Oh my gosh, I felt possessed yesterday!
 

Okay, so I am just going along on my plan, losing weight, amazed by my awesome plan because it is so satisfying and sustainable. I'm never really "hungry" much anymore, and honestly every once in awhile I feel like, "I haven't lost to goal yet, still a long way to go, but I SO have this figured out!

Yesterday I completely lost control, and nothing I told myself did any good. It was like an out of body experience!

I ate breakfast, and still thought, I'm starving! Waited till lunchtime and had my delicious planned and portioned lunch, and while I was eating it I kept thinking, this ain't gonna cut it. (It was a nice lunch of turkey meatballs on spinach and a big salad -- the kind of thing I eat all the time and do just fine with).

After lunch, I made it a couple hours then started in on a 1/4 serving of raw almonds. I don't usually feel the need to snack, but thought that might tide me over. I went back for almonds 3 more times! By 4pm I was asking hubby to get Subway for dinner. We don't eat that early usually, and I already KNOW Subway makes me starve. But I used the guise "I don't feel like cooking".

I wolfed down a whole footlong roast beef sub (with no cheese or sauces! and on wheat bread :p), and I was still ravenous. I guess I could feel the sub in my tummy, but it didn't seem to relate to fullness at all. Within an hour I was in the kitchen getting myself a cold chicken breast and a huge apple. Ate that. Still obsessed with the thought of food.

I went up and had a rice crispy treat hubby had made. I know, get rid of stuff like that so you can't eat it! But honestly that sort of thing rarely even gets a thought from me. Within a couple hours I had another one of those, PLUS a granola bar, PLUS a big spoonful of peanut butter. Then I was done with my binge. :o

My thoughts on WHY this happened. First, lately I have been really trying to pay much more attention to my calories to get the losses going strong again after a couple weeks of no losses. In the process, I have cut back on my usually hearty breakfast. Maybe not a good idea. Second, my daughter has been home sick from school for days, and while I did really well keeping on plan those first few days, I guess holing up in the house, on the couch watching movies (my previous favorite activity to do while eating) caught up with me and I got my old mindset back of laying around like a slug and eating like there was no tomorrow. I think the second part is the big factor. My daughter is staying home again today as she had fevers off and on yesterday, but she got some antibiotics from the doc yesterday, so I'm hoping she's better very soon. She's usually a very active little pixie, and she's been laid out on the couch, but today I'm going to go about my business and DEFINITELY stay right on my plan.

Sorry this is so long, I felt the need to "get it out". It was very scary for me to lose control like that after I've been doing just fine for so many months now. Makes me realize how very close I am all the time to just going back to the old ways, even when I tell myself all the right things. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, not today anyway! :(

You know, on the scale of things, you might call that a binge now, but it doesn't sound like that bad of a day.

Think about how much you might have eaten on a day like that, back before you started your plan. I am willing to bet this was a much, much lighter day than one of those!

You're doing fine - I know I have days like that, you can just dust yourself off and move on. If you do, it might not even slow you down too much!

Call your priest for an exorcism...because today it's time to chase away the demons and get back to business!

I had those days every so often last month when I was first on the plan. Even off the plan, I can remember some days when I just never felt full. If I feel something like that coming on, I try to immediate drink a whole liter of carbonated water. The carbonation helps me to feel full, surprisingly.

I think what carter said hit the nail on the head - you're going to have days where you go over plan, but if you stay with healthier foods then they'll beat most any day pre-lifestyle change. It's good that you're identifying possible reasons behind this behavior, but don't beat yourself up over it because it's already happened. Focus on getting back on track today :)

Shannon, the other day: "CARBS! CARBS! FAT AND CARRRRRRRBBBBBS!!!!"

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...tDu0rrlb9-09dw

Shannon, reading replies to her "confessional" post on 3FC, as we all say: "Bless you, my child. Go forth & binge no more."

http://www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/05-0...s/Exorcist.jpg

Seriously, if you saw someone so stressed & preoccupied that she was about to explode, a friend at the edge of her ability to cope, what would you tell her?

How would you advise her to blow off steam without harming herself or any innocent bystanders?

That's what you need to think about.

When this comes up on you, recognize it as a Red Alert time, and think about exactly what you should do when your head is about to explode.

Because it wasn't your stomach. It was your head, of course.

I don't think it was that bad, you could have done a lot worse. Just return to your usual way of eating and forget it.

I get the "snacking monster" every once in a while. There's no rhyme or reason to why. I can't relate it to hormones or even stress. Sometimes I just have a day when food does not satisfy my true hunger. Sometimes I fight it and sometimes I give into it. In the grand scheme of things though, those days have not slowed me down. Usually the next day is better.

I feel for you though. ;) It's hard to have a day like that because in the moment it feels like this is going to become your new normal, you feel weak, out of control and in fear of putting all the weight back on. But in reality, tomorrow is another day.

Shannon,

You fell down, picked yourself back up, dusted yourself off and continued on. AWSOME!! :carrot:


Larry,
----------------
Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

That's why I'm not following a strict plan. I have healthy foods all around me and I'm eating for hunger. Some days, I'm just hungry. Two days ago I was STARVING. I ate about 1900 calories that day as I just needed to eat more. The next day, I wasn't very hungry at all, I ate 1300 calories, next day 1400 when usually I eat around 1700. Our bodies are not machines. I also have been having a beef craving. I'm listening to that craving as it usually means I'm missing iron. While I eat TONS of leafy greens, sometimes I need beef. So, I made a healthy pot roast (no gravy), then I made a vegetable beef soup and now I'm feeling that beef monster is fed.

When I really was trying to stick to a strict daily plan, I finally lost all control and gained it all back. I felt like I was watching myself from outside my body. I just couldn't control this monster who demanded to be fed. That scared me so darn much, I didn't try to lose weight again for a decade. I don't want to control food. I want to be in a place where food has no power over me. Which is why I also don't have a deadline. If it takes me five years - OK... fine... it's still coming off, and it's still good for me. I don't want to get to that scary out of body monster experience again. It wasn't a day for me (that happens to everyone - as sometimes we're just hungry, period!), but it was weeks, months... scary stuff.

I read some of the "binges" that people have on here and think that if only people knew what my binges include, they would feel so much better about themselves, hehe. Everything that you ate yesterday, I could eat at once and that would just be my warm up round. When I get that possessed zombie feeling (and I so know the feeling), I go absolutely nuts. Whole pizzas, a dozen cookies, several sandwiches, etc...I've gone to the gas station, bought some bags of candy, and systematically ate them. You probably went over maintenance calories by a couple hundred...I eat beyond maintenance by several thousand on my bad days.

Anyways, I guess I share that to let you know that it could be so so so much worse, certainly not to belittle what you are feeling. Because I definitely understand the out of control feeling. It's like being in a car that's stuck on cruise control at 80mph going through downtown. And then it's over, you feel full and sick and sluggish and ashamed and guilty and frustrated that you undid all your hard work. The whole thing is just not fun.

But, like I said, your bad day wasn't all that catastrophic, really. I bet it won't hardly make a blip in your weight loss progress. I am actually a firm believer that our bodies benefit from a big eating day sometimes (within reason...yours was within reason, my big days are not). It revs the metabolism. If anything, it gives you an experience to reflect on when you start to feel out of control. Embrace the guilt and frustration you're feeling now and remember how eating like that made you feel. And how much better it feels to be on plan.

I think Berry makes a good point, some days we just require more food. I had a day like that on Sunday, unfortunately it wasn't as healthy as your choices were, it was a chain of bad guys; Waffle House, McDonalds and Papa Johns, 3 places I haven't eaten at in a very long time. But the day after I still felt full and ended up eating less the my daily average. I believe that as long as you are cognizant of your hunger your body will balance it out.

You are doing an awesome job, keep it up.

Ah, some words of wisdom for me. LOVE the Exorcism pics, Saef, seriously that was sweet of you to dig those up and take the time to post them. All of you, really, just for reading my long "confession" and lifting me up.

Eliana, that IS how I felt. Like, OH NO, it's BAAACCKKKK, it's the end, my "new normal" is gone, I can't control this, how can it all go up in smoke in the blink of an eye? Panic, really. And since yes, this whole thing IS all about my head, those feelings make me want to eat MORE. It really wasn't even at all about the amount of food, or that they were semi-relatively-not so bad choices all in all, it was about that feeling out of control with it that freaked me right out.

Well, I shall use this as one of the MANY learning experiences I have had along the way. I'm back to my more-filling breakfast, as it seems cutting there is not the way to go for me. I had a kick-:devil: butt workout this morning and feel "new normal" again.

Thank you again, I hope everyone realizes how much I appreciate your time and wisdom! :hug:

The last 2 posts were while I was posting, but I did want to thank you girls, too. Especially for reminding me that the "binge" barely qualifies compared to what I used wolf down in no time flat when the mood struck. It REALLY helps me to know that I am not the only person who has this monster to deal with, and that others who do as well can be successful. SUPER successful!!

have you tried doing other activities once you've realized you're not really hungry?

drinking green tea or other hot low cal. beverage. many swear by diet hot cocoa.

form NEW healthy habits. go for a walk after dinner(when it's warmer), exercise. whatever activity you enjoy. keep track of your exercise. mins, what you did, even a simple x that you did it that day. whatever works for you.

read. it doesn't burn many cal, but a great fantasy novel will really take you places.

have a dance party with your daughter!

and remember, everything is going to be ok. it's all in your head.

I agree w/ some of the other poeple.. yes it was a binge.. but you could have done waaay worse. And you are super inspiring, you didnt let one bad day throw you off the horse. So congratulations for that, and for the weight you have already lost!