This is partly a vent, but mostly I'm just sad today y'all. I love my sister and I know she loves me, but it's like my weight loss has become this huge deal beween us.
There's lots of history here. I've always been overweight or obese, whereas my sister grew up very cute and thin (not super-skinny, but definitely thin). She had boyfriends from the time she was 14 and was popular. I was the stereotypical nerd on the academic team in the gifted program.
She's now 38, married with two children, and has gained weight over the years. She carries it well, but it's obvious she's uncomfortable with her weight and tries to hide under baggy clothing. She has stated several times that she's unhappy being "fat." I was guilty at first of trying to spread the calorie counting gospel, but realized pretty early on she didn't want to hear it, so that stopped fast.
She lives in another state, but I've seen her a few times since I started my weight loss journey. Back in August I was at about 160 and she was happy for me, but she made comments about how "high maintenance" I was about my food. By Christmas I was at 135 and she was shocked. She told me, "You look weird this thin. You need to get fat again." (One of the things about her is that you always know what she's thinking! )
I was on the phone with her today, and I mentioned that today was my first long run on the c25k. She responded, "Honestly, I kind of tune out anything you say about your weight loss and exercise because I've gained all my weight back and I don't want to hear it." (She went on a crash version of South Beach in January in preparation for a cruise, where, by her own admission, she ate everything in sight.)
Ok, ok, I know. Relationships with sisters are already weird and strange and fraught with tension. I know that she is obviously dealing with jealousy issues, and I'm probably not always gracious when I talk to her. I'm not perfect in this, I'm sure. But I'm so proud of how far I've come, diet and exercise-wise. I'm annoyed and sad that my sister seems so selfish that she can't just say to me, once, good job.
I'm seeing her next week and I want it to be a good visit. I want to have fun with her, and not have any tension. I don't know how to accomplish that. Sigh.
Thanks for listening, 3FC. I feel better just having gotten my feelings out there.