Silly Sunday! At least I feel that's what I need today! A few hours of silliness.
Ah, Empress, your eating totals are inspiring. I binged yesterday. I really felt tired and like some little bug was brewing. And it was the day my princesses came to visit. Enjoyed them as usual but felt tired nonetheless. Drank my water but gave in to some cookies and peanut butter cups (brought later in the evening as part of a home baked cookie basket from sweet neighbors).
But today is a new one. Ds returning this evening. Dh having dialysis this afternoon. And I have no plans except church during that four hour period. SO, in addition to being silly today, I am going to seek out SOMETHING just to spend some time doing something for sheer pleasure (whatever that may be).
All this talk of toxic people has set me to thinking about a situation over the last few years where I was the drop - ee (can't figure out the spelling - anyway I was the friend who was dropped). I don't believe I was toxic and we had been good friends during a time of her need. But at any rate, I must have become toxic and even though it hurt me, I think she did the right thing for her. And now I'm coming to see it was the right thing for me too. I really don't need friends badly enough to pursue someone who does not treasure my friendship. I also have tapered off friendships when they had become more onerous than rewarding and I have to admit she did try to taper off and we were no longer the good friends we had been earlier. I guess the part that really bugs me is her last words to me after we had spent some time together (four months after the previous time) "We really should get together and do this sooner next time" - they rang so false at the time and of course they were.
When three months later I e-mailed her with an invite for her birthday lunch, she e-mailed back that she'd love to but could we do it after the birth of my grandchild as we'd have more to talk abut then. Well, the kid is 2 years and 4 months old and yes, she was made aware of the birth.....so anyway, my point is I gave it lots of time but came to the conclusion I had to admit the friendship had died. Dh had apparently noticed a change long before I was willing to see it and we had talked about it for sometime before it actually ended. I still send birthday, Christmas cards, partly because of a perverse need to remind her of what I think she lost and I still think she's basically a very nice person and probably a good friend to those who fit her situation at the moment.
Sorry for the ramble. I've never mentioned this to anyone but dh and just really wanted to say the previous posts on subject have helped me see it as an advantage to me as well.
Empress J- Yes, the "safe baby" act is a major step forward. Our child protection laws need to be reevaluated the same way the domestic violence laws were-- who is really more protected??
Very tough tightrope but some states have made commendable beginnings. A very close friend became a foster parent 3 years ago. The foster parent rules are rigourous - and rightly so- she has been warned that even the accusation of a single "spank" on a behind is not allowed. Yet, she has watched the "system" delay decisions on terminating parental rights for over years. I am not talking about young parents of one child, I'm talking about parents of 4-5 children, all of them w/ fetal alcohol syndrome or related problems. And even worse, she is watching delaying tactics regarding treatment for diagnosed mental problems for these children based on which county would be held financially liable. Defenseless 3, 4, 5, 6 yr olds who might have had a chance if treatment/therapy had been made available.
Ironic how quickly a "parent or family member" in another jurisdiction will be granted custody based on the expense of the medical treatment. Emotional bonds don't seem to be part of the equation.
My friend has had one little boy w/ her for 16 months- By weekend, the DNA evidence will be back regarding the 5th man tested as "possible father". The little boy has been w/ her since 3 mos-
you can imagine the mutual attachment-- This child has 4 siblings -- all in the system--he's showing developmental delays but all too soon to diagnose-- as for the little girl, just turned 4, w/my friend for apx 8 mos, also the youngest of 5, two siblings are already in children's mental hospitals. Yet, the father is in another state in jail and the "process" must be followed. ( The mother died in jail from "cold turkeying" ).
Yet, if my friend is willing to adopt either child............
Let me step down....
But before I do-- These type of policies can be changed in our own communities by our votes.
Anagram- Have fun- even if you decide to just sit and watch the sky-- even if its for 15 minutes.
As for your friend, perhaps its a perception problem for the friend.
Perhaps something you arent aware; perhaps her perception of your marriage, your confidence, etc is more to blame than anything else. And sometimes, we really don't want to know what's going on behind closed doors. You are obviously making the effort to leave the door open--
Today's thought is:
"There are two ways of spreading light; to be The candle or the mirror that reflects it."---Edith Wharton
Yo, no applause, please, but (believe it or not), Amarantha hath met her goal for one of these challenges!
It is, I do believe, the consistent water drinking, even though it be only 32 ounces per day, it is consistent and that has turned the tide, so to speak. Dulce de Scale hath registered in a 1.5 pound loss, leaving me behind at 159.5 pounds, so I've revised my New Year's Blitz (Water Winter Wonderland) Goal to 159 and will post a revised roster!!!!
Kaylets: Your friend sounds like a wonderful person and perhaps if more people would get involved with these issues as she has, change might happen.
Anagram: My calories have been in check these past few days and I feel they are going to continue to be so, but I actually had cookies twice this week, too! I also had the wonderful vanilla triangle doughnut at Walmart! Still not bingeing, though, but I did have one binge and still lost weight. I don't plan to repeat that experiment ... no use tempting fate.
I'm really on my way, o' fellow challengers ... getting excited about the Valentine's challenge and choosing a goal for that!
Ok, trying again! Here's the correct update. Takes too long to edit! Punkin, I can see why doing the roster might not be a good idea for the Valentine's challenge; it's too long a period to try to update one. Anyway:
COGRATULATIONS AMARANTHA!!!!!!!!!
i'm wondering what your new goal could be??? your like at a good weight right now, i wouldnt want to go to low???? It sounds like your done.hahaha if i was 159 i would be underweight hahaha that sounds funny, but true. anyway im so happy for you.
keep me in your thoughts and prayers when the new year begins, i will be starting over, weight wise. and attending school.
well happy new year too all.
Good for you E Jade!! Water and food intake consistency !!
I am impressed and inspired! And ps, I noticed that your the Demon scale became Sweet!
And wish I could say the same! But my weight remains the same which is also good news considering!-- Certainly have proven my rule that when things are not around they can't be eaten!!
But ps for me, although "safe" the Suzanne Somers Truffles
are gone and we will try and keep that door shut!!
Which reminds me-- did anyone catch Sunday Morning on CBS yesterday? Bill Geist does humorous pieces and he did awards for the worst of 2002. He had an award for the worst new "treat".
Was I the only one who didnt know the latest taste sensation was "Deep Fried TWINKIES"???
Almost makes you want to run for the water doesnt it??
Senamay- Don't forget that its all a matter of perspective! For some of us, the closer to our goal, the harder it can be to come off -- and by the way, sounds as though you might be taller than I am-- I've wished I had some more height my entire life!! Bet you have curly hair too!
I work today, and am then off until Thursday- So, I'm off.......
Today's thought is:
"Never ask the barber if you need a haircut." Warren Buffett
Sloshing in to say goodmornin' to ya ladies!!! I've already got 24 oz of the good stuff under my belt err in my tummy this morning and it's only 7:30am. I won't be walking anywhere outside today as it is freakin freezing!!! Mother nature is a little early this time around so I'm bloated and angry! So much for my 4lb weightloss last challenge.
See you guys later!!!
Yo! Gotta run!!! Actually did run/walk 40 minutes. Very good for the bones! Ended eating day yesterday at 1845 calories; exercise was "aerobic cleaning!" I only count this as exercise when I've made a significant effort to add leg lifts, running in place spurts, swinging the mop overhead, stretching, doing standing abs, etc. Did this for an hour. House clean and I got an hour of exercise for my program. Regular cleaning doesn't count but "aerobic cleaning" does.
Senamay: My ultimate goal is 135, which is a good weight for me and one that'll be somewhat challenging to maintain once I get there. I use the BMI chart and the doctor's recommendations as my guideline, but as Kaylets said, it's all relative. If you are very tall and very athletic (well-muscled), then the BMI might well be an incorrect measure for you. But I think in weight management, we're never done, because the second half of the equation is maintenance. Also as Kaylets said, it is much harder to lose the last few pounds than the first. It was actually quite easy for me to lose the original 100, but now it is a struggle just to stay even. But we are all different and have different goals. I am never in danger of going too low!
Kaylets: Fried Twinkies? Good heavens!!! That is as bad as Elvis' fried peanut butter and bacon sandwich! He really did eat that (he used to come to the area I live in and make movies and a favorite restaurant he frequented recalls making the sandwich for him and his group). I didn't see the piece, but definetely that sounds so awful I can hardly contemplate it.
I read a blip somewhere yesterday that my beloved Cheetoes will lose the evil transfat, which is good news and maybe I can eat them without guilt. Frito-Lay is also putting out a reduced fat version, but unless it's a significant drop in calories, I don't see the point in shaving off one or two grams and changing the taste.
Frogger: Good work on the water so early!!! BTW, if you have a long hallway like mine, maybe you can adopt my "Hall Treadmill" strategy. When I don't want to walk outside, I do circuits through the kitchen, living room, long hallway, gym room (aka a spare bedroom), back and forth, back and forth. I can get a really good brisk walk or run this way and I don't think you'd even need a long hallway. Even one room would work. Also, tapes such as Leslie Sansone's WATP (or her older Walk Aerobics), or a whole bunch of newer or older exercise gurus, can take the place of walking outside. Or just put on some music and move around in place for awhile. Mother Nature really doesn't have to come into it!!!
Ok, bye all!!! I have a significantly long work list today!
Kaylets, on the deep fried twinkies, our local Breakfast Television hosts couldn't believe it, either, so they set up a deep fryer and made some. They said they were absolutley delicious, despite it being deep fried sugar. Not something I'd want to try, though.
Senamay, you're going to have a fabulous year! Back to school, getting healthy....it's going to be YOUR year!
Anagram, what did you do for yourself yesterday?
Eydie, glad to hear that your other friendships are blossoming!
I'm doing okay with my 48oz daily, meeting it without too much effort. I've cut out my diet, caffeine-free Coke, which I like, but my problematic gut works so much better when I replace the Coke with water, not to mention the weight-loss effects and overall benefits. So, the last bottle was emptied yesterday and I will buy no more. I don't drink milk, or juice (with the exception of the rare Fruitopia), so it's water or tea and I have at the most, two cups of tea a day. I'm putting things in place this week to be ready on Monday for our Valentine's Challenge. It's all in the attitude!
Hello to all our waterbabies! Make your cups runneth over.
I don't think I got all my water in this weekend - I feel puffy... the scale shows I'm up 3 pounds - interesting since I haven't eaten all that much, but I have been eating a lot of salty stuff.
I got out my WW stuff this weekend and will be doing some shopping after work to get normal food back in the house. Saturday's my birthday - then that's IT! This is the year I do it - come **** or high water - no more playing. I don't want to be fighting this all through my 30's - if I just do it, then it's done. I'd rather fight to maintain than fight to loose...
Scooby - I'm sorry you're feeling down and that it looks like an operation's in store. Look at it like this - we're getting a minute or two more sunlight every day. Before you know it it WILL be 75 and sunny! Feel better soon...
Kaylets - I love that! Yes, it does cost the same if it's eaten or tossed! I enjoy throwing food away and have done a lot of that this Christmas. I've heard of the deep fried Twinkies - I think it started in England... where they fry everything.
Anagram - Congrats on needing smaller clothes! It's got to be nice to have to exchange a gift because it's too BIG!
Wildfire - Thankfully the coast has been much harder hit than us. I'm in central Oregon and the Cascade range blocks a lot of the storms - but not the wind! I seriously thought I was going to have to re-roof my house last week! Thankfully no damage, but the wind gusts were reported at over 60 mph. (thanks for thinking I'm small enough to blow away too!)
Amarantha - CONGRATS ON THE LOSS!!!!
And, oooh, I could go on about what idiots some police officers are after being married to one for 6 years and knowing a boat-load of the force. Not the most reliable or polite bunch for the most part... Good for you for not letting 'em get to you!
Eydie - That's amazing about the change in your relationships with other friends after detoxing from that one person. I also have a friend that I had to detach from. We were really close in highschool and my Mom almost adopted her (she had an awful family w/ no parental care). We lost contact, then while I was still married, my ex had seen her in court for drug possession and auto theft. A few years later I found her online and she told me that her husband was in San Quentin (prison) and she was moving from place to place with 2 babies. Bad situation and I decided not to get sucked into her **** again (she took advantage of me the last time I tried to help). Sometimes you just gotta let go - for your own health.
Well, my house has been de-Christmased - took the tree down this weekend and all the decorations. Just wasn't in to it this year for some reason... This weekend I'll be making my soups!
Ok, favorite sayings... I'm paraphrasing here, but in the movie Rasputin, the surgeon general says he's done hundreds of autopsies and has never found a soul. Rasputin asks how many emotions or memories he's ever found....
Sloshing in with with a check in at 48 oz so far for today. I think I should pace myself because I'm living in the potty.
Just thought I'd share!
There's nothing to do here at work with an hour before I head home. I did walk around my floor though at lunchtime so I guess that counts as some excersise for the day. I tell you what I could use, a nap. I'm bushed.
Talk to you guys later!
Not doing as well today on water as usual and had another binge day yesterday including two glasses of wine (first in months and months). Seems to be a lot of serious getting ready going on here in this thread and I'm going to have to get at it. Overnight guests gone and feeling like we're beginning to get a handle on other stuff. But no rush.
Glad you're safe, Punkin and that today's a super extra special "Friday" for you.
It did feel good to get something too "big". Probably wait till next week to take them back though. Wildfire, what I did yesterday: first, I put on a bright holiday top I had not had a chance to wear anywhere this season. I figured I could wear it just for me. With it I wore my brand new size 18 black slacks. They felt so good. (Note: not all size 18s fit me yet but these do - it only takes one pair to say I can wear an 18).
What I did for entertainment was browse the Barnes and Noble. Long time since that too. Then I came home figuring on a little resting but a friend called and said she'd like to drop something off. So she stopped by with a fruit basket, chocolates and cookies (yeah!). And I spent the next hour visiting with her 'til it was time to go back for dh. She's a good friend and a great person and it was nice just to have some non-medical contact.
So I started out with a Slimfast today because it was Monday. then a salad for lunch. A couple of pretzels and a half cup of ice milk this afternoon. And it will be chicken breast for dinner with leftover cranberry sauce and a sweet potato for me, salad and corn for dh. It will take me weeks to atone for the recent binges but I'm not going to feel bad about them (thank goodness for 'no guilt' cards) because I'm still coming in zillions of calories below most previous holiday seasons.
Re the ex friend, Kaylets, que sera, sera. I
've left the door open for civility but know the friendship will not be there again. Dh and I do have a clue as to what the problem is/was and it's not something I could/would change (assuming we're right) nor do I think she'd want me to if I could. It's just something with which she apparently can't be comfortable. I can only assume she's happier this way and so, good for her.
Not sloshing yet so back for more water. Rain coming in this evening. Feels like a good curlup eveing.
Anagram, I'm so glad you had a nice afternoon. I think it's important for you to make time for yourself and maintain some outside contact, whether it's just browsing in a mall or chatting with a friend, because caring for someone who is not well is taxing, no matter how much you love them and want to help them. You need time now and then to decompress. We know how much you love your hubby and that you want to be there to help him, unconditionally. You also have to look after yourself, though, and I'm glad that you are doing that. Hey! Congrats on the 18's! You're right...it only takes one pair!
Frogger, get some sleep!
Punkin, glad the winds didn't get you, or your house! This is the year I'm really going to do this, too...so let's make a pact! To us, in 2003!
Well, I made the housework schedule and it's posted on the fridge (oh...that was in my journal I was talking about it...anyway, I've divvied up the work to educated my *lovely* teenage daughter that we do housework, too, and she really isn't Cinderella!). I've spent most of the day putting around, dusting in my bedroom which often seems to be the room that gets neglected. I am finally going to address my large living room window that is curtainless. I am going to make the draperies, but order the sheers. I just hate sewing sheers...they're slippery little buggers to sew. They can be bought for a song these days, so it really wouldn't save much money to make them myself. Draperies, on the other hand, are outrageously expensive to buy! I can make them for half as much (or less!), completely lined! I'll start scouting for fabric on the 2nd, and with any luck I'll be able to sew them this weekend.
I've got one more glass of water to get in tonight. That'll be after I come in from a walk. It's kinda mild here tonight, so I'm heading out.
Sunday
