I don't know what to do at this point. I'm just hoping someone might have gone through this too.
I have a weird living situation, I live with my boyfriend's family. I don't talk to my mom, and my dad is an alcoholic (while I technically can live there, I choose not to) so this is really the only place for me to go. The house is full to the brim with junk food here. All of the stuff that got me to my high weight is here. And I'm not exaggerating. I took pics of the pantries:
Everything you could imagine is here. It doesn't help that my boyfriend's mom is an excellent cook. It's very Paula Deen-esque cooking here, you can't lighten that up. I've tried. I cook my own dinners on the side a lot, but the fact remains that there's junk food up the wazoo here. Someone is always making a double batch of cookie dough, or brownies, or making an enormous sundae. And no, none of them are fat. They just stop eating when they're full.
I can't move out, I have nowhere else to go. Besides, other than the fact that there's tons of food I love it here. This is the first time in my life I've been in a normal family that eats dinner together at the table and everyone actually likes each other. His mom asks about my day, and helps me pick classes for school, and we go shopping together. I've never had that before, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I do know I have some weird compulsion with food, and I eat to make myself feel better, even now. It's hard not to, it's automatic actually. I realized that's how I got to be morbidly obese by the time I was a senior in high school, with not a single obese person in my entire family. It was a scary realization.
I've wondered if maybe I should just put weight loss on hold for the time being until I can get into my own place (that won't be for at least a year or two.) But at the same time I don't want to. I try not to, but I see the success of everyone here on 3FC all the time and I feel like a failure. I'm not a quitter, and I'm not a weak person. But I feel like it now. That's why this is so hard for me. I'm such an independent and strong willed person. When is set my mind to something, I don't stop until I get there. But this is the one hurdle I cannot get over. I want so badly to get to my goal weight, it's all I think about. And I don't know what to do at this point. I'm really wondering if I should just put this all on hold and try to work out my unhealthy relationship with food.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm feeling really down this morning... the scale wasn't in my favor this morning, and while I know it's a fluctuation, it's just a reminder that my weight is now holding steady instead of the desired result of going down. I'm sorry that this was long, I just don't know what else to do really. You ladies always give amazing support and advice... I feel like you're the only ones that will understand. Thanks for reading.