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-   -   being thin means healthy NOT beauty!!! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/225202-being-thin-means-healthy-not-beauty.html)

astrophe 02-09-2011 02:06 PM

Next time speak up in the moment.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's not a secret I like brunettes more than blondes, and I have a thing for tall over short. So what? Other people like other characteristics.

Even if your friend has a thing for thin, what she said hurt your feelings.

She can like whatever aesthetics she likes, but it's no call to hurt your feelings with it.

She could have just said "Look! I found us in the old days! Time flies, huh?" and been a lot more tactful.

But don't you get hung up on whatever she's hung up on.

While it's true that plus size is plus size and not plus is not plus just like blonde is blonde and brunette is brunette... you CAN be pretty at whatever size or color.

Being overweight does NOT mean you are ugly!

A.

QuilterInVA 02-09-2011 03:04 PM

Next time tell her thin doesn't necessarily = healthy. There are thin people with too much body fat, malnutrition (and some fat people also have it) and other ailments. Beauty comes from inside. The outside package changes with age. Hopefully she'll get wrinkled soon!

Nola Celeste 02-09-2011 03:48 PM

I see what y'all are saying, and believe me, vanity's a motivator for me too. I do think I look better at a lower weight as well, so I'm not claiming that everyone looks just the same big or little.

I guess what I mean is that far too often, we forget to appreciate the present-day person and how beautiful she is. Do you remember being in high school, maybe at a lower weight, maybe even at a normal weight, and thinking, "Ugh, I'm sooooo fat and ugly!?" I do, and it kills me to think that as a non-smoker at 140 pounds with nary a wrinkle or sag in sight for fifteen years, I failed to appreciate it and thought that beauty awaited me thirty pounds away.

We can still legitimately call ourselves beautiful at higher weights even as we want to look better at lower weights. If that means you start off an 8 and wind up a 10, hey, that's even better, right? :)

Yeah, there comes a time for each of us that the weight starts affecting our own perceptions of beauty. But there's just no excuse for someone else (let alone a "friend") to comment on a 40-pound weight gain meaning a loss of beauty, especially to the OP who is clearly a knockout. There had better be one whale of an apology forthcoming from that friend, because there's just no excuse for that.

JessLess 02-12-2011 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lackadaisy (Post 3702215)
Actually, I think our society places too much weight on being beautiful.

Beauty is both arbitrary and costly. We're all lookists, even if we're not sizists. There are smart and stupid beautiful people, kind and cruel ones, and it's ridiculous that people (especially women) are judged by the standard of beauty first, life second.

I hate when thin girls call fat girls "ugly," but I hate when fat girls call thin girls "ugly," too. Your friend definitely should not have been talking about thin as if it were equal to beautiful, but who cares if you were "more beautiful" then by the standards of someone other than your husband?

I just had to say... RIGHT ON!

There are also plenty of thin unhealthy people and fat healthy people and what matters is what YOU want for yourself. Period.


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