wow thats crazy that it has taken so long.. i mean good job for having the perserverance.. i just dont understand then..how come there are so many people on here that have lost 80 pounds or 90 pounds..how do they do it? How are they there now? How long did it take them? Cause thats where i want to be..

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl:
wow thats crazy that it has taken so long.. i mean good job for having the perserverance.. i just dont understand then..how come there are so many people on here that have lost 80 pounds or 90 pounds..how do they do it? How are they there now? How long did it take them? Cause thats where i want to be..

If you search the maintainers subforum here (go to the main forum page and scroll down) there are plenty of gals who have lost that and more (100+lbs) and maintained it for years. I think you'll find that the vast majority of them took at least a year and have stayed on plan no matter what.

But I disagree that it's crazy to take so long :) What's crazy is our expectation that a person should lose and keep off so much weight without taking a long time to do it. Which is why few people can.

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl:
wow thats crazy that it has taken so long.. i mean good job for having the perserverance.. i just dont understand then..how come there are so many people on here that have lost 80 pounds or 90 pounds..how do they do it? How are they there now? How long did it take them? Cause thats where i want to be..

It's not "crazy that it's taken so long." It's normal and healthy that it's taken so long. What's crazy is thinking that weight loss happens in double-digit losses every week. That works on TV shows on which contestants compete for hundreds of thousands of dollars or on shows that give participants a month-long stay at a fantastic resort, but in real life, weight loss takes months and years, not weeks.

This is a fantastic thread to read if you want to understand the truth of weight loss--that it's a long-term commitment, that any loss should be celebrated, that just staying the same and not gaining should be commended. There are dozens of roads to weight loss and not a single one of them is easy--not weight-loss surgery, not calorie counting, not low-carb, none of them. However, some are easier than others for particular people, so find the method that works for you and just stick to it.

I started my weight loss journey at the end of Oct.2010 and have lost 16 lbs.as of today -definitely in the "slow camp" since I have a lot more to lose. -BUT if I hadn't started when I did -I would have GAINED weight over the holidays for sure-so I consider myself lucky and successful at this point in time. In addition, I enjoy my food program mainly because I eat enough to not feel deprived and haven't binged at all -a MAJOR accomplishment for me.

Great post -since I sometimes feel "out of the loop" when I read about these 2 lbs.(or more)per week losses -Glad for you lucky ones though -wishing everyone continued success -L.

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl:
wow thats crazy that it has taken so long..

Nope, not crazy - reality. It's only "crazy" because we don't hear people doing it, not because they're not, but because it's not acceptable or popular to discuss. Talk about slow weight loss and people's first response isn't congratulations, it's "what took you so long?"

You won't sell a "slow weight loss" book. Those who've tried, have gotten rejected. One weight loss author even admitted that her book was accepted only on the condition that she add a "jump start" phase to her diet (one she had never followed herself).


My MIL actually sent us a "worried" letter about our weights, because we were getting "fatter and fatter" every time she saw us (during this time she accuses us of weight gain, we had actually each lost more than 80 lbs each).

I do think she believed what she was saying. That's what's crazy.

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl:
i just dont understand then..how come there are so many people on here that have lost 80 pounds or 90 pounds..how do they do it? How are they there now? How long did it take them? Cause thats where i want to be..

Some of them took a long time to do it. Some of them didn't. They all were willing to "do it" no matter how long it took (at least the ones who will keep the weight off). A good number of those who took the weight off quickly, will put it back on just as quickly - and most of those people will not come back and announce and write about their failures (at least not loudly and often). We see more of the success stories than the failures, because we've been taught to hide our failures. We talk about our current success, not our ten thousand failures.

When I was much younger, I was able to lose much more rapidly. I just wasn't able to sustain the loss (usually because when the weight loss slowed to less than 1-2 pounds per week - what I thought was "normal" I felt like a failure, and I gave up because I felt like I was failing, when I was just succeeding at a slower pace than I expected and wanted to).


We aren't taught to accept moderate weight loss - we're taught to give up when weight loss stops being impressive. "This is so frustrating," we say (because it's what almost everyone says), and we eventually give up (because it's what almost everyone does).

The slow weight losers have to start speaking up, so people know that it does exist. You do not have to give up when progress is slow. You don't have to make such drastic changes that you feel like you have no room in your life for anything except weight loss.

That's how I dieted in the past, because the only way to pull numbers I wasn't ashamed of was to sacrifice absolutely everything of value in my life. Giving up everything and still only losing 1 or 2 lbs, wasn't just frustrating it was torturous. Torture I could handle if I knew I could be done and over with forever in 6 months, but indefinite torture? Absolutely not! When weight loss slowed to a pound or two a week (a decent loss) I'd start counting the months it would take to reach goal, and calculating whether or not I could stand the torture for the duration. When the answer was "No," I'd give up.

For me, making it "not torture" was the key to making it permanent.

I love this thread and needed it this morning. Thank you! :hug:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For teaching me patience, perseverance, gratitude! I have lost 10 pounds in the last 9 months and it has been a very up and down but since beginning of the year it has been a steady slow loss and my goal for the summer months is to lose 2-3 more pounds because i am totally powerless over losing big weight! It does not happen to me, I lose it and i put it back on! So thank you for letting me know your figures and to be prepared that losing a pound every two months is a success! That is in fact almost half a stone for the year so yay!!! We can do it!

I also recently posted my goal picture thread where I lost barely 10lbs in 6 months but did lots of weight training daily and made a big body composition change.

Might be of interest for some of you featherweights who are getting low on the scale and still worried about the #'s rather than body composition :)

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...st-partum.html

I love this thread. We've got to keep it going so it becomes a permanent fixture here. We've got to get the word out that slow weight loss is perfectly normal. If you can (AND WANT TO) lose rapidly, that's wonderful (and there are plenty of places here to brag), but we need a place for the rest of us (and I still suspect we're a silent majority).

How many of us have given up because we didn't feel like we were measuring up, that all the effort for such small results just doesn't feel worth it.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "If I'm not losing (whatever) per week, I must be doing it wrong," and eventually I'd think "at this rate, I'll never be thin." Leading, of course to the fatal "If I'm going to be fat anyway, why should I not get to eat what I want."

It's that all-or-nothing mentality that kills us. If I can't lose it all (as quickly as I want) why bother at all?

It isn't like it's "rocket-science," we do tell each other to "hang in there," but most of us don't. I don't think it's because we're morons (especially when we're so smart in other areas of our lives). I think it's because we never SEE or hear about slow success. We don't realize how many people are struggling just as much as we are. We don't brag about slow weight loss.

I can't tell you how many times I've "apologized" for my weight loss speed just here on 3FC. Someone sent me a pm asking me to be a mentor because of my amazing weight loss, and wanting someone to help her really buckle down and lose quickly (these aren't exact words, this is just the impression left in my memory). In response, I pointed out that it had taken me 6 years to lose those 88 lbs, so while I would be glad to offer what support I could, that full-steam-ahead, bootcamp style of weight loss support wasn't something I could provide. I never heard back, so I don't know why, but of course I do wonder whether it was because slow weight loss is so undervalued. We've been taught to see it as virtually worthless.

Impatience is built into the system. Almost no one talks about slow weight loss, except to complain about it. No one brags about losing 10 lbs in a year, but they should because most people don't do it.

My husband is a great support. He really doesn't seem to be in such a rush to the finish line. He makes the changes he's willing to make, and appreciates the results. Maybe it's because he's never really dieted before meeting me. He hasn't absorbed all of the "diet culture" that females are often immersed in almost from birth (whether or not they have a weight issue). When I start whining that "at this rate, it will take me 10 to 15 years to lose all the weight I want to," and he'll say "and what will you weigh in 10 or 15 years if you give up?" I then add in my head "will I even be alive in 10 or 15 years if I give up, and if so what kind of life would it be?"

I won't go back to what it was. Sleeping 20 hours a day, and unable to walk up more than 6 steps without getting winded. Having to use a motorized cart in Walmart, and still being too tired to finish the shopping.

People ask "how did you let it get that bad?" It's a fair question, but a misguided one. In a very real sense, I dieted away my health. Crash dieting was the only way I knew to diet, but I could never maintain the pace. I'd inevitably give up and regain more than I lost. My life was slowly eroded by the crash diet cycle - sacrifice everything until you can't stand it any more, give up, regain everything and then some - get sick of it and crash diet again (only this time the same calorie level results in smaller, slower weight loss), get sick of the slow progress, start all over again.

I had to learn to lose weight differently, and I think if I had learned sooner (like in my 20's), I wouldn't have had to settle for such slow weight loss. But I didn't learn sooner, so I'm stuck with what I've got. I could probably double my weight loss if I were willing to go back to the old way, but I stropngly suspect that dieting the old way, would result in the same old pattern. Every once in a while I have to prove it to myself. I'll try to "buckle down" and it usually backfires. Luckily I'm learning and adjusting faster. I don't let a slip become a landslide, but it sometimes does feel like I'm the only one taking this path (well I've got to count hubby in this too, but he's not even interested in losing faster, so it seems to me that he doesn't count. Of course I should be ashamed for thinking that way, but it's just so darned ingrained to think "I should be losing faster, why aren't I losing faster, why aren't I willing to sacrifice more, longer?"

When you say you're ok with slow weight loss (and I try to be ok with slow weigh loss because it's the only weight loss that I've been able to sustain, and right now it's the only wieght loss that I've been able to attain) you're accused of being "less than" in so many ways - less willing, less motivated, less committed, lazier, weaker, making excuses...).

Ok I'm ranting and rambling so I'll just stop now.

Well said kaplods :)

An "all or nothing... RIGHT NOW attitude" is what sells a billion dollar industry with only extra pounds to show for it.

3 years and 4 months to lose 28 pounds. 40 months. Point seven pounds a month. I did lose it, stop paying attention, gain some of it back, re-lose it.
Point seven pounds a month is actually faster than I thought I've been doing! I am much happier losing .7 pounds a month than gaining 1-2 pounds a month. Much!

Thank goodness my scale has half pounds on it. When I had a full pound only scale, a month's loss could have not even registered!

This is a great thread. I too, am a slow loser, but partially by choice. 40 pounds since I joined end of July 2009. It's gone up and down a few pounds here or there, but nothing drastic. I don't want to give up every little thing and have this be a diet mentality. I am changing my eating habits for healthier ones, but if I want to get chicken crisps on the rare occasions that I go out for dinner (think once or twice a month) I will. I find I'll end up bringing half (or more) of it home anyways and having it for another one or two meals, or send it for my dad's lunch for work. I don't want to be thin, but lusting after every food out there. I want to be healthier and happier. I'd rather lose slowly and enjoy the treats that I allow myself.

I am loving this thread.

I am also a "slow" loser, except for a week when I had the flu and couldn't keep anything down.

But, and here it is, I could lose faster if I were to repeat my mistakes of the past- and then the quick regain of lost pounds when I couldn't sustain the lifestyle would furthur damage my metabolism. I too have had an all or nothing mentality, and I truly believe I have an almost addictive response to certain foods. So my challenge is to do something I can live with forever.

I hope this thread stays in the forefront. What a lovely and hopeful place.
I usually chase Kaplod's posts around the forum for my "fix" of commonsense hope.

i absolutely love this thread too! i'm am positive this was a very much needed resource for so many lurkers out there.

i was a fairly fast loser, in the beginning. but even if your body can handle quick losses, sometimes the mind can't. i kept getting just under 200, or close to it and overeating. i had to stop, do some mental hw to figure things out for awhile. i had some issues with getting under that certain number. we all have those numbers in our head. oh i can't get below that, oh i just can't. or if i got below that weight, then...i don't know, it's like we've lost our security blanket i guess sometimes. anyway, ever since july/aug last yr, i've decided it's not a plateu. i'm simply maintaining. i'm happy to keep the weight off. even if i don't lose another pound, i'm happy to just keep the weight off. even just a few days ago, i said i'm not that concerned with the weight. i just want to improve the muscle. get healthier.

i love, love, love reading the wealth of info i get from reading all of your histories, and stories, and just such a wealth of information. i always feel like i know everything about healthy food, and alot about exercising, and then i read so many of the 3fc posts and go, oh i never knew that about certain kinds of salt additives, or oh i'll have to be careful about that. or, oh i should try that too! there is just so much to learn, so much to be thankful for. i'm just happy to help anyone i can on here.

goodforme, I'm jealous because you can wear a size 14. I guess that's what happens when you exercise. LOL