My son is on the autism spectrum and having gained a few pounds around his hips and middle--we are trying to nip this in the bud quickly.
The reason I mentioned the autism spectrum is because it radically changes the way he is willing to participate in sports. He is high functioning, but hates most competitive sports because they are too chaotic. The rules are quite subtle and don't make sense to some children.
I have found a sports group catering to children who don't thrive in other environments. Some are overweight, some have disabilities and some are just working on gross motor skills. This is a no pressure group and it is awesome.
I have found that my ds complains when I make him exercise, ie) take him on walks or hiking no matter how fun I try to make it. The solution? Find a peer who is really active instead. My ds loves to swim at the pool with his hyper friend from down the street. This friend engages him into action and gets him moving.
I am also testing my child for food sensitivities. My physician has been talking about the epidemic cases of dairy and gluten sensitivities he has seen, not to mention candida yeast. It is possible that your son may have some food sensitivities, weight gain is one of many subtle symptoms.
From my own experience, I am also trying to make my children drink water- and lots of it. I still surprise myself for thinking I am hungry when I am really thirsty.
Oh, and the Mom who bribes her kids with electronics? I do it too! Pokemon DS Heart Gold/ Soul Silver games come with a pedometer. The more the child moves the better Pokemon they can find. It is a win win.

My son's 10 and he wanted to send a message to you.

He said to tell you first of all that you sound like a really nice person and so your son must be too. That it's a shame you don't live nearer so they could do things together.

Then he said that you should all be in it together, and should keep moving. Moving is better than sitting around (he was a bit keen at this point - he does read a great deal whilst sitting and lying around ... but I'm sure you get the idea). And moving is better than always competing.

His specific recommendations were walking (running will come a bit later, according to him), the mini trampoline, sit-ups (his big thing at the moment) and ... darts for those cold, dark, wet nights (do you have those where you live?) He thinks darts are good, especially if your son is a bit technically/mathematically minded. Movement and arithmetic. (He told me this whilst I was washing up and taking my turn at darts with him - we have the board up in the kitchen.)

So, Eliana, I said I'd pass all this on. Very good luck. :hug: And, yes, it is a shame you don't live nearer. We could all have a go on the tennis court!

I was overweight (not hugely) as a kid and was put on Weight Watchers at age 11, if I remember right. It promptly caused me to begin sneaking food, eating in secret, etc. No kid should ever feel hungry, seriously, fat or not.

My mother (bless her heart) just wanted to help me be more of a normal kid but the scars from "dieting" remain. I remember knowing that I was different than other kids and feeling shameful about it.

I am 22 but find myself strongly drawn towards buying weird things like fruit roll-ups now because they were not allowed then.

Some people never forget what happened to them as kids-
I still feel nervous/guilty if I eat a snacky "kid" food, and still have a hard time with my mother sometimes for doing that to me.

Everyone has given you great advice, (and you sound like a wonderful mom trying to encourage healthiness) I would just urge you to remember that any vibe you give him now may be remembered (heavily) forever.

You've gotten lots of good advice :) And huge props to you for being such a wonderful and sensitive mother.

I'm not a parent, so I can only imagine what a tough situation this is for you. I was always chubby, though never "fat," as a child. In a way, I definitely wish that my parents had stepped in and helped me with my weight earlier. They were divorced, and my mom was a single working mom who never had time to cook. I had either fast food or Kraft Mac n' Cheese nearly every night. On weekend visits to my dad's, he'd spoil me with hot fudge sundaes and other junk. They weren't doing me any favors, that's for sure. And my weight was never really brought up except for some random side comments that always stuck with me.

One activity that I thought of was geocaching. Basically, people hide little "treasures" (mostly just little knick knack things, I think), and they post the exact coordinates of the location online. Then you can look up location points within such and such miles of your home, take your GPS and go find them! Basically a hiking treasure hunt with technology. It popped into my head when you mentioned he was enthusiastic about technology. This way he could play with a gadget and have a motive to get outside and active. It would be a fun family activity too...he could be the family navigator. I know some families get pretty serious about it and go on geocaching roadtrips.

Silverbirch, please give your ten year old a great big old hug! What a little sweetie! He certainly has some great ideas, sit-ups aside. ;) LOL! In fact, I just asked him "What's your favorite exercise, like sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks?" His answer? "I hate all of them." That's ok! I understand! It's all hard, hard, hard! So we're getting it in sneakily.

Kaala, yes, you've described my fear. It's every parent's fear. No one knows just what they may do to ruin their children for life. I try to strike a happy balance. For instance, I hid the Halloween candy and give them each 14 pieces at the beginning of each week. I like my sweets and believe in moderation, so we go out for ice cream probably once a week. I spoil them with really good cookies from the Whole Foods store now and then, not often at all. I just don't buy crappy cookies from the store. We'll eat chips with Subway, but we don't have them in the house. They get fruit snacks on road trips, but we don't have them in the house. That kind of thing.

Megan, someone else mentioned GEO caching too, so now I need to ask. How can you make it a hike? We've done it a few times and it's a matter of driving up to the location and looking around a little. I guess maybe stop the car before we actually got to the location? But how do you know you're in a location that lends itself to walking?

Maybe you have to look at the site further to find details but I've been on hikes where I've seen geocache boxes. (ie somewhere that you would have to walk at least a mile to get to)

Do you have any known hiking/walking trails near you? I would think if you found geocache spots at those sites, then you could start there?

GEO caching is awesome!
I don't know about the US, but in Germany, we have a lot of pre-set caching challenges that you do on foot. In some places you can also rent the GPS equipment with pre-programmed locations. Sometimes they are set up as "treasure hunts" where you don't get the location for the next cache without solving a puzzle or finding a clue - those are the best!

Start at geocaching.com or check out local state/national parks that might already have treasure hunts in place.

How about having a weekly family meeting to plan meals and snacks. Sometimes taking the daily choice out is helpful. If you have agreed that on Monday after school snack is hummus with pita, then that is what it is. We do this including planning any treats we might have. This is win win in our family because we then all eat things that we like (or at least don't hate)

I do this kind of planning because it simplifies grocery shopping and i don't have to think before i cook. It also helps everyone know what we are eating, just check the list on the fridge. My guys don't participate in the weekly plan but we discuss it on a regular basis and they make suggestions for what should be in the rotation. That way they can't complain about what they got for lunch since it was in the 'approved' list. Also it means that we don't run out of stuff because we have a plan.

the other thing that may help are things like making sure that anything that comes in a box eg. crackers is repackaged in appropriate serving sizes. I've read studies where they present snacks to kids on a plate vs in a baggie/tupperware container and if you have a container, you tend to think that is the serving size (no matter how many serving sizes there actually are in the container/bag). So that might also be a simple way to give a cue about how much is appropriate to eat.

Also how about ensuring that all snacks have a bit of fat or protein eg. 1 apple with a tbspoon of peanut butter may make you feel more satiated than the 5 apples. I know i've had that with fruit, where you just never feel full...

hope these ideas help. Good luck and don't despair. remember your job is to offer healthy well-portioned foods. His job is to eat it or not.

I wrote a really, really long post, but it rambled and made very little sense.

As someone who was overweight and who (sorry mom) was not dealt with properly regarding that weight, all I can say is this:

If your son does not develop will-power (to stick with a sport, to not eat unhealthily), he will not be physically healthy. If he doesn't know what is unhealthy, he can't have the will-power to not eat unhealthily. Does he know why flatbread covered in peanut butter is bad? Last but not least, the best thing to encourage success is success.

So educate him on nutrition. Then, do everything you can to make sure he stops giving up on stuff. And every single time he does something right, make sure he knows how great it is that he succeeded.

You can also incorporate more walking by being a bad shopper. For example, park at one end of the mall when what you need is at the other. When you get back to the car end, remember something else at the other end that you need. Same with grocery shopping. Purposely forget thing in the aisles so there is a lot of back and forth.

Does he help with meal planning and preparation? Maybe you could have him tell you the foods he wants that you don't get to have often and then you could work together on making them healthier?

Could you have him take acting classes? Those tend to be active and also fun for kids who are into more creative things than athletic things. And if he is into video games, maybe go to the arcade and play there, where he will be standing and possibly even playing games that require movement. If he likes football, take him to the field and have touchdown races where you run with the ball the length of the field.

You say that you only have milk and water to drink in the house. Do you limit his milk? I adore milk and we used to go through a gallon a day, easily, between the three of us. Milk is good for you, but also an easy way to pack on a lot of calories. Maybe make it a rule that milk is only drunk with meals.

You are doing a good job, though, and you shouldn't feel bad. My friend has two sons. Both were breast fed on demand and had healthy infancies. One was a chunky baby and still has to be really aware of what he eats. Both boys could eat the same thing and the one will gain weight and one won't. Some people are simply more efficient at storing and using calories. Just keep gently guiding him and loving him.

To Eliana and all of the moms here, I just want to send my support to all of you! :hug: It's really clear how much you care about and love your kids. I don't know that I have the best advice. Sometimes you have to just do your best. Limit the snacks in the house, offer exercise opportunities, guide them nutritionally--something you are all doing. As they say, "You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make them drink." Being a mom is so hard sometimes. We have to watch our kids make mistakes and be there for them when they fall down, both literally and figuratively...

I'm a mom of a three year old boy. I've been obese my whole life and sometimes struggle to not show my son any food issues. Like placing value on treats and things. I don't want him to covet them. So if we have them I don't make a huge deal about it being special.

Anyway, I'm sure you already do but please tell your son all the time that you love him the way he is, you aren't embarrassed of him, arent ashamed. That you are proud and want him to be healthy and strong. I have many scars from my childhood of my father and the way he dealt with my weight. If you think you've told him enough tell him again. I'd tackle his self esteem and the weight might follow. :)

I've not read all the replies so please forgive me if I repeat something someone else has said. :-)

I'm a mom, my kids are considerably younger than your son, but we've already been hounded by the pediatrician about my 3 year old's weight (she weighs 44lbs). Honestly I think she's just a big kid as she's also tall and eats like a bird, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like at some level I may be setting her up to be an overweight/obese/miserable child like I was. So this post kind of hit home for me on a certain level.

As far as your son, have you tried to tackle the social issues? If he feels left out during sports and feels like his brother outshines him (man, that reminds me of myself as a kid), maybe a club or organization that centers around something he enjoys, like electronics or music, would help him form the self confidence that would help him to be more comfortable in other areas of his life, like physical activity. Also less time for him to be hanging at home snacking. It would also give him some new friends with the same interests as him who may also have other, more physical, interests that he could pick up on and share.

That's the only contribution I have right now. I'm going to go back and read the other posts and see if anything else jumps out at me. In the mean time... :hug:

I have a question about snacking? Why are kids (other than little, little kids) getting snack? I know it may be an american cultural thing but it is also what makes americans more obese than non-snacking cultures.

I have a 10 yo. He rarely has a snack. You could tell your children snacking is only for little kids or for special events. That might help. My younest still snacks. We point out that if you have a snack it is something small to tide you over till the next meal. So, a very small bowl of cereal, one fruit, a handful of nuts and that's it.

I think snacking is mostly because people get hungry within the 6-7 hours between the three main meals of the day, more if you get up early and don't get home for dinner until late... Honestly I think that's fairly natural. I agree that the type of snack should be healthy, but I don't think snacking in and of itself makes Americans obese, I think it's the excessive nature of our culture that is more to blame. But that's another post entirely. :-)

wow, i'm glad you are seeing some progress!!! i wish we all had parents who cared and understood. my suggestion was going to be also take him hiking (with you participating) at a local/state/national park if you live close enough. it's hard not to like a lake, streams, nature, especially when you have a companion to do it with you. because some of the other things are just telling him to do it, and he will be picky about what he wants. and at some point, you are the parent and he is the child; he needs to exercise a certain amount just like he needs to shower every day, even if it's not his favorite thing to do. but it seems that you have found some ways to motivate him for himself by helping him:):)

Mmm, I disagree. I think snacking on the right foods is a GOOD thing. I think skipping meals and snacks may be part of the issue as it leads to later bingeing. Frequent meals/snacks (all small) keep the metabolism revved. It's how I lost nearly 80 pounds. It also keeps you from being hungry, so you eat less at meals.

I try to control his snacking as much as a mom can control her 10 year old's snacking. He does have a tendency to be sneaky.

Snacking is part of my plan and a vital one at that.

Of course I'm not speaking about snacking on cookies and chips.

I'm talking about snacking on grape tomatoes, an apple, a small bag of popcorn. Something to keep my hunger at bay, my energy in tact and my sugar levels even.

I need my snacks. As healthy and filling as my meals are, they're just not going to be enough to keep me going for hours and hours and hours..

When children get over hungry, it sets them up not only to overeat later and make poor choices when they do eat, but to not be focused on their school work. I think it's important for kids to snack (properly) for the same reasons that I snack.

Hi, Someone sent me a link to an article by Mark Harmon, MD called Food Addiction: Could it explain why 70% of Americans Are Fat? I'm computer illiterate or I would post a link. Have a look I found it enlightening. It's about Big Food and how we and our kids get hooked.

I think the snacking is definitely a cultural thing.

I've lived in places where people just don't snack. I worked as an au pair girl in France, and at the afternoon snack, the adults drank coffee, and only the kids had something to eat. At first, I would always help myself to the food, but finally the lady of the house commented to me that normally adults did not eat at snack time-- the snack was only for children. And even that "snack" was very formal, like a little sit down meal, always at the table, always at the same time of day. It was not the kind of snacking my kids do, where they whiz past the fridge, pull the door open and stand their staring at it until they decide what to pull out.

I don't think frequent snacking is wrong or right per se. What matters is total number of calories, however it's divided up. But I don't think snacks are NECESSARY. Kids can eat at meals only and do just fine. It has more to do with what they expect and what they are used to.

I also agree that snacking can be a good thing - if it's done with the right foods.
In Germany, snacking is fairly common. School children have a 10-20 minute break at school around 10am and the teachers encourage them to bring (healthy) snacks/sandwiches from home. At the office, 10am is usually "coffee break" and it's fairly common for someone to bring in treats (e.g. there is always someone with a birthday). My sister's team at work gathers every Friday to have a 10am "sausage breaks". And yes, they still eat lunch later.

A lot of people also have coffee and cake around 3-4pm, much like the English tea time. Especially on weekends, it's common for the family to gather for a piece of homemade cake, fruit bread or cookies. So, it's definitely not a US thing. I just think there is a problem with portion sizes and proliferation of fatty/sugary/chemically enhanced foods - and people don't know anymore what is "normal" food.
Anyway, this is way off topic :lol:. Hope you're getting your son motivated for some activities! :hug:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mar..._b_764863.html

Is this it?

There are lots of books and articles on the subject of our culture of fake and processed foods. You might also like Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I had no idea just how far gone we are as a country - even the types of seeds we can get for growing our own food is highly managed and controlled. We live in a land of fake food, it is truly no wonder people are fat and unhealthy.