Whatever you do don't give up!!! Even if you freakout and eat a whole pizza or gain 5 pounds, just don't stop!! I lost over 100 pounds and I let my jerky ex-boyfriend ruin my health by listening to him. Now I've gained back 80 pounds, but I'm not giving up! I'm going to lose it again. You keep doing what you know is right and be SUPER proud of what YOU'VE accomplished and don't let what anybody else says or does take that away from you! You only fail if you quit!
You sound like me!! I always had a tendency to make weight loss too hard! I worked my rear end off and ate very restrictive diets and for what? My girlfriend who did it with me always lost faster than I did. So I threw up my hands and gave up! Repeat. So this time I took a deep breath and decided that what I needed to do was create something sustainable for ME and try to let others do what worked for them.
So this time with the gym, which I do love, I created a baseline of must-do activity no matter what. (Except maybe crying the through the middle of it. ) For me that's spinning M/W/F and lifting T/TH. I can add stuff to it. Next week I'm starting a challenge of adding a 3 mile run before spin class and I usually do cardio on my lifting days as well. But when that becomes too hard, and it will because it means getting up at 4:40!!, I will back down to baseline; easy.
As for the diet, just make sure what you are doing is sustainable for life. South Beach didn't work for me because I knew I was dieting. What I am doing now works. I'm loosely calorie counting, with a heavy emphasis on portions. I knew from the start journaling was not going to be a way of life for me, so I didn't even start. Journaling is just another thing I can make too hard and quit.
Finally, celebrate your successes in whatever timeline you reach them! Set yourself a goal of being on plan for X number of months or a year! That in and of itself is a huge accomplishment and if you can do that, the weight loss will follow.
For some of us, weight loss is not linear. I stall all the time!! But the weight does come off because I am extremely persistent.
Stop discussing ALL numbers with your family - weight, pounds lost, food eaten, calories burned, etc. Tell them it's off limits, not up for discussion and taboo.
Just concentrate on yourself. You can't compare bodies with other people or you'll go mad.
If they start bringing it up remind them that it's off the table and if they continue then hang up/leave the room/unfriend them/etc.
This is what I was going to say. Amazing advice, Seagirl. I should ask my friend who is having trouble to heed it as well. She's not been losing and has been ranting about my small loss sometimes. Not angrily but in sad desperation. I keep having to remind her that we're in two different bodies and that though I am losing slow for all my mistakes I am still over a hundred pounds heavier than she is. Or was, you know. And the fat tends to come off a bit more dramatically.
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you all so much. You all gave me such great advice.
I didn't give up...completely. But I sunk down quite a bit and let myself get very upset. I kindof hid away and just stopped talking to my family for like almost 2 weeks. Which is just not the right way to handle it.
It is difficult. I don't want to like admit defeat, or that I am weak, or not perfect to them even more so when I am feeling down by them. So trying to tell them hey I don't wanna talk about weight loss anymore has me in a panic.
But something kindof clicked for me where I can see that we are just not on the same page with it all. I am just getting over a nasty stomach flu. I talked to them and told them how sick I was and how I couldn't keep anything down. And like the first thing my sister says is well you will lose a ton of weight this week then. eh... and my mom says -yeah i hate throwing up too that is why i could never have bulimia.
I know they do not do it on purpose. They are not evil. We are all really close and I consider them my best friends. I think they are just not realizing how it makes me feel and that perhaps we approach it differently.
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Originally Posted by Eurydice
I don't know how understanding and supportive your family is, but if you think they'd be the kind to listen and not hold it against you, you could let them know the problems that you're having with all this. It sounds like you're being super supportive of them, and they don't know what's going on with you.
I think you are right on with that. I know they love me and I should be able to talk to them and let them know that I am having a hard time and not worry about them thinking bad about me for it. They love me through it all.
I think I will just talk to them and try to be honest. let them know I am having a rough time and need to just focus on myself for some time. I won't lie I still have some apprehension. Like I'd like to say lets share and motivate and be encouraging but lets leave all the weight and numbers out of it. But idk if I can bring myself to say that either lol.
I just really wanted to thank you all so much. It has been a difficult road for me. and I am so glad every single day that I have found this website. You guys have been a shining light of hope and encouragement in my darkest times. I read alot more then I post but when I do post I always find just the most uplifting and loving support. Thank you. I just hope everyone knows how much that little bit has really touched my life & keep me from not giving up on so much.
If you're working out 6 days a week, I would hazard a guess that while the pounds may not be flying off, I bet your in FAR better shape!! I bet if you compared inches lost with your family, as opposed to pounds lost, you'd be leading by a long shot.
You're doing it the right way, chin up, and keep trecking!! In the end, your way of losing will prove to be more beneficial, it's just going to take a while for that to be obvious
It is so much harder for some of us then others. Just try to focus on yourself. As you lose weight you will feel so much better about yourself and be able to deal with all sorts of problems so much better. I used to hve crazy sccreaming fits at my child and I can't remember the last time I have lost it like that. I think getting all that junk food out of my system cleard out my brain. I function better. Stick to a clean meal plan and exercise and worry about your own results.
Trying to lose weight has a lot of emotion wrapped up into it. I have felt anger, and resentment over all kinds of things, like watching my husband eat fast food and candy and still lose weight when I won't let anything off plan pass my lips! I have had awful emotional swings too, when I felt so alone and so far away from goals. It's part of change, part of dealing with relationships and finding our new place in it all.
I hope you find some peace with it all. All I can say is roll with it, this whole thing is for you and about you ONLY. In the end it only matters that you achieve your goals, no matter how long it takes. Competition doesn't work for me, so it may be something you might want to drop out of, letting your mother and sister know it puts too much stress on you. You might want to find your own path to take.
After reading about your situation in the first post, I do see a lot of similarities in some of the situations I have. First and foremost, it appears your sister and mother are not providing the kind of (or any) support for you that you need. It sounds like they turn the discussion back towards themselves and their accomplishments or their feelings.
If you can't talk to them about this, can you just accept that this is the way they are and they are not and never will be the people to whom you should reveal a lot of your personal diet achievements and struggles?
Can you listen to your Mom say "she was told she was normal weight to being 10lbs underweight and is talking about how fat she still is" but hear the extreme need for compliments and praise because she feels inferior and doesn't think positively about herself?
Can you listen to your sister tell you "how oh no I messed up and drank pepsi all week, ate nachos & ate out 3 times and lost 2-3+ lbs" but hear the fear of failure and jealousy she has for you and that you weigh less and are already closer to goal than her?
Maybe they are not being as supportive as you need because they unconsciously see themselves as weak and see you as stronger and more capable and full of determination and will power and therefore requiring little of their support.
Oy, weight loss and family relationships...there's a topic for a doctorate thesis.
I hope you're feeling better now, moonkissed. I have nothing new to add to what's already been said here, but hang on and don't give up. It's not easy to lose 15 pounds and the fact that you've done that already speaks volumes on how strong and determined a person you are.
Ugh, that's a seriously hard place to be in. I definitely sympathize with you. I will say that you are stronger than you think you are.
One thing that helps me is to stop comparing yourself to other people. People are different, that's just life. Someone may flip their hair and lose 50lbs and you might work your *** off for 10 years to lose the same amount. That's not an excuse not to do it. It sucks but there's nothing you can do about how other people function. It's something you just have to accept as an inevitability: there will be things in life that are 100x harder for you than for other people. It might be math, driving, golf, making friends, typing, or losing weight. You can let it break you down and let the jealousy consume you or you can chalk it up to the genetic dice roll and keep doing you.
For what it's worth, you're already doing more than most people do by working hard to achieve a goal and making progress towards it!
So this time I took a deep breath and decided that what I needed to do was create something sustainable for ME and try to let others do what worked for them. 
) For me that's spinning M/W/F and lifting T/TH. I can add stuff to it. Next week I'm starting a challenge of adding a 3 mile run before spin class and I usually do cardio on my lifting days as well. But when that becomes too hard, and it will because it means getting up at 4:40!!, I will back down to baseline; easy.
I stall all the time!! But the weight does come off because I am extremely persistent.
