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you take your current weight and times that by 11. The number you get means that you eat that amount in calories per day to maintain your current weight. Now if you take your goal weight and times that by 11, that will give you the amount you should be eating to reach that goal. My first goal is 280, so: 280 x 11 = 2800 calories per day.
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Yes, those calculators and little thing a ma jigs don't work when you reach a certain weight. Unfortunately, people are very ignorant spreading around the info when it comes to obese and super morbidly obese folks. Besides, it really is an individual thing, what works for one, won't necessarily work for another.
2800 calories is way on the high side.
You're also eating very calorie dense foods. Quinoa, salmon, avocado. If you're off with your measurements just a tad, you have taken in even more calories than you think, more than the 2800 that you've been shooting for.
I'd make certain that you are accurately measuring those items as well as oil, peanut butter and nuts and other high calorie foods items.
If your measurements are a bit off on for instance cauliflower, it's not a huge difference. One cup of cauliflower has 48 calories, so if it's really a cup and a quarter, you're only off by 12 calories. But if you're eating peanut butter and are off by a tablespoon, that's an additional unaccounted for 100 calories. Quinoa? You're off by a half cup, that's an additional 135 calories. Little things add up.
Since you are cutting back on the calories, so as not to be hungry, I'd add in some more voluminous foods - such as piles and piles of roasted veggies, large stir-frys, thick hearty veggies soups, enormous salads. I wouldn't worry all that much about getting that fat in, as your trainer suggests. I'd focus on that volume. Filling power and pure chewing satisfaction.. Very important to me.
Please don't be daunted by all these numbers. Once you get the hang of it, it's quite simple. Really. It will take some time though.
It sounds like a little hard work doesn't scare you though! Sounds like you're up for the task. You are SO going to do this.
I look forward to hearing of your progress.