Body dysmorphia, she was probably serious about finding herself fat. She does not view other people the way she sees herself. Have you ever seen an interview with an anorexic person where they explain how fat they are and they are practically squeleton. When I look in the mirror I see a huge person no matter what size I am, I see every imperfection, min you I do nothing about it because I know that my perception is wrong. I need to ask my husband when we are in a crowd if I am bigger or smaller than another woman, he will look around and point toward someone that is similar to me in size and shape, then I am reassured or scared LOL.

Thé comment about the club oh well.....

I think people like that are obsessed with the fact that everyone is looking at them. In reality? We're not. Her fellow country clubbers probably just want to tan or swim or whatever and could care less about her butt. She might target people she incorrectly thinks have the same low level of self-esteem as she does, even though there's no evidence of that. Everyone fishes for compliments at some point (none of us are perfect), but making derogatory comments about one's physical appearance is one of the most blatant and lame ways of doing it.

This reminds me of a South Park quote: "suck my fat t*ts!!" :D

I dunno, my advice is don't take what this girl said personally, I am pretty sure it had nothing at all to do with you or your co-worker....I DEFINITELY have body image issues, I am the kind of person who hates to look in mirrors, and if I have to, I can spend HOURS using makeup to perfect what I think is flawed. I too have absolutely ZERO concept of what I really look like because I am too busy focusing on the negative. I am another wife who asks her husband to show me someone my size so that I know where I am in this.

Body image issues are not connected to just overweight people. It happens to skinny people, normal people, black, white, tall, short, man, woman. Just look at any magazine today and there is no wonder why!

IMHO, I've met many so-called "skinny" woman who were actually fat...:rolleyes:

You can weigh 200 lbs and have less visceral fat (the kind of fat you can pinch) than someone who weighs 130 lbs.

Perhaps this girl really should be concerned...

Just sayin!:rolleyes:

everyone has body image issues. you may see her as tiny, but she has a distorted view of herself based on social interactions and mass media. unless you're anorexic, you're not thin enough -- she wasn't being self-important, she's just a reflection of a deeper problem that's inhabiting society right now. her figure will be judged harshly when she's in a bikini, and if she has an ounce of body fat, someone somewhere is inevitably going to question her appearance. in situations like this, it's best not to make things about yourself when it's an issue another person is struggling with. you being a larger size than her doesn't make your body image issue any more real than hers is.

not even play boy bunnies go unscrutinized.

Pft whatever- too bad you were working or you could have agreed "yeah omg you are fat."

I think it's rude to say "omg I'm fat" in front of someone who is overweight.

I know I look thin, but I truly feel fat. However, I never, never bring my weight/fat issues up as casual conversation. The bikini woman is a jerk.

I forgot to mention, she's the cheer leading coach.

No, I'm not disregarding or denying that skinny people have body issues. or belittling anybody else's poor body image...god knows I have enough whacked out perceptions and years of mental torture at many different weights that I would never act that way.

I'm saying she doesn't. and if she does...that's not the issue at all.

It's not just that I saw her as tiny, its how much she went on and on and on, and kept saying "Oh, I'm a big fat hog, ooohhhh bikini season!"

She was belittling being overweight. It's like somebody eating a grape and saying "I'm so stuffed!" It was an image thing.


Also this thing went on for a good 10 minutes. She was totally hamming it up and being jokey about it.

It felt like a fat joke.

She was over-sharing in some kind of public performance.

("... And best actress in a comedic role goes to ....")

Was the "country club" reference meant as some kind of gratuitous status marker? And of course she's assuming you both don't belong to a country club?

That is, was the whole performance meant to say: "I'm thinner & richer than you two. You should be glad I'm even talking to you in such a friendly way"?

This woman has self-esteem issues that I can't even begin to plumb the depths of within a single message board post.

(And how great is your friend? That's one of those lines I really wish I could hear someone say spontaneously in public, like "Kiss my grits.")

Thank you for stealing the thoughts right out of my head saef!!

When I was bald, both times, there would be women with beautiful hair who would openly b&*ch right in front of me about a bad haircut or bad hair day. I, of course, at the time, had the "little boy, bed head look" going on for months, each time. I was appalled at how truly unfeeling and uncaring people can be.

What has happened to the self monitor button that we were all born with?

First I must confess I have not read every response.
Body issues, no body issues, we all know saying "I'm fat!!" in the manor that woman did, in public, to strangers is the giant red flag of "tell me I'm thin!"

When someone does that, and they are thin, I agree with them and tell them they are alittle pudgy. I pinch an inch on them (if I can find one) and tell them to start exercising. And I dont do it sarcastically. I tell them dead serious. If they were feeling thin when they came in, they wont be feeling thin on the way out. Its one thing for someone to say, I don't like my body, but what that woman did was rude and obnoxious...I have no patience for that. And EVERYONE knows if you are going to call yourself fat, you darn sure dont do it to other women that are bigger than you. Its just an understood common curtesy. Gees.

Ok i need to goto sleep now!! ZZZZZ

Oh brother! lol I would have played right into her game. "Oh, you are on a diet?...oh we can put together a GREAT lowest calorie possible version of this salad. Let me make you one with only lettuce and the lowest calorie veggies we have on hand, we'll hold the cheese and croutons...Oh, and you're probably going to want a splash of no calorie vinegar as a dressing right? Would you like your vinegar on the side?" Of course this would be all said with total diet buddy admiration sappy talk. A big smile and all.

You did the right thing by telling her she wasn't fat but I would have ended the small talk there. Your co-worker should not have said anything. You shouldn't feel personally attacked because this woman is talking badly about herself. Thats exactly what it is HER issues. Everyone is self-conscience about some part of their body. And often times it is all in their head.

The country club comment - agreed, totally tasteless and rude. Complaining about being "fat" in front of other who are clearly heavier than you - insensitive yes, totally out of line - no.

I used to be in the camp of how dare anyone with less than 20 lbs to lose complain about their weight...poor me I'm the one who's fat, I'm the one who struggles. But now being on the other side of things, it is all so relative. Losing weight will not solve all your problems, so those body image issues you have now are going to still be there x lbs later. We are all entitled to "feel fat" or struggle with body image issues no mater what our size. Emotions do not discriminate.

I think most of us have the good sense to know when someone is actually distressed about their weight and when someone is fishing for compliments in front of an audience they assume must be dying of jealousy.

OP, you are lucky you do not have my mouth because it would probably have gotten you fired today. I can't help it, it runs faster than my brain.

Her: I'm just so fat, I'm on a diet!
You: Good luck with that! Summer is almost here.
Her: Smacks butt, what do you call that!
You: I'm sure you can lose it!
Her: YOU don't have to wear a bikini at the country club!
You: Oh, do you work there?

I just can not bring myself to feed someone's ego at my own expense. Clearly you were supposed to tell her how you'd love to be her size and then fall over in a fit of envy because she'll spend the summer at the club while you're making sandwiches. I am just not a big enough (e-hem, on the inside) person to go along with that.

Everybody has their own stuff. I was just as disgusted with myself when I was five pounds overweight as I am now at many many many pounds overweight. I get that. I don't think I've ever thought so little of other people that I was willing to use them to feed my inner ego monster.