that I am asking of you all... I don't know what there is to say to make me feel better. But, I just wanted to get it out...
I hope you are all having an easier day than I am...


