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Old 02-27-2011, 12:13 AM   #1  
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Default Does anyone ever think for a second, "I wish I was fat again?"

To those of you who have neared or reached your goal....What problems have you encountered? When I was 5'1 and almost 200 lbs, I was miserable about my body and finding clothing but generally happy with my social life, content being single, things like that.

Now, After hard work (then the unintentional grief associated weight loss), people actually think I'm "hot" This still baffles me.

Since becoming "hot" I've had more opportunities for dating which has equaled more opportunities for hurt or heartbreak. I've never been lonelier.

It's like people don't see me for me anymore....they see the outside, Tonight.....dumped by someone I really was starting to like...no reason. It was going really well actually. Men can be cruel.

Or I'll go to Lane Bryant or Torrid with a friend and get the nastiest looks from the salesgirls....They don't know I was much larger than them at one point of course but seriously? I never looked down upon skinny chicks when I was a chunker. I envied them sure but no dirty looks lol Somtimes if I'm annoyed enough, I'll grab a 40DDD bra and exclaim loudly "omg! this used to be my size!" (so that they know I'm one of them lol)

Does this happen to any of you girls? Any situations where you just wish for a second "If only I were fat again I'd......."

*disclaimer, I truly don't want to be overweight ever again...but I'd love to hear others' opinions on this*
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Old 02-27-2011, 12:26 AM   #2  
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the only "i wish" I have is that I lost my weight a looooong time ago.
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Old 02-27-2011, 12:37 AM   #3  
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Default No Way

I havent even reached my goal yet! Ive been fat all my life. Up and down, and believe me that takes a toll on your psyche and your body. I have no desire to be stick thin just healthy.
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Old 02-27-2011, 02:59 AM   #4  
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I'm not near goal at the moment but I have made it twice before.
I suppose that answers the question in a way: if I'd been as happy as I'd expected to be when I was thinner, I'd have stayed thinner.

I didn't experience any odd reactions from salespeople but then, I didn't go into any o/s shops.
I didn't experience unwanted or short-lived attention from men but that's because I have life-long intimacy issues, whereby I give off 'don't touch me' vibes regardless of size. I think my disappointment with where I'd got to, and thence my weight gain, lay in me, and in realizing that all the weird personal issues I'd had fat were still with me thin, they didn't magically vanish along with the pounds.

Please, tough it out! Don't end up like me having to repeat massive weightloss again and again!
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Old 02-27-2011, 03:21 AM   #5  
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I am 17 lbs from goal, and yes, I admit, I have had those feelings recently. I sometimes don't recognize this new person looking back at me in the mirror. My face doesn't look like my face anymore. Every single day, something changes. I guess I never really thought about the smaller things that would change. For example, none of my rings, belts, hats, shoes, underwear, bras, fit. I have purchased new clothing through necessity, but I haven't had the funds to replace everything.

It's a strange place to be. On one hand, I am thrilled with my success at this weightloss game. On the other hand, I am mystified and feel disconnected from my body *again*.

For me I suppose that weightloss is actually more about the mental aspect rather than the physical. I am doing my very best to come to terms with this and not allow myself to slip backward and regain all of the weight.
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Old 02-27-2011, 04:38 AM   #6  
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Old challenged conquered : weight loss
New challenge yet to be mastered : guy picking skills
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Old 02-27-2011, 05:08 AM   #7  
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I think it depends on the location you live.
I heard that fat people are beautiful in Africa :-)
And in Germany and most parts of the world fat people got discriminated because of being overweight.

best wishes
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Old 02-27-2011, 08:21 AM   #8  
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There was a time when I didn't even think about food in the same way I think about it now and I was normal metabolism. I ate when I was hungry, never measured food, count calories or even read a diet book. I was in my 20's and didn't really have a care in the world, at least about weight! Now that I am sixty, I must exercise and watch every ounce of food that goes in my mouth to stay healthy and clean. Sometimes...I long for the old days!
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Old 02-27-2011, 08:50 AM   #9  
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The only times I wish I could put the fat back on is when I'm thinking in terms of a fat suit, so I could put it on and remember, but then zip it right back off. It's hard sometimes to comprehend how far I've come and on days when 90 pounds doesn't seem like all that much, I'd love to put it back it on in that manner.

You've heard, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Keep trying. There are wonderful men out there. In my experience, the best men are the ones you meet as friends first, so take it slow. I've never experienced a man seeing me across the room and then immediately asking me out. It's never happened. My dates have always been with men who have first gotten to know me a little bit. It takes the pressure off too.

And yes, I had the same experience at LB and was quite surprised. That store was always my safe haven. I stepped out of the judgmental streets into this little oasis where everyone was my size and so nice! The salespeople were happy to serve me no matter my size. And then when I was maybe a size 12 or so I walked in with a friend of mine. I was still extremely insecure and at the point didn't know how to dress my new body. I was incredibly uncomfortable in regular stores to the point of near panic attacks. So walking into LB was a kind of relief and I was actually jealous that I couldn't shop there anymore. So to then be completely ignored by the salespeople while they fell all over my friend was disheartening to say the least. I tried to be part of the conversation but they actually turned their back on me! I made sure to get into the conversation how I'd just lost a bunch of weight...and then they were friendly. Yeah, horrible experience.

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Old 02-27-2011, 09:05 AM   #10  
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Um, no. Gotta be honest, what you're experiencing is just life. I'm sure if you think hard enough there are "fat counterparts" to what you're experiencing now. Life doesn't just get easier because you're thin, but some things sure do.

For me there have certainly been things that I don't have to deal with anymore because I'm thin, but new things that I do have to deal with. There's always going to be something, that's just the way the world works. I tell you though, I'll take my thin problems over my fat problems any day!

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Old 02-27-2011, 09:15 AM   #11  
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I just thought I had problems finding clothes when I was a size 16 or 18 and wore XL or XXL shirts. That's NOTHING compared to now. I can never find jeans that fit me and are long enough. I have to shop in juniors for shirts most of the time, so all I can find are teeny-bopper tops or polo shirts. And bras? Don't get me started. When I was a 38D I could find bras anywhere, in a plethora of styles. Now I'm a 32C (and a C only because of excess skin - should be a B or even A)...have to special order plain, full-coverage cotton bras online because stores don't carry them. No cool, sexy styles for me anymore. Oh, and after I wear them for a short time (as in a matter of 1 to 2 weeks) they stretch around the band to the point where they don't fit anymore. I'm BARELY a 32 I guess.

I wish I was bigger again a LOT on shopping trips because they are SO frustrating!!
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:04 AM   #12  
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I have felt that way before and my advice is to try to get that thought (even though you're not serious about it) out of your mind as soon as you can. I gained my weight back and then some. I had lost lots of weight and became pretty cute. I got a bunch of attention (or what felt like a lot to me) and I couldn't handle it. I felt quite insecure and I hate being ogled with a passion. I worked on my body and losing weight, but not on my self-esteem. That was my mistake.

Some men will be jerks no matter what. I say re-think the dating strategy and try something different than what you're doing right now. Maybe even try a dating site so you can at least see if those men are looking for a longer term relationship or not.

@MindiV - Have you tried Ann Taylor Loft before? They're not cheap but they usually have an EXCELLENT clearance rack all the time in their store (probably online too). I found some great stuff there before when I was on a tight budget.
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:13 AM   #13  
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Originally Posted by Dalgishake View Post
Since becoming "hot" I've had more opportunities for dating which has equaled more opportunities for hurt or heartbreak. I've never been lonelier.

It's like people don't see me for me anymore....they see the outside, Tonight.....dumped by someone I really was starting to like...no reason. It was going really well actually. Men can be cruel.
This. For sure. Although I don't know that it necessarily has to do with weight. Even at my highest weight, I'd get attention from men, I'd get asked out, etc. But I always pushed them away because I didn't want to get hurt, and I was happy being single.

Now, I've been trying make an effort with men, because that's what our society says we're supposed to do and I just want to be normal--and it sucks. I met a guy I actually really like, which was a surprise to me. I've started to let him in a bit, and for the past two weeks, things have been really weird between us (and I'm not entirely sure he realizes it), and I've been in total agony. (We will talk about it today!)

Never had to deal with this single. At any weight! I don't know how people do this, get involved with other romantically and then it ends--because it always ends. Only one works, if you're lucky. (Clearly I'm super cynical--don't be discouraged by my outlook!)

So for sure, opening oneself up to the possibility of romantic/sexual relationships inevitably leads to hurt. I can relate!
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:32 AM   #14  
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Originally Posted by JohnP View Post
Old challenged conquered : weight loss
New challenge yet to be mastered : guy picking skills
LOL. That is good advice, John.

Actually, I feel less self confident right now at 199 then I did at 250. I have no idea why. It is like suddenly I see all my flaws, and I do not believe when someone says I am pretty or that I am not as fat as I think. It is really starting to bother my family, and I think I am bugging my friends. I really do dislike my body in my own mind, but it doesn't sound that bad from other people's perspectives.

I guess you have to work on confidence your perception of yourself when you change drastically. I wouldn't want that extra 51lbs back, though.

Last edited by Asherdoodles87; 02-27-2011 at 10:36 AM.
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:40 AM   #15  
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It's about being Healthy, Above all Else!
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