Oprah and my sadness.
 

I have to admit, I miss the idea that Oprah has decided to give up on weight loss. I always enjoyed tuning in and finding out what would be the next thing she would be doing or promoting to lose weight.

I have heard that she has decided not to worry about the number on the scale, but concentrate on health and happiness. Me too, but I still believe that I will always worry about the number, along with health and happiness.:dizzy:

I still see the old familiar look in her eye when she is talking with a guest about weight loss. I have really enjoyed Oprah's show over the years. I feel a kind of sisterhood with her. I have struggled right along with her for 25 years and will greatly miss her show.

No weight loss show, I live for those shows!

I love when they show clips of her shows through the past 25 years and see her at so many different weights. It's like clips of my own life. There are pics on my walls of me at many different weights. To many, this would seem like failure (heck, it does to my own mother), but I look at it like at least I keep trying and picking myself up and moving on.

That's where the sadness comes in for me. I feel like Oprah has been a weight loss buddy all these years, and now she's dropped out of the circle or something.

For some people, this can be a necessary stage of personal development. I really think it was time spent "not worrying about the number," that in the long run actually saved my life. When I focused primarily on the number, I tended to do unhealthy things to lose the weight.

Focusing on the numbers most of my life (since my first diet in kindergarten) I had only ever been (ultimately) unsuccesful with weight loss. I was always either losing weight rapidly or gaining weight rapidly. Maintaining my weight wasn't a skill I had ever developed.

If I hadn't spent a few years "not worrying about the number" I don't think I ever would have learned to maintain weight loss. I always would have been losing or gaining, never maintaining.

Eventually, the numbers had to become important again, but they never again would be top priority to the exclusion of common sense. When the number was most important, I was always willing to do unhealthy things to make the numbers move faster (because that was always my first concern).

For me (and I'm not saying for everyone else) I had to diet "backwards," taking the number almost completely out of the equation. I decided instead of focusing on the number, I'd decide what healthy changes I was willing to make whether or not it resulted in weight loss. Weight loss became the reward rather than the goal.

I'm at the point now where the number has to be part of the goal, but it's still a struggle to give the number it's necessary, but no greater importance. Keeping it in perspective is still difficult. I'm still tempted to resort to unhealthy and unsustainable methods for the sake of speed.

Maybe a little time off of the diet rollercoaster, will allow her to recharge and refocus. It helped me. I just wish I had done so decades ago, before the rollercoaster became so ingrained in my habits that it has become my "autopilot" mode. Unlearning has been harder than any learning ever was.

I had only ever been (ultimately) unsuccesful with weight loss. I was always either losing weight rapidly or gaining weight rapidly. Maintaining my weight wasn't a skill I had ever developed.

This /\ /\ was always me as well kaplods. I am trying like crazy to unlearn a lot of my previous craziness so that I can live peacefully while getting to a healthy weight. I understand Oprah's decision completely, I just really miss the idea that she will be on TV willing to give it another go with the rest of us.

I know what you mean. Finding good weight loss role models, and sound healthy weight loss advice in popular media is really difficult. It seems that only unhealthy or impractical methods get any attention.

I've been pleasantly surprised by Dr. Oz's show. Even my husband is a convert. He always made fun of me for watching, but I noticed that he not only has been watching the show with me, he's a more regular viewer than I am.

I wish Dr. Oz did more shows on weight loss, but there's usually weight loss and healthy eating tips in almost every show.

My husband and I also really like Dr. Oz. I was also surprised that I like the show as much as I do. When I would see the commercials for it, I thought it looked very boring. However, I like the concept that it isn't flashy or crazy, must be my age showing.

I love the fact that almost every person who is chosen to be his helper for the day is so truly excited to be chosen. You'd think they were getting to meet a rock star by their reactions. I love that.

I also wish there were more weight loss shows.

Are the Dr. Oz shows available online? I don't have a DVR/TIVO, so I can't get them recorded, but I would like to watch some of his shows....

I, for one, and glad that she's trying to forget the number and focusing on health. In reality, that's the best way to go about it. I've felt bad for her jumping onto fad diets only to have them fail, and fail in the face of millions of fans, no less! Maybe now she'll have genuine success. :)

With an opposing view here, how can she concentrate on "health" if she continues to stay at this heavy weight? I don't believe it is possible and she is just fooling herself. I am the same age she is and at this time in life something is going to go bad, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.

I have never watched Oprah, but I do agree that people often make a weird divide between "eating healthy" and "dieting": they define "eating healthy" as not eating junk food and "dieting" as eating less, and they treat those as two independent states: you can be eating healthy but not dieting, dieting but not eating healthy, eating healthy and dieting, or not eating healthy and not dieting. The problem is that overeating IS inherently unhealthy, even if you are eating all healthy things. So some form of portion control is part of healthy eating. That doesn't mean one has to be a slave to the scale, but some awareness of changes in body fat is part of being healthy.

I'm experimenting with the same kind of thing this year, and so far, I'm loving it. I'm still tracking things, like my body fat percentage, my score on the Presidential Adult Fitness Test and my points in the Presidential Fitness Challenge, but this is the first year in a long time where I haven't set a weight loss goal for myself.

Most of the reason I'm changing my focus is that it really did get to be all about the number on the scale for me. If I didn't like a morning weigh in, I'd try to get a workout in without eating or drinking anything just to see if I could get the number to go down. I wasn't thinking about what's best for my body - just what I could do to score a short-term loss.

I'm hoping that this way of living will ultimately be more sustainable for me, and so far, I'm pretty happy with the way it's making me feel.

I don't really know much about Oprah- but, I think "shame on her". I know a lot of women really look up to her and can misconstrue that message. Some people can't differentiate "eating healthy" and "dieting". Some people have trouble making the decisions and have trouble sticking to a program without looking at a measureable number. Realistically you can't measure your health and happiness with a number. I can measure my weight with a number and after losing 64 pounds I can tell you that I am healthier and happier then I've been in 10 years.

shame on her? no one has any right to tell her what body size she should be. That is between her and her doctor

I admire those people who can ignore the scale. Some how I doubt that I will ever be able to do that. I am well aware that I have some serious issues with overeating and mindless eating. I am also aware that I have a serious sugar addiction.

I realize that putting too much emphasis on the numbers can be just as detrimental (for me) as completely ignoring the number. I am trying my best to incorporate the scale into a healthy way of living.

As far as Oprah, the reason I have always loved her and her show is that she seems so real to me. I will never understand what it is like to have her fortunes, but everything else, it seems like we share a sisterhood. She made me understand that losing weight and maintaining it is a monumental undertaking. Even with chefs and trainers and doctors at her disposal 24/7, ultimately she was unable to keep off the weight. That made me understand that this battle is mainly psychological and therefore I attack it from a different perspective.

I will get over the sadness, and I will always be thankful to Oprah for helping me to open my eyes to my own issues. I did not expect her or anyone to solve it for me. I look forward to that continuing journey, believe it or not.

I wish more celebrites would say "none of your damned business" when asked about their weight control efforts. They're not obligated to share their salaries and financial planning strategies with their fans, and their diet and exercise should be just as off-limits. If celebrities want to share, that's their choice, but the idea that they're obligated to or that they're obligated to share only certain opinions because they're seen as role models is just ridiculous to me.

It's hard enough having friends and family meddling in your weight loss without having to hear it from millions of people. No matter what you do, knowing that millions of people are commenting about it to your face and behind your back, "I'm focusing on health and happiness," probably is just a diplomatic way of saying "butt the heck out of my personal life. This time I'm keeping my efforts or lack of them to myself. This is none of your business."

The idea that celebrities are obligated to open up every bit of their personal struggles to the world, and are obligated to be superhuman with no visible weaknesses because people choose to see them as role models, is just totally messed up.

Yes- for Oprah it is not betwee her and her doctor. She has made a life by putting herself out there for the public to look up to and admire. By doing that she has an obligation to be an example fo people. By stating that she is not going to concern herself with the number she may have an affect on others who may need to pay attention to that numbe. The number that you are on the scale has a direct influence on your "health and happiness".

I agree that celebrities shouldn't have to bare their souls or their bodies (metaphorically or physically) to the world, but once they do go public with something, they will always be under scrutiny for it. Once Oprah opened up about her weight and made it a topic of national conversation, she made it acceptable to talk about it, to notice it, to comment on it.

Maybe it shouldn't be that way, but it is--and not just for famous people who have extra weight. Celebrities who've gone public about their drug use, plastic surgeries, or eating disorders are forever after monitored for more signs of past troubles becoming present concerns. Once something's public knowledge, it never becomes private again--even more so if the celebrity in question becomes known for that something, like Oprah Winfrey and her weight-loss shows.

I respect her tremendously for being so open about her weight and her efforts to keep it as she wants it. So much that she's said and done has resonated with me and millions of other people. Even people who have the money for personal trainers, private chefs, and the best home gym in the universe still aren't guaranteed to be willowy--that's the real truth about weight loss, not the stuff sold with unrealistic "before" and "after" pictures in the backs of magazines, and that lesson alone probably saved more people from catastrophe than anything else Oprah's ever done.

I hope that people respect her decision to live life without discussions of her weight. She's asked that the subject be taken off the table and it should be enough; it's not like she's a fitness guru whose livelihood depends on her weight, so there's no reason why her weight should be an issue. But I don't think that will be the case, either in celebrity magazines or around office water coolers, because people will always remember that Oprah show when she came out in size 10 jeans after her liquid diet or the one when she wheeled out a wagon containing the amount of fat she'd lost or the one when she described her most extreme eating habits or low points.

Those of us who aren't famous would still have our weight scrutinized and discussed if we were to say "I'm focusing on health and happiness"; I'm pretty sure that Oprah will still be prone to that same scrutiny. Wrong? Yeah, probably...but unfortunately, weight (at either extreme) is an issue that everyone can readily see and discuss in a way that other private behaviors aren't.

Like it or not, Oprah is like the leader of a cult, she has tremendous power over thousands of people who follow her every movement. The only reason people know so much about her personal life is because she herself put it out there. It's hard to now try and keep private things private, especially being as famous as she is there will always be people leaking her secrets and paps trying to get photos etc.

I think it's great she's doing this. This may be just the change she needs to love herself at any weight, and therefore not obsess about it cause her to gain.

I understand that Oprah wants to shut the door (which she opened) on this topic and the public should give her that much.

I hope that the end of "Oprah" and the beginning of the her new OWN channel takes her out of the public eye enough and restores her so that she is able to focus on a healthy lifestyle that may again lead to healthy weight loss and maintenance which she keeps behind that shut door!!!

I get that the number on the scale should not dictate your happiness level but your happiness level does not change your cholesterol, glucose levels, hormone levels, arthritis, BP rates, muscle tone, etc.


I love Dr. Oz's show. Only excerpts are available on his website.

I totally disagree. She talks about her shoes too, does that mean she would be letting down the world if she wore bad shoes? How about her hair? she's talked about her hair yet I see her in a ponytail sometimes. Is she letting us down then? She talks about her jouney in life and accepting she will never be super skinny without resorting to unhealthy extremes is part of her journey. She is a talk show host not a trainer or diet expert.

I disagree that she opened the conversation on her weight. Any regular ol' fat girl can tell you that just existing as a fat person opens the conversation about your weight. Comics and talk show hosts talked about her weight LONG before she did. If anything, I think she was bullied into talking about her weight and dealing with it publicly. Good for her if she's decided to change her focus and try a new approach. The old one certainly wasn't working and she doesn't owe any random audience member so much that she should sacrifice her own health, mental or physical.

She's an entertainer, not a role model. It's time we all grew up and stopped thinking that fame and fortune somehow make you smarter or better. Everyone has issues. No one is perfect. We all have to fight our own battles.

There's a difference, though, between late-night talk show hosts and comics riffing on some aspect of a person's appearance--they talk about Yao Ming and Danny DeVito for being statistical outliers physically as well--and specifically opening the door to legitimate discussion instead of jokes.

I'm glad that she opened that door, yet I'm certainly not blaming her for wanting to close it now. I'm sure she's a different person now than she was decades ago when she did the Optifast liquid diet. She undoubtedly has different priorities and probably a whole lot more toughness and self-confidence; with greater age comes greater perspective on things like weight and health and beauty.

It's not a matter of believing that she's a role model or that fame and fortune make her smarter and better. On the contrary, I believe she's very much like anyone who's tried her damnedest and still fought the same battle against her weight despite having every advantage that wealth can bring. (How many of us have said, "It'd be easy if I had my own gym/personal chef/personal trainer?" Turns out it's not exactly easy even then.)

But she has made that battle public, just as she's making her decision to declare a detente public. It's going to be talked about. For some people, it's going to be an inspiration to do likewise; for others, it's going to feel sad because they feel they've shared her journey; and for still others, it's something they consider none of their business.

We're on this site because discussing things with others sometimes provides a lot of insight, inspiration, or clarity. Oprah Winfrey did that on a grand scale, discussing her weight and the issues related to it with an audience of millions. She can't un-ring that bell of her weight being a matter of public discourse--but what she can do is no longer participate in such discussions and let it die down to being the province of late-night jokesters and stand-up comedians again--because they're always going to make such jokes...always, always, always.

Although a funny thing has happened...I hear more jokes made about her being fabulously rich, phenomenally powerful, and overwhelmingly generous than I do about her weight these days. Gotta be doing something right if you're the subject of jokes like that. :)

I don't think it matters who opened the door. Celebrity or not, sharing your life "opening the door" doesn't obligate you to keep it open. I think she has the same right as any citizen to choose to discuss or not, any topic whenever and however she wishes. She can change her mind whenever and however she wishesl

The public does not own the personal lives of celebrities (though there are a lot of people who act as if they do). To some degree, we do own the fame, to a degree, because people can stop paying attention any time they want to, but to feel you have a right to personal information, just because she shared it in the past is just ridiculous.

Even if she were a weight loss guru, and going into retirement or deciding "you know I've just decided that I just don't care if I'm fat or not," is perfectly within her right to do. You can think it's nuts or stupid or even wrong, but to say she's obligated to keep up the fight and to keep us all informed as to her efforts and progress, that's just plain ridiculous.

Absolutely agree with the bolded bit. More power to her for closing the door if that's what she chooses to do.

I guess what I'm saying is that once a celebrity has made something public knowledge, they no longer control what's already come through that once-open door, to further that analogy. People will forever be aware that Starlet A had a problem with drug abuse or that Singer B had weight-loss surgery, so they will always be the subject of some scrutiny for those things. If Starlet A gets fired from a bio-pic, speculation about past addictions will happen; if Singer B gains some weight, it's going to get a spread in a celebrity rag.

It may be ridiculous, but it's also the price of celebrity. It's no different for those who aren't famous, either--it's just that the circle of people who know about the past--who looked through that open door--is smaller. But any social group--an office, a family, a high school class, a guild in an MMORPG--who's gotten a glimpse through others' open doors remembers. They can be asked to treat the now-closed door with courtesy, but they can't be asked to pretend the past never existed.

Someone who hasn't seen me in years may ask me, "Weren't you thin once upon a time?" because...well, I was, and I crowed about it, and I was proud of it. I can say "I prefer not to discuss it now, as I'm focusing on other things," but it doesn't change the fact that for that person, I am still "that chick who used to be fat, then wasn't, and now is fat like whoa." Of course they'll have questions.

Multiply that by millions and you have fame. It's the ugly side of fame, yes, but that's the nature of the beast.

All of your comments are very interesting. I really don't have any feelings one way or the other about Oprah's celebrity status. I don't feel that she owes me (the random viewer, as someone put it), anything at all. Not with regard to weight loss or anything else.

I will just simply miss her as a year-to-year weight loss buddy. Much the same as I would miss my walking partner or this forum if it suddenly closed down and I could no longer come here for comfort and inspiration.