Feeling guilty about this, but….
Over the past year or so, I’ve lost about 60 lbs (about 5-10 more to go), and I’ve done it in I think a pretty healthy way – eating more whole foods, I rarely eat bread or pasta (and 9 times out of ten, if it’s an option, opt for whole grain), drinking lots of water, and exercising (combo of cardio (mainly running) and weight/strength classes at my gym, and pilates). Anyway, my whole life, my immediate family has been overweight – mom, dad, sister. My mom and sister, I’d say, are obese. My sister, for example, is probably about 230, and is 5’3. My mom I’d say is the same weight, but about 5’6. My dad has recently lost a bit of weight and is now close to normal and almost out of the overweight range. It’s not that we as a family ate junk food, rarely did we eat fast food or go out to eat, and a lot of what we grew up eating was whole foods (and we always had salad or a veggie with dinner) – we just ate a lot of it I guess. We also were always in sports, and both of my parents have been active, either going for long daily walks or swimming, elliptical, etc. Also, not to mention they’re all definitely classified as “foodies”, know all about the latest food trends, best restaurants, and absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE to cook. That’s what our holidays and family trips are based around – menu planning, food shopping, and cooking. Bottom line is, they definitely see food (more so cooking) as an interest and a passion, which is fine. I can fully understand and appreciate that. However, recently (and this past Thanksgiving made it even more abundantly clear) I’ve been feeling a bit… frustrated. Mainly with my sister. I don’t know if it’s jealousy, but sometimes I get the impression that she thinks I’m depriving myself and that I’m too restrictive in what I eat, and almost that she has an attitude that “you may have lose weight but you did it in an extreme way and I’m living life to the fullest more than you because I’m not so restrictive and I’m doing it the healthy way” She has never said this to my face, but she has made comments about how I need to loosen up and life is too short not to indulge in an extra piece of pie b/c thanksgiving is, afterall, only once a year and that I’m nuts. And this makes me just want to scream – if you think your way of losing weight (which I know she’s trying to do) is so much better than mine, than why did I just lose 60 lbs and you have lost barely anything!?!? And what’s really bad, is that I feel like it’s making me lose some respect for her in other areas of life, like I can’t look up to her as much anymore (she’s 3 years older than me). Like I got my weight in check, why can’t you see what you're doing isn't enough? Sometimes, even if it’s something totally not related to weight at all, it’s like I can’t respect her when she tries to preach what she thinks is right and what others are doing wrong.
Does this all make sense? She works out almost daily, and doesn’t eat “junk” necessarily either, I just think she eats too much of it. We live about 800 miles apart, so I don’t see her enough to really monitor what she’s eating, just on vacations and holidays when she pulls the “it’s once a year, why not” card.
Has anyone else felt this way about a family member or someone else you're close to? I feel really bad about it, and I want to be able to fully look up to my sister again, but I can’t shake this feeling.
