I feel sick about who I have let myself become; When I started this and for years before, I let myself think I'm not good enough for greatness. That I couldn't endure pain to better myself because I was weak. Well, once I made up my mind that I am in no way weak and that I deserve to be healthy and beautiful, I am doing it.

Take yesterday for example-I was doing my run, and it started to get really hard to keep going. Exercising is uncomfortable; at times, it is mentally and physically painful. Running for me is the hardest, which is why I chose it. I get stitches in my side sometimes, my calves ache and I often find tears streaming down my cheeks because the only thing I want in the whole world at that moment is to give up. But then, I ask myself-Is a few minutes of pain or discomfort each day worth a lifetime of the pain I will continue to experience being fat? And then that makes it worth it-because at this point, I would rather face a dragon than to be like this. I'm so sick with my body and mind and the way I let myself slip through my own cracks and that's why I have to do this, so it is a motivator.