ok im thinking positive..haha
 

I will be the first to admit that im a neggative poster!

sorry for that. I am a very stressed out mother of 2 that doesnt feel apprecreiated, sound familiar??? ok enough. I am up for the challenge for valentines,and also im in on the kind word about ourself.Its harder to do than we think, but i think it will be fun!!!
We are our worst cridit,ever how you spell that word??

FROGGER... i know what you mean about getting seriouse, consider this) your kick in the butt...(:stress: now, i dident kick you that hard!) haha and feel free to kick mine. Im tired of playing games with my mind. next monday, next week, after christmas, my new years resolution, you name it ive done them all to myself. Its over. i got my before photo back and man, pichures dont lie. ( i wish they did). good luck on your wedding.

see you all next time, take care friends.
_________________________________________
phrase for the day...If i stayed disiplined last year, i'd be at my goal this year!!!!!:(

Self Kindness
 

... what a concept! A good idea for a support theme!

I think what we are doing is a great example of Self Kindness, or showing that we love ourselves. Putting ourselves on the path of improvement MUST mean that we love ourselves, and getting healthy is CERTAINLY being kind to ourselves, don't you all think?

I like that thought... what I love about myself is my dedication to taking care of my health: eating right, exercising, taking my vitamins, getting my blood pressure down, etc...

Another example of self kindness or love: cultivating new friends or support. If we didn't care about ourselves, we wouldn't take the time to participate in this forum!

So that means: WE ALL LOVE OURSELVES! Yahoo! (And you were feeling low about succumbing to that tempting Christmas cookie. :lol: )

So You Keep Loving Yourself... And Enjoy the Rewards of that Love...

OK OK ... it's getting time to get out the boots (the muck is getting too deep for the slippers!). ... Let's wrap this one up before someone reports me to a moderator! :lol: (YIKES!)

(I'll try to keep a lid on it next time!)


Have a great night, all!

From the Aspiring Psychoanalyst, :)

All this self-love talk and a Valentine's Challenge....I can't help but think "Love Handles" :D :lol: :p

Anyone else in a "bah humbug" kinda mood? I'm SO not into the holidays this year....haven't done any shopping for my daughter or hubby yet. Just finished wrapping the mail packages to drop off tomorrow....sure, they'll get there in time....:shrug: I dunno...its partly being sick for the last 16 days (yes, I'm counting!), partly hating my job, partly that we have no family to spend time with this year because my only uncle here is gone to Florida for the winter. For the last five years (since I moved here) we've spent Christmas day at my aunt & uncle's house with them, my two cousins and their families. It's just us this year.

Ah well...it's just another day....it will come and go like they all do.

Night falleth ...
 

Yo! Yo! Yo! (sorta like ho, ho, ho, for grinches)! :)

Interesting talk of self-love here and very appropriate to Amarantha. Had lunch with the most charming man (I was interviewing him) and he was very into self-esteem and motivation. Felt quite buoyed up by his positivity and here my cronies are at 3FC talking about loving ourselves!!! Amarantha already loveth herself, though, so needing to find someone else to love her, too! Old Dog loves her and Silly Cat, also. Well, maybe Silly Cat just lusts after the food Amarantha provides, but with Dog, it is definetely love!

Jadequest going well. Will report on journal!

Eydie: Amarantha wouldst never hate thee!!! Sigh, would like a vacation also, though!

Re the journal icons, Amarantha hath also noticed they are gone. I've bookmarked the journal page but unless someone has a lot of posts or a lot of views or one happens to catch them on the "most recent posts" list, there doesn't seem to be a way to find their journals and I like to read the ones from here also.

Autumn: I do agree that getting healthy is the best way, really, to be kind to ourselves. And, when we are kind to ourselves, it is easier to be kind to others. So I think we must continue upon this path of self-improvement. In fact, I think self-improvement, the perfecting of self, is what life is about ... I express this a lot to myself through fantasy and goal setting (such as the jadequest thing) but I am dead serious about that. To me, getting healthy, implemented by in some cases a weight loss program, is an act of spirituality.

No muck ever gets too deep for us Elvettes to handle, Autumn! :)

Wildfire: Amarantha be always in a bah humbug mood!! :) Amarantha also hateth her job! :) There should be a club for people like us! :) But hope thee feeleth really better soon and haveth a wonderful Christmas despite it all!!!

Can't stop typing exclamation points! It's a disease!!!!!

Senamay: Amarantha doth not find thee a negative poster, so no apologies needed!!! :cb: Notice how we all keep saying we won't apologize anymore and we keep apologizing? Amarantha be the worst offender!!!

Scooby: Methinks the exercise of posting what we love about ourselves would be a good idea for the Valentine thread, along with stating goals! Doesn't sound hokey to me, but nothing sounds hokey to Amarantha!!!

Punkin: A, uh, Valentine's Day challenge soundeth good (wouldn't think of calling it VD, heaven forfend!)! Can we get that up right after Christmas? Breaks between challenges make Amarantha nervous! I'd been thinking of a one-week Christmas to New Year's Blitz, but if the Valentine's goes up right after Christmas, that'd serve the same function.

Amarantha doth appreciate thy laughter recommendation. Don't have a satellite dish (tv be a nightlite in this house) but will check out this Graham Norton. Something was making Amarantha laugh the other day and she noteth that extreme laughter really does make one feel much better. Has to be good for what ails us.

Frogger: Also adding congratulations on thy forthcoming marriage. Thou will be beautiful at whatever weight thou walketh down the aisle, methinks! :)

Arabella: Be thou out there? :wave: How's it going?

To All: Have a wonderful and on program rest of the night!!! :wave: I would sing a Christmas carol but making up a theme song for my Jadequest as I was driving to interviews today taxed all my creative powers! I told the man I was interviewing about the song and he wanted me to sing it in the restaurant!!! Yikes! Too bad he's married! :cb:

Frogger:

Addendum: The journal icons are back. Also, Frogger, I don't know why thy name appears on the bottom of my post ... I'm not going to analyze it! :)

Wonderful Wednesday!
 

Hello All!!

Pedal to the metal continues! At least through today- Toastmaster's Holiday Luncheon, my 'team' at the job having a holiday Secret Santa Pizza Party after work-- I've got to finish wrapping, pick up the ice, flowers and ..... a new item to the list....
COUGH DROPS--- the good news is that after today, the schedule opens up again- ---At least this cold's timing had some consideration.

I quickly scrolled thru the postings and did a lot of head nodding but will have to respond later -- You know I'm never one for short replies!!

Have to admit, this nonstop pace has made that old reflex of " that looks good, grab it" become very loud in my head-- But I've done ok so far-- My secret santa left me my favorite yesterday -- they must have really searched-- Cannolis! Mini ones! But I am so spoiled! Once you've had them from a real Italian bakery, you are spoiled-- So, after trying one (my Santa was watching!) I offered to share, and then once I got to the car, tried another ( Just to be sure!) but sadly, I am so spoiled--- the remainder had to be set free !! To live out the remainder of their days....
It's hard when you draw a name of someone you don't know very well- you hear a remark and think " Oh, I'll get that.." Its so nice to know they took the time to find out my favorite but it was a narrow escape for me- because as I've said before, I am helpless with a good cannoli.

Anyway- I think I am following a trend and I can't agree more,

Today's thought is:

"Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not" -- Samuel Johnson

To the best choices!

Good Morning ladies!!! Here's my update from our office christmas party last night. My feet are sore. The End.



No just kidding!! Feet are sore though, between walking to catch the metro and walking to the club and dancing the last hour of the night IN HEELS. My dogs are barking!!!
Anyway, I lived up to my goals for the evening. I had 3 jack and cokes and 4 meatballs and 1 chicken wing. (The food was not the greatest) I didn't make an arse out of myself (at least I don't think I did!!!) AND I had fun. I never go out by myself to hang out or party I always have my fiance with me. He didn't want to go so I went anyway. It was nice just to hang out with my work friends.
We also had that little get together for the whole building yesterday afternoon. I ate a turkey sandwhich rollup wheel. 2 jumbo shrimp, 4 crackers w/colby cheese slices (I think it was colby anyway) a bite of spinach quiche and a pointer finger sized some kind of filo dough and chocolate thingy almost like baklava but not quite.
I woke up 1 and a half whole lbs lighter today than yesterday according to my scale.
Today is our little section's secret santa party/christmas pissa party. I'm prepared. I brought with me a salad and I'll have a slice of pizza and a cookie. That's my lunch goal for today.
This morning I was weird and ate a bologne and cheese sandwhich. Whole wheat bread, 2 slices of bologne and ff cheese w/mustard. I just really wanted it. Whole sandwhich was around 330 cals. So I'm OK with it but not proud.

Hope everyone has a great day!

P.S. I forgot to mention that a hottie guy I work with hung out with me all evening. He was really a nice guy to get to know. Told me I looked fabulous. It's nice to be noticed again.

prolific aren't we?
 

OK, Now we are going to start a NEW math concept...grouping. Five Bananas = 1 Dancer OK?

Amarantha - start 163, goal 159, Current 161.5 :cb::cb:
Anagram - start 224.2, goal 220, Current 222 :cb::cb:
Arabella - start 211, goal 204
Autumn609 - start 210, goal 200, Current 203 :cb::cb::dancer:
Ceara - start 187, goal 178, Current 189!

Cybele - start 173, goal 169,curent 171 :cb::cb:
Dollar - start 197.4, goal 190, Current 195 :cb::cb:
Ellis - start 189, goal 186, Current 186
Eydie - start~150, goal 145, Current 150
Flower - waist start 41.5", goal 39.5"
Frogger - start 240, goal 165 Current 233.5 :cb::dancer:

Kaylets - start 176.5, goal 170.5, Current 176 :cp:
Punkinseed - start 242, goal 237, Current 240 :cb::cb:
Senamay - start 248, goal 236, Current 250
Scooby - Start 186, goal 180, Current 182
Tipper - Start 208,
Wildfire - start 174, goal 171, Current 173 :cb::cb:

We are having an image problem...too many little yellow things...I love it! Maybe I should switch to *? They aren't nearly so colourful but would not fill up the post so fast.

Been busy in the banana belt...and the dreaded cold has caught me...I just hope I can control my vocal cords to sing today...I don't like colds, they make me feel like I have a marshmallow stuck in my brain....and I feel stupider than usual. An upside is that everything tastes like Sn_t, (mucus), so that I haven't been eating badly for the past 3 days. For a change!

I am hoping just to get back down to my starting point, so don't despair Senamay...you are not the only one!!! If I come through this season at the same point I started, I count it a bonus.

So take it easy out there...the roads are wet and icy here...tropical storm sorta....rain in December? Yuck

Ceara

Gave my pint of O+ and bought a couple teddy bears to take to the local ER room for the holidays... almost done with all my Christmas "to-do's". Saturday my friends and I are celebrating Yule (the sun's coming back!!! :cb: ) and no, I'm not ready for that gift exchange yet and it's 3 days away. :rolleyes:

I haven't been to Curves since last week because of all my last minute, need-to-get-this-done-now, stuff and I'm not going to beat myself up over it - I knew this was going to happen when the holidays hit... now, I just have to quit eating chocolate chip cookies for breakfast! (packing them up in the next day or so so they're gone!).

Senamay - No, I don't see your posts as negative. We're all here because we *need* each other. We all have varying degrees of need from time to time. It may come across as negative, but it's not, it's just a form of asking for support - which I hope you're getting!!! :yes:

Autumn - Exactly!!! Being here is the first sign that we care about ourselves! I think the mooshy self-love stuff sounds great...

I've been thinking a lot about Dr. Wayne Dyer and his lecture that I recently saw on Wisdom TV. He always says that our bodies are just energy particles - a vehicle, and that the "pilot" - that spark that makes us, *us* - is never somewhere where it can ever be found. It's the commander of this ship we drive, the thoughts we think and the actions our bodies take. So, I want this inner spark, this element that makes me *me* to understand that I want a better vehicle - one that's going to last me awhile. I think a big part of getting there is by acknowledging the connection AND separation of these two things (physical & mental). They're both one and separate - one in that the decisions that my pilot makes affect the health of this vehicle and separate because the vehicle is just that - the physical matter that gives my spiritual being (and be-ing) mobility. It's important, but it's not running the show - that spark is and I think sometimes I confuse the two as being one and the same.

Ok, psycho-babble over...

Wildfire - A little ba-humbuggy here. Mostly because it's all coming too fast, with too little time to do anything and I'm in a mood now of "just get it over with" so I can get back to some free time. I'm sure I'll feel better about it once I'm actually done and can just enjoy the holidays.

Amarantha - Oooh, but now I like the one week of New Year Blast off! We could do a week of water slamming for the partying we'll be doing 1/1/03! Then 1/2/03 start the Valentine's day challenge.... :chin: Anyone want to second the idea??
I do also agree that humor is a balm for the soul and has been proven that people who laugh are sick less, suffer less depression, high blood pressure and live longer. I believe there's a place for humor in everything and that it can be very healing. I try to get in my daily giggle every day (usually at this thread!).

Kaylets - I guess I'm glad I've never had a cannoli??? Sounds deadly! My clients in L.A. keep offering to send me Krispy Kremes if I take care of ______ (insert beg or plead here) for them. I guess they're supposed to be the ultimate in donuts?? I tell them it's no use since I've never had one - I don't know what I'm missing!

Frogger - Mmmmmm.... Jack n' Coke.... I haven't had one of those in forever! Next trip to CA I need to buy some Jack or Capt. Morgan.... (too expensive to buy in OR).
Oh, and have you ever seen the show "Almost Perfect"? They had their Christmas party last week and kept saying that happenings at Christmas parties didn't count. Essentially, they were "freebies" that you're not responsible for. So, if you *did* do something (*wink, wink*) you're safe - you just apply the "Christmas party rule" and technically it didn't happen!

Ok, time to get some work done! I can't believe Christmas is next week!!!!! :eek:

Terri

Quick check-in! I have been doing BADLY (read: binge trouble). Although it rankled a bit that my two friends are both slender and both purge, I find the idea of making self throw up.... uh, sickening. I would prefer not to eat in the first place. Really. I mean, i think i trained self not to throw up because I don't like to throw up!

However, after a number of days of on/off OP interspersed with binges, I am all OP today :cb: and dedicated to staying that way until Christmas weigh-in (which may be Christmas eve).

I haven't been getting enough exercise either, but this is DAY 1 and I've done yoga, qi qong, 3 mile walk and 20 mins on the cross trainer. Still plan to do a set of tai chi. I was doing great with all that and then current events seemed to get me off track. But - I'm back, baby!

Feel tired and cruddy. I was supposed to be in on a conference call, but got a message that I can't access the call from my area, so I'm going to go use my foot spa and refresh my tootsies and spirit.

Hope you're all doing great. Tomorrow WILL be OP Day 2 for me!

hump day...
 

hello all out there, I want to be one of the people that responds to the new year blast off idea, and the valentine thread. I feel like i let myself down and you guys down, i dident lose any weight this challenge, but i plan to make up for it this time, so look out.

I find myself getting pumped up for the new year, that always happens. New year new everything. Thanks to all that said my post arent arent depressing. I dont mean them to be. OK i am really trying to stay motivated.

clear the mind and spirit. I cant beleive that christmas is next week either, what happend to this year?? thats scary that time flies that fast. oh well.

Well husband want on the computer, so i must go. goodnight to all of you, later and lighter, senamay:wave:

____________________________________________
every little change,pays off as a big difference!!!:smug:

Haven't had time to check out all back posts since last time but wanted to say I'm much lighter in spirit if not in body. Brought dh from hospital last evening (Dec 2- Dec 17) and took him for four hours dialysis today. Life is constantly more complicated but hope to be on an even keel by this weekend. Lots of problems but we've dealt with those before. I've been in some kind of "Wonder Woman" mode these last several weeks and hope to keep it up for as long as needed. Being 30 lbs lighter (well, almost...) has helped, I'm sure.

I'll be with you on the new challenges, at least in spirit. Am still holding at 222.

Amarantha, I don't have quite as many personalities as you, but I sure do think sometimes I'm quite a lot of people or at least have lots of "aspects" of personalities. Don't want to be dull, do we?

Anyway, thanks for prayers and good wishes. It's great to have him home, weak as he is.

Night falleth ...
 

Nonproductive day endeth! Need to do stuff tomorrow! Having a mini-binge, but it's all skim milk. Sometimes I have terrible cravings for milk and it's just no use trying to curb it. Better than a sugary dulce de leche thing anyhow, so I'm calling it good for being on program, though points are actually at 40 or so.

Anagram: Glad thou hast thy dh home and managed the first dialysis trip. It gets easier.

BTW, thou be right, we don't want to be dull! :)

Arabella!!! :wave: Sorry thy conference call participation didn't jell. Good thou had a rest and a good op day.

Senamay!! Thou must see Kaylets for a NO GUILT card in the morning! :cb: You didn't let anyone down, lots of us never make our challenge goals ... it's just a good exercise to try and helps us focus ... and you really tried hard! Each try at the weight loss game is like a practice run. You can't expect to always win the race, but you get better at running each time. And you are right, we're all gonna have a darn good run next time out!!! Woo-hoo!

In the meantime, guys, that pesky milk craving is back, so ... [/COLOR][/SIZE]

Wed evening
 

Hello All!

Anagram!! SOOOOO GLAAADDDD you're DH is home!! You're right, you've figured out problems before and you'll get the hang of these new challenges too!! You'll be a pro in no time! Please remember the new baby rule -- sleep when DH sleeps-- almost everything will keep--Its time for you to recharge some too! And yes, you're right! You'd be so much more tired if you were still at your starting weight!! I would love to make you a cup of tea!


Empress Jade- Triple the nomination- an in between challenge sounds like a good fit- Folks will be "off schedule" too those 2 weeks so some of us may not be as available until after New Years. And yes, Water is a terrific theme. The Perricone Principal makes a lot of sense - too bad he's selling vitamins too- Don't know why the vitamins bother me but I don't mind that he's selling his book-- But he does give lots of info on the PBS show--
And he's easy on the eyes too!! Do you think he's had plastic surgery??

Also, yes, my vote is a "yes" that if one is short on time or just not able to post to everyone -- that a short, general post is not going to offend or make anyone feel slighted-- I would like to adopt it permanently- just like the No Guilt cards or the bananas -- Because yes, we are here to be supportive and to get support-
- anyone like this idea as much as I do???

Day went pretty well w/both gatherings-- Didnt eat enought at lunch time but the cheese and fruit were close, meeting ended late- I had to run back to my desk-- Pizza party had 2 med slices of mushroom and 2 biscotti-- and 3 tiny cubes of HOMEMADE FUDGE- No regrets on the fudge for sure!

Need to call it a night, this is turning into the 3rd late night in a row...

Arabella, chin up.....you really are figuring this out- once you've figured it out-- we'll be watching your dust!!

That goes for you too Senamay!

In fact, I guess that goes for ALL OF US!!

Later!

Tantalizing Thursday!!
 

Hello all!!

As I've mentioned before, I "break" the rule regarding weighing myself every day. I have my own rule of looking every day just as I also have a full length mirror. The 2nd part of the rule is whatever I see is just that, what I see today-- I can use it for motivation or a reality check-- that's all. The only weighin that counts is "weighin day" and even then, the rule is not to get too emotional about what that day says as well. The point ( you thought I'd never get there didnt you! :dizzy: ) is that 2 days in a row show me back down -- exactly to last week's weight. So, I AM excited that I didn't get carried away after my weighin day showed an increase and use that as an excuse to get out of control.

And thanks Punkinseed for sending Vinny by!! I think I gave him a run for his money though! I think he took a left when I took a right on the way to the Pizza Party because I didnt see him there.
But no problem, I chose homemade fudge and believe me, those were points well spent! 3 little pieces were really worth it!

Also did a visual survey watching who was eating what-- and it was interesting.

Again, this mornings thought seems to follow some of the discussion here on the thread.

Today's thought is:

"(S)He who laughs, lasts" -- Mary Englebreit

To the best possible choices!:genie:

Day 2!
 

Almost Friday!
 

Morning All! :rain:

Daybreak looms murkily on the horizon....rained like a son of a gun all night.

Am off like a shot (:snail: ) doing "stuff" this a.m. :dz: Just a bunch of niggley things that take time you know. So just wanted to add my 2 cents worth to the in-between holiday challenge...I'm in whatever! Who's startin'? :spin:

Have a great day! :ink:

Ceara

Today isn't my weigh in day, it was yesterday but circumstances being what they are, I weighed in today. And TODAY, I hit my goal of 220 for the current challenge. Three times I weighed and three times, it said 220. So I'm going to claim it and try like mad to hold onto it.

All our tempting social events were cancelled by dh's illness so I may stand a chance. My goal now is to start the NY at or under 220. It also means I've lost 30 pounds in a bit over six months (not sure anymore when I started). I'm happy, I'm grateful, I'm appreciative of all the support.

Back to nursing........

ok so yesterday's pizza party was not the greatest effort on my part. I did not have any of the salad I brought. I had 2 slices of pizza, a piece of chocolate and 4 cookies. And I felt sick afterwords. Serves me right.
Anyway, I'm not starting off great today either. Guess what I had for breakfast? A chocolate chip cookie. OK girls let the beating comense!
I'm frustrated today. I'm frustrated with my fiance's work situation, I'm frustrated with my work situation, and I'm frustrated with OUR life together. Yesterday, they hand him his paycheck and told him to report to a different job site today at 7am. (He's an electrician) Well, I have to be at work by 6:30am an hour and a half in the opposite direction from where they told him to be. The jobs he usually goes on are from like 6am-3pm. We have one car. We absolutly cannot afford another car, no shape no form. Bless him though, he tried to get someone to take him. No luck. So I take him this morning, I didn't get into work until after 8am. I called to let everyone know, but now I'm in a bad situation. I can't do this everyday. So he's trying to find someone he knows there or someone that lives near us to ride with. He's 22 and does not have a driver's license, which feeds into why I am frustrated with OUR life. He refuses to get one. He keeps saying he will we'll go this week but then he never wants to go when the time comes around. Also, IMO he drinks to much. No one should need to drink a six pack or more of beer everynight. It starts the minute he walks into the door at 3pm. He's young, and doesn't get drunk every night, so this I can somewhat overlook. However, I cannot overlook what I found out a couple of weeks ago. I've tried, but I just can't get over it. I found some pictures of him on our computer about 3 months ago. I'll just say we USED to own a digital camera until then. Pictures of his unclothed niether regions shall we say? With him doing various poses with 'it'. So I thought this must be a man thing. He swore he never sent them to anyone, why would he do that? He's too shy. He was quite embarrased that he left them on there so I dissmissed it. Must just be 'testing' out the camera or what have you. He is a guy afterall. Well, I thought he had done away with those pix until a couple resurfaced on the computer titled differently. He had them saved as his name and a girls screename that I recognized from his buddy list so it was like soandso.jpg
I confronted him about it and he admitted he had sent them to that girl a couple of months ago and she had sent some of her. He's really sorry and doesn't know why he did it and he's never done it again he says. So why? We've been together for 4 years. We're getting married in May. Everything is done and paid for. Why did he do this to me? He hasn't a clue why he did it. He just did and I should forget about it. How can I trust him? What should I do? I really feel like I should leave. But I don't know if I can survive on my own. I must also add that he hides various porno movies around the house and watches them EVERYDAY. I've told him we have far too much company over to hiding movies around, so get them out of the house. No more in here ever. He said ok. Guess what I am still finding? New ones. A box came the other day that I signed for and he said, no don't open it, it's your christmas present. OK, but he left the packing slip in the box and I gathered up the trash. No present for me 10 movies for him. I feel so sick and used. I can look past the porn, he's a man. I can look past the drinking because he doesn't get drunk. I cannot look past sending neck-ed pix to other women. I have honestly tried, because he said he was sorry. But ladies it's eating me up inside. I can't help but think has he met her (or anyone else) in person and done things? What else has he lied about. I'm so hurt. I don't know what to do.

Frogger, my heart goes out to you. Think about this seriously before you consider marrying this guy. Nothing in your post sounds good. And it sounds as if he's totally obsessed with porn, which can be just as bad for some people as being addicted to booze or drugs.

I can tell you this: you CAN survive on your own. It might be a bit difficult sometimes, but it sounds like what you're going through is worse. And is more likely to get worse than better.

Take good care of yourself!

hiya
 

Hi Frogger,

Yea you have to get rid of him. I talk to men like that all the time online about how there wives will never know. I think if you move on you will spare your feelings down the road...allows you to meet someone worthy of you! Im not anti porn but the drinking is not a good sign and the internet thing is not a good thing. You think its harmlous however it becomes something real.
It only becomes bigger! IM sorry frogger, that this stuff is happening to u.

Yo!!! Running late as usual, had to post! :wave:

Anagram: CONGRATS ON MAKING THY CHALLENGE GOAL!!!! This is a tremendous accomplishment, especially with thy life challenges at the moment. It's going to be a great NY for thee and thy dh, somehow I just feel that. It's also showing up that way in the crystal ball, which Hag got back from the repair shop recently.

Arabella: Thanks for thy words. I think thee be right about the calories not being too high ... I get kind of in this off program, on program mode and that's wrong. It's day by day trying and working at it that is important, not really the exact numbers!!!

Frogger: I'm sorry this is happening to thee also. Guess all has been said advice-wise that I would say. I can say and I apologize (sigh) that though I am not a conservative person, I do dislike porn, but the main thing is that it is not wise to write off many of the things you mention as "man" things. There are many, many, many wonderful "man" people out there with good characters (whatever that means) and sound judgement and that will treat thee as thou deservest to be treated. It is (in my not humble opinion) far better to be alone with thyself than to be with a male or female person who makes thee feel bad and who has habits that scare thee or that do not jive with thy preferred lifestyle (whatever that be).

I shall get off the soapbox now, as the computer is about to go down!!![/COLOR][/SIZE]

Hmmm.... no, I'm not totally anti-porn (if we can distinguish between erotica and porn), although I think it can be pretty ugly. It also tends to objectify and demean women - and, not coincidentally, make men (and the women themselves) think they don't deserve to be treated well.

Porn is definitely unhealthy when it is the central point of your life, which it seems to be for this guy.

agree
 

I agree with you arabella there are different kind...i dont think objectifying women is cool at all. And i agree some porn is just really nasty and discusting. And it does sounds like he is really into so your right it is not healthy.

Binged this afternoon....pass a guilt free guard over my way! Im waiting for the lovely friend flow to arrive any day. The guy i like is married..oh well. Not suprising!

Hope everyone a good afternoon!

Frogger, hon... I'm so sorry about this. I'm afraid I read most of your post with my hand over my mouth in shock. This idea of it being "man stuff" is b.s. sweety. I was married to one and have known (ahem) a few others let's say "quite well" in lengthy relationships - what he's doing isn't 'the norm'. We have a digital camera and to test it we took pictures of the dogs - not our genitals. Hiding the porn and drinking like he is is a major red flag. I would seriously think twice about marrying him - you say it's all paid for - but think of this - it cost me more to divorce the a$$hole I married and I knew it wasn't going to work. I coulda' saved myself the money by *loosing* the money on the wedding.
Can you survive without him??? I ask if you can survive WITH him...

Anagram - Congrats to you and your reaching your goal!!! :cb: aaaaand that hubby is esconced safely back home! Merry Christmas to you, huh?

Kaylets - Vinny was there, he was hiding under a slice of pepperoni...
I also love your quote today. I thought of you all last night as So Graham Norton came on. It's on the same time as John Edward, so it's quite a decision to make - but I felt that at this time of year, when I miss both my Grandma's the most and feel them near me, I don't need John - I need a good laugh!!!!! :lol:

Ceara - I've been hearing about your storms! My brother lives in Canyon Country and our business is in Van Nuys. Sorry it's hitting you, but on the other hand ya' need the rain (but not to the point where ya wonder if you should start building the ark!!)

Arabella - I agree, there is a difference between erotica and porn. Funny how women tend the write the best erotica....

:wave: Hi everyone else!! I do agree with the general concensus that it's better to do a fly-by post than not post at all for fear of offending that you don't speak to everyone individually. Just post!!! We love ya'!! :grouphug:

Bought myself a present today - ordered Mesmer and Rasputin. According to my friend, two of the best Alan Rickman films she's seen.... starting to worry about my new obsession about a man 20-some-odd years older than me. Think I'll move to London.... :chin:

Hi ho, hi ho...
Terri

Hi everyone.

I have been out for a while. Pretty embarresed to say that i have gained 6 pounds. No excuses here. Just kept shoveling it in.

I did however pick a good day to start reading again.

It seems we have a lady in desperate need of some straight talk.

Frogger dear, it is easy for everyone to speak on some one elses problems without actually having to deal with them. But I have to say that I agree with them all.

You should not have to excuse any behavior that makes you unhappy or unconfortable. There is no reason a man should be emailing his privates to someone else when he is almost married or not. It is wrong. The drinking is also wrong. Someone that can drink a 6 pack every night and it not affect them means they have a high tolerance. He doesn't get drunk because he is used to it. The porn movies I don't really have a problem with. As long as you are reaping the benefits from it.

You need to take a long look at your life with him. The way it is now, is the way it will be after you are married. DO NOT EXPECT THE WEDDING TO CHANGE HIM. You will be setting yourself up.

If you can live the rest of your life putting up with all these things then by all means marry him. If not, and by you posting what you did you obviously can't, then it is time to move on.

Ok I am off my soap box.

Hope all is well with everyone else. My new goal is to get rid of the 6 pounds I have gained in the last two weeks.

Gotta go.

Hi Frogger---can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said here. Please don't dismiss all those bad habits as "man stuff"---your frustration and confusion really comes across in your post. And please, don't feel like you're being ganged up on here. You've put out the call and we're all VERY concerned for you!

Ceara, sounds like you've bounced back from your cold--at least I hope that's the case!

Arabella, we're in the most treacherous food season of the year so don't beat yourself up. Let me put it this way, I won't if you won't! I've been doing my baking and I'm very proud of the fact that it's all reduced fat, but so easy to overeat! Also, have been deceiving myself with the practice of taking a teeny piece of whatever here and there and thinking it's not adding up. 'Tis the season.....

Punkin, a joyous Yule to you! And I'm so with you about laughter being good medicine. I have a friend that I'm absolutely addicted to because we laugh like crazy around each other. Of course, we're so crude in our speech that most ordinary people would lose consciousness, but man, is it fun!!! Would you be terribly jealous if I told you I had a funny little Alan Rickman dream the other night? As Severus Snape, no less!!!!

Senamay, keep going! I don't think that i'm going to meet my goal either--unless there's a Christmas miracle! But we soldier on!

Anagram, congrats for meeting your challenge. And may I say that your love for your husband comes thru in your post. Lucky man...

Amarantha, I'm all for the New Year's challenge. The only thing I dislike about the holidays is the sudden end after Xmas--this'll prolong the season a bit!

Eydie - Blessed Yule to you too! I've never appreciated the Winter Solstice as much as I do now that I'm further north and have *much* longer nights!! Bring on the sun!!! :cb: :flow2: :cb:
Soooo... having dreams about Prof. Snape huh?? Anything interesting?? I'd stay for detention in his class any ol' day! :o
But no, not terribly jealous... it would take quite a dream to beat the one I had a year or so ago about Brendan Fraser - WHO planted that man in my head is a mystery (but I'd like to thank them!) :devil:

Frogger - I want to echo what Eydie said about it not being us ganging up on you. Sometimes it's hard to see how something truly is when you're so close to it, or you don't think it's "that bad". I guess we all just jumped in to say "it's not good honey!!!!!!". Yes, we care. Most of us have been there and speak from experience...

Tipper - Guilt free pass headin' your way. Wipe away that embarassment - now! It's not pretty, but it's undoable! :yes: I think all of us are both looking forward to the holidays AND wishing they'd hurry up n' pass!

Luff to you all... time to motor (oh, should watch Heathers...:chin: )

Terri

Thursday!
 

Hello all!

Some places start to slow down this close to the holiday but lots of companies need to "dissolve" before year end or pay 2003 fees--and since we're the ones to get those state forms filed for them......
Seems like the clients and then in turn the customer service reps are getting more and more frantic.....

The boss brought the leftovers from last nights party to work- Including the fudge- they put in my cubicle again as I dont have a partner (so there's room)--

So I ate some- and then some more-- but I tell you, this was homemade fudge and yes, it is FUDGE but I would put it up there w/ Godiva-- Sure was tasty--

Had a spinach salad for dinner to even things out--


Frogger-- You will make up your mind when you are ready--
Let's look at it this way for just a second-- Its obvious you don't like the movies and don't want people finding them in your house-

It's also seems obvious that you don't trust him as you've "caught" him in lies- sounds like many times too. Why he is lying to you doesnt matter-- if he is lying to you now, before a formal commitment, then dishonesty is what his idea of a relationship is-- Please think about this-- there will come a time, sooner or later, that you will doubt everything he tells you-- Is this how you planned on spending the rest of your life?

Yes, there are addictions to porn. And addictions leave no room for normal relationships- The addiction drives everything else out--
and as hard as this might be to hear-- as long as you tolerate and even help pay for this behavior, it won't change. In fact, you are encouraging it without realizing it.

The other thing I am sure you have thought of is this--what happens when the movies and internet aren't enough-- there are dangerous health consequences --women and children are the fastest growing AIDS population-- How many of these porn videos are showing safe sex??

You deserve to be cherished, honored, respected and protected--

And again, let me repeat what the others have said, we are only giving our opinions, BUT we do want the BEST for you--
But whatever you decide, we respect your decison and support you. You have so much to offer and so far yet to travel--- don't sell yourself short.

hello...
 

FROGGER....... GET OUT!!!!!!! I'm sorry to be so blunt, but i live in this ________! Fill in your own word. I wish i never ever married my husband. he drunk, when we dated he drunk, and i told myself he drinks a little, and nothing seriouse, well yhea, call me blind. Now his two days off thats all he does, i hate the smell of it the way he looks he doesnt realize that he looks like a --------- when hes like that. my two boys, are seeing all this too, god help me. I dont know what to do either, but i think of leaving every day. abd its coming, do you have kids with him, if you dont your lucky. Just take my advice he needs some help with alot of things, and i think real men would never look at porn, or anything related. That just shows he has no respect for you. good luck and im sorry for the pain and confusion and i understand because i live in it also, and its pure ****. well later,,, senamay;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS LIFE IS NO DRESS REHEARSAL, WE GOT ONE SHOT AT IT,
DON'T LET SOMEONE ELSE MAKE US LIVE IT UNHAPPY!!!!!
FIND YOURSELF, AND LIVE THE LIFE THAT YOU WERE MEANT TOO.

Ah, Frogger, so sorry to hear you're in a tough situation. Many words of wisdom to contemplate. One sentence struck me most. I think it was Kaylets - that you deserve to be re spected, cherished, etc. As do we all. And to achieve that you must be with one YOU can respect, cherish, etc. So a huge question is "can you respect this person and his behaviors"? Can you cherish someone who behaves as he does?

And truly dear there are many men who do not behave this way, who do show respect. Perhaps you and your fiance do not share the same expectations - good subject for a long and sober (in both senses) talk. How do you see your life at 43, 63, etc? I've been "disinvited" to several weddings because of a change of mind. In one case, the couple went ahead and married about six months after the cancelled ceremony. they were divorced within a few years. If you have a gut feeling, respect that feeling until all your doubts are resolved.

And Kaylets, HOMEMADE FUDGE! Ambrosia to me - I could be slightly r esolute in the face of chocolate but are we perhaps talking PEANUT BUTTER? I'd crumble and consider it worth it. Missed a craft show earlier this month that I usually go to with sister where I usually buy an angel of some sort and a few pieces of homemade peanut butter fudge. Sis went and bought me an angel but search though she might, she could not bring me my annual peanut butter fudge. May be a sign there.

Fantastic Friday!!
 

Dogs needed to go out so I decided to stay up and stop by-- made the coffee and put some music on-- a CD sold by a candle company that sounds better every time I listen to it. Its always so wonderful to rediscover a wonderful piece of music.
A great gift to myself although at first it seemed like too much trouble.

Anagram, thanks for finishing my thought-- its the sharing of mutual respect, honor, etc. I guess we all finished each others thoughts-

One thing I wish I had said Frogger was that I applaud you for being honest about your situation. From personal experience, a coworker was in deep trouble but denied it to everyone. There were some clues but nothing obvious as she never let on. At the worst of it, she did share w/ her child's teacher but within 24 hrs he had killed her. In front of her children. As she was on the phone w/ 911. The children could be heard on the 911 tape.
Another type of addiction-- I believe if this woman felt that her women friends would've supported her, she'd be alive today.
Heartbreaking ? of course. But worse, at the funeral parlor, we overheard his family saying " Well, she knew what would set him off....." That's even more heartbreaking. That was his defense at the trial as well. That he "thought " she was cheating on him.
But why he tried to stab himself in the stomach and pretend she had attacked him first was never explained.
And PS- these same people at the funeral were also discussing how they would not take in her children because "they will be just like their father"---

So Frogger, even if you find that some of us "agree to disagree"--
you are among friends.


Today's thought is:

"It only takes one person to change your life---you." Ruth Casey

To the best possible choices.:genie:

Day 3, OP
 

Good Morning to you all. Well, Fiance and I had a long and sober talk last night. I attempted to talk about that one thing (the pix) and 4 years of botherings came out. The drinking the lying, etc. I just couldn't help it. I felt so much better to air it. I think he had that very mocho she'll get over it attitute all along. It made him upset. He cried. I don't think he realized how badly I am hurt. I told him that I was at a point where I don't know if I can stay or not. He asked me not to go. I said this is THE LAST chance I am giving you. I believe he knows I mean business this time. And I do. I mean it, last go around. I laid down my laws. Don't get me wrong, i don't want to dominate him, but I expect certain things to be done and not to be done in order to live.
He spent the majority of the evening cleaning out the files on the computer that were hidden and finding all of his movies to move them to a central location as to not offend our guests. Then he asked if we could watch tv together. We never do that anymore. He spends most of his time chatting on the computer or playing guitar. I spend most of my time alone watching tv or reading. So we watched tv together. The act may seem weird or small to you but it's a huge step for him.
All in all, we'll see where this goes. Thanks for your support.

Good morning all.

I am in desperate need of a guilt free card. I weighed this morning and I am at 211. I can't believe this. I was at 206 a week ago.

Does anyone think it could be some hormones kicking in as well as the shoveling in?

Frogger: Best of luck to you.

I think we need some happy thoughts.

Last night I was alone. Boyfriend was out of town. I was sitting in his chair and our golden retriever decides that she wants to sit with me. (more like on me) So I let her up. She started to fall asleep. Her head was bobbing up and down. But she couldn't get comfortable. She moved to the couch. She let out a big sigh and got down and came over to me then went back to the couch. I got up and moved to the couch and she laid down at my feet and went back to sleep.

How cute is that? She didn't want to sleep alone I guess. She is such a sweetie. She and my yorkie have been such a comfort to me over the past couple of weeks.

This morning I started off right with a slim fast. I have a bannana sitting next to me for a snack, and I plan on a turkey sandwich for lunch.

Wish me luck.

PS: I have to say that Matthew MaCaunahey makes my heart skip a beat. ( I hope I spelled his name right. )

HELLO ALL!
 

It's been so hectic ... but I found a couple minutes to at least say hello.

Things are good altho busy. Glad the holiday is just a few days away, some of the craziness will go away after that. My girls are so looking forward to Christmas day. They're at the ages where it's still very magical and exciting.

I've been very good diet and exercise wise. I tried to be extra good as there are several parties coming up; I figure I can "allow" myself a goodie or two.

I hope you all have a great day. Please take good care.