kimm...I loved your comment about making love to a gallon of ice cream...I have never put it that way..


may I ask you..where did the doughnut come from..how to come into your existence?

Be gentle on yourself you deserve some kindness and it as to start with you. No matter what is our size loosing weight is a challenge but it basically is the same for everyone. One pound at a time, one change at a time and it adds up slowly.

When you have a moment of weakness and grab that donut, remove the guilt, it will get you nowhere, instead think about why you grab it in the first place, boredom find a hobby that will keep your mind busy. Frustration go for a small walk, it clears the mind. Temptation dont buy them anymore replace them by something that will give you satisfaction by being good for your health.

Before running a marathon we need to learn how to walk and the same applies to weight loss, change what you can gradually.

Tell yourself that if this minute you put something in your mouth that is not good for you, you still have the rest of the day to do better and do not let thé negative peelings win. Good luck to you, if you believe it you will succeed.

Wow you started a really good thread and got some excellent responses. I feel for you and have been in your shoes. I too skipped all my reunions since the tenth and almost didn't go to that because of my weight. It sounds like the bigger problem though is long term. You want another child and you're getting that neuropathy. I've never had that but my mother-inlaw and her brother both did and they were miserable. They didn't catch it at the reversable stage though. You have a chance to do something about it and prevent all that misery.

I agree with all the wise posters here. fatmad mentioned planning. I don't think I would be where I am today if I hadn't made myself research the plan that I thought would work for me. Then plan what I was going to eat the next day. I pack food in little ziploc containers a couple of times per week so I can control portion size. It's a lot easier when I'm not hungry. I also like to have it ready and available so I can grab it if I get hungry so I don't grab something else. Is it possible that you can keep donuts and other disaster food out of the house while you get going. I know you live with you're family but hopefully they will support you.

I am doing semi-low carb. I went through the detox and got to where I was comfortable. If I allow myself to eat off plan I suffer with intense cravings and emotional upheaval where I'm mad at myself for putting myself in that position and worried I may not be able to get back on track. It's the long run that is important though because I now realize that I will never be able to eat that way again as it was sick and self-destructive. I can't describe to you how much more sane I feel now that I am slowly improving my health, my fitness level, and my looks. I think it's probably partly an increase in self-esteem but could also be more physical as my insulin resistance is much better. I now know that I am addicted to those foods just like others are addicted to drugs and alcohol. seagirl thanks for the link to the stages of change. It's been a long time since I've read through them. Yay I'm finally in the action/determination phase. Kimmirue it sounds like you are motivated for change. Take a deep breath. Give yourself a hug and start planning for what you will do tomorow to be successful working towards those goals. Don't expect instant results. I think deadlines are a recipe for disaster. Instead celebrate improvement.

Ive been there, I would start to eat something that was completely horrible for me and I honestly wouldnt even notice what I was doing until after I ate it. I found that writing down EVERYTHING I eat makes it easier. I have a daily planner that I write in, literally everyday. Ill also make side notes on some of the food... IE: I had sugarfree chocolate pudding with fat free cool whip the other night as a treat and it made me feel sooo sick after wards. So I made a note next to that food in my "Diary". Ill also add notes next to foods that I eat if they make me feel depressed after I eat them.
My goal is to also turn heads at my high school reunion being that six months after my graduation I weighed in at 330. So if you need any one to talk to let me know :).

I think you are making the common mistake of too much at once and overwhelming yourself. It's an easy thing to do when you are overweight and have health and social complications as a result.

Start with just one thing. One idea might be tracking your food. Just tracking. Eat as you normally do and don't beat yourself up about what you are tracking. Be happy with your accomplishment to track your food.

Or make a small change to one meal. For example decide you are going to have XYZ for breakfast this week, and stick to it. Leave the rest of your day as normal.

Once you've made one small change, gotten used to it, allowed yourself to feel the accomplishment, add another.

Just tracking your food is a good one, in my opinion, because as you collect this data it will help you to understand yourself and better plan your approach for success. (For example, seeing that you eat more when you have less protein for breakfast, etc.)

Do not use your reunion as a goal. The wording in your post suggests you might be thinking of setting a goal of dropping 100 pounds by the reunion. Maybe it's possible, maybe not. But either way -- it's a very hard goal with a very rigid timeline, and it's going to set you back mentally if you don't meet it.

Set smaller more approachable goals. Meet them, be happy with yourself, and use that boost of success to help you reach the next one.

You guys are awesome!
 

I just had to quote that one, because it rings so true to me. For instance, in December, I lost 12lbs. I even gave myself 3 free days around Christmas so I wouldn't beat myself up for cheating. That worked good. Going into New Years, I was still down the 12lbs, and then...my in-laws got free passes to the all-you-can-eat buffet at the casino. It was like I died and went to heaven. I think I ate 3 plates of crablegs, and everything else. So obviously, I blew it for that day. But a normal person would just pick right back up again the next. Not me - I threw myself back down the mountain and I'm still sitting here, looking up...2 weeks later. Duh!!

Anyways, I am overwhelmed at all the response I've gotten from my post. Everyone is so encouraging and had such wonderful, helpful things to say!

And FYI: The doughnuts wiggled their way into my presence because of my husband. He stopped and bought them on his way home from work (3rd shift). I seldom buy sweets on a typical shopping trip, I'm pretty good about that. I get intense carbohydrate cravings and that's when I make a special trip, or run through a drive-thru...something like that. And I wasn't in the midst of an emotional binge, I was hungry and the doughnuts started talking to me. It is such a habit to listen to them, that like I said, I ate them before I forgot I wasn't suppossed to.

I'm not new to this. I've been forming long, drawn out meal and exercise plans for years. I've had successes with Weight Watchers twice. I've joined gym after gym, going faithfully for a couple months, then quiting. I'm always switching back and forth between the 'contemplative stage' and 'action stage'...for whatever reason, I can't seem to stick with it. I guess I get discouraged, but I know, I know...take it slow, mini-goals, small successes. I need a good, swift kick in the rear.

I am fortunate to have a husband that loves me just the way I am. Sure he wants me to be more healthy and active, but I wish he were a millionaire, too. I joked in my intro post that if I grew to 700lbs, his response would be - "Oh well honey, let's just get a sledgehammer and widen the doors!" That kind of acceptance is great, except it's killing me too. It gives me the excuses, "He loves me this way"..."I already have a man"...blah blah blah...

So yes, I do need therapy. No, I'm not in denial - I know all the reasons I'm fat. Taping pictures to the fridge and cabinets is an excellent idea. My son does have friends and playdates, but I guess I just like to beat myself up on that one - loaded subject. Thanks for all the advice on the low-carb eating, I definitely appreciate it and agree with you. And $15 a pound - wow- by the time I got done, I could buy myself a new car...LOL But, that is a great idea. I'm thinking $5 a pound for me though, I will run that by the boss. And who cares about that stupid reunion, I hated all the people I went to high school with anyways!! :)