Originally Posted by Shmead:
This is long, but I swear it is one thing.
Developing a plan that is easy to stick to, and sticking to it 100%.
The problem with dieting is that every time we go off plan, we immediately get a reward: a yummy bit of food, or an extra hour in bed. This reinforces going off plan. The rewards for staying on plan are much more abstract and take longer to see.
If every time a child misbehaves, you were to give them a cupcake but yell and scream to make them feel guilty, but good behavior was rewarded only after weeks and months (even with something awesome), you'd see more bad behavior than good. The positive reinforcement of the cupcake would be more powerful than the negative reinforcement of the guilt and shame, and the "good" rewards are too distant to be worth trying for. You'd also have a ****ed up kid, because that sort of emotional roller coaster is no way to live your life.
We dieters do this to ourselves. Every time we go off plan we "pay" for it with guilt and shame and remorse and "accountability posts", but before that, we get the joy of eating the whatever. The rewards for sticking on plan take longer to manifest, and it's harder, on an emotional level, to see the connection between good choices and a different body.
So it's important to never, ever go off plan. But the trick to that is not "more will power", it's "more realistic plan". Better to plan to eat 1600 a day and really do it than to plan to eat 1200, fall off the wagon a couple times in the week (getting rewarded with a cheeseburger and fries once and a big piece of chocolate cake the next time), beat yourself up, and end up at that same 1600 calories.
A strict plan is self indulgent. It allows for the classic Sunday-night dieter's fantasy "I'm gonna be so good. I'm only gonna eat X and Y and Z and the weight will fall off and my mom will be so impressed and I'm going to look so good", but when it falls apart, it teaches us worse habits than we started with. It teaches us that weakness brings an addictive emotional roller coaster of joy and shame.
THIS IS SO AWESOME.
I never thought about it before, but I agree with it completely.
For me, what makes it possible to do this is to be committed to being healthy and losing weight.
The commitment means putting my health and body first, by prioritizing my exercising (I will avoid social engagements if they fall at the same time as my exercise, I make everyone work around me in that area) and my food plan (even if I pay more for fruits and vegetables, I'll spend $6.99 for strawberries because it's much better than spending $3 for a box of cookies, I'll choose the healthy option on the menu, I'll preplan/pre-cook my foods).
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