I don't mean to offend or step on your toes here, but what happens if your body doesn't cooperate with you and you don't lose the specified amount of weight in the specified amount of time? Do you give up? Does your family disown you, your boyfriend leave you, your boss fire you?

Also, if you're giving yourself a year in which to lose the weight, why are you sweating the past few days of scale immobility so much? You deserve to take it a little easier on yourself, because it sounds like you're working hard and highly motivated. :)

Someone who needs to lose weight to have a scheduled surgery or who wants to look svelte for his/her wedding, for example, has good reason to set a "lose by" date. Deadlines can be motivational. They can also be tyrannical and set people up for doing dangerous things or developing disordered eating in an attempt to do what they have told themselves they MUST do.

Again, I don't want to butt into your business, but the all-or-nothing thinking, the difficulties you're having with going out and living life (I inferred that from your post about being stuck in your room, but correct me if I'm wrong), and the sense of dire urgency you seem to have about weight loss might be reasons to seek some professional advice. Whether that's counseling to deal with the feelings of "I MUST get skinny NOW" or a dietician to help you realize your year-long goal, someone who can take a good, hard, objective look at the overall picture can be a major help.

Oh, and Oprah may be "old," but when you consider that eventually, everyone's options boil down to "old" or "dead," aging doesn't seem like such a bad thing. (I can only hope to be so rich at her age, too!) :D

To the OP, I don't believe you're trying to offend anyone...I believe you're just trying to get information. However, based on how most people on here post, your comments may be misinterpreted. When posting in black and white print, it's nice to add some comments to help people understand your intentions. So, rather than saying that what someone says is ridiculous, you may say, "I really do appreciate your comment, but I find it hard to believe that x, y and z is true." See what I mean? That way, you could let the person know that you're not insulting them but don't necessarily agree with their comment. I have to be honest that when I first read your comment, I found it quite harsh but then I saw a trend in your posts that indicated that this is just how you communicate....at least in print.

Also, I know you meant your comment of "Oprah is old" as a joke, but we have members here of all ages and that can be an insensitive comment as well.

I hope you don't slam me, but I really am just trying to help. As Rodney King once said, "Can't we all just get along?"

Hi. You do sound awfully frantic, angry, and stressed. Did you know that stress can cause your weight loss to stall and even reverse?

So that's one of the benefits of exercise. It reduces stress. :)

Another benefit is that it strengthens your muscles and gets them in shape so that they can burn fat. Muscle is the primary fat-burning tissue.

Another benefit is that it helps stabilize blood glucose, so if you are diabetic or pre-diabetic, exercise can reverse that.

It also helps lower blood pressure.

I think that if you are going to exercise, you'll need to increase calories. Otherwise, you won't have enough nutrients to support the exercise. I also don't think it's a good idea to eat below 1200 for an extended period of time. You can't get enough nutrients for sleeping that way, let alone exercising.

I would suggest that you take a moment or two to chill out and breathe a bit, and then evaluate what help you might get and where. A registered dietitian might be able to give you a program on which you could succeed. A counselor or therapist might be able to help you feel less desperate and unhappy. :)

I hope you succeed! Lots of people have given you feedback here. It seems like you don't like what anyone has said, so we're sort of at a loss... :dunno:

Jay

I would say what you read was wrong from my experience. I don't have a lean body, yet. I do know many weight lifters who do though. There are many ladies on this forum who have lifted heavy weights throughout their weight loss and have resulted in very lean bodies.

Ok, wait a second... I'm not trying to butt into your business but since you put it out there... your boyfriend will leave you if you don't lose weight? Is this really the kind of person you want to be with?

I really don't understand this at all... but best of luck with your goals.

If I'd put a timeframe on my weight loss with these kinds of consequences I would have set myself up for miserable failure....

Wow...has he actually said that to you? "Lose weight or I walk?" If he hasn't, you may be assuming a bit much about his attitude toward your weight. He sounds like he's trying to be supportive in talking with you about it--that's at odds with the callousness of a "lose it or lose me" ultimatum.

It sounds like you have a lot of worries already if you have a difficult home life. Additional pressure--whether it's from your own belief that you'll be boyfriendless if you don't lose or from his telling you so (although that'd be cruel)--sure doesn't help, I'll bet. I'm sorry things are so rough right now and hope that they'll improve, not just on the weight front but in general.

And if your boyfriend hasn't actually issued such an ultimatum, don't assume he would. The good ones are happy to see you whether you're skinny, fat, or anything in between. :)

You have every right to find the best way for you to be more healthy and lose weight. I just have one question.
What happens with your goals the day after your event?
For me, there is an event coming up that has served as inspiration for me to start, but I have 100lb still to lose. I have had to look past the one event, so I can really be as healthy as possible long-term.
In the end it is your body, your health, your choice. I hope the information you have received can help with your decision. Good luck.

Hey!. Just read some more posts. For what its worth, your plan seems aggressive but achievable, even if you chose to give yourself some "testing" time. (I hope so, because I am aiming for approximately the same range... see my numbers. )
Not cool enough to pm yet, but would love to chat some more. I probably can't give any advice, but would love to learn what you are doing.
Again, Good luck!

I was going with others on the not enough calories. If you cut too many calories your body changes to "starvation mode" and decides to hoard all the calories you do consume as well as drastically lower your metabolic rate.
The best combination of exercise that I have learned is cardio with interval training. That means...jog at a slow pace for a minute and a half. Then do 30 seconds of just full on running as fast as you can. And repeat.
Weights are an excellent edition, because while they do build muscle, they also help burn fat and replace that fat with muscle. Muscle also does require more calories daily as opposed to fat.
If it's been more than a month with no reduction in weight, I would then contact a physician to perform thyroid testing to see if your thyroid is causing issues.

Sadly, my PMs are disabled because I'm still a relative newbie. I'm sorry; I can't enable 'em for a bit yet. :(

I don't want to poke my nose where it doesn't belong, but if it's an online or long-distance thing, I understand--I watched a friend do something similar and then panicked when the time came to meet the guy in person. (Theirs was a happy ending, by the way; they both fudged a little on their weight, had a good laugh about it, and lived happily ever after on his apple farm in upstate NY. )

People generally lie for one of two reasons: to conceal some rotten thing they did or to make themselves look better. The former is vastly worse than the latter and you haven't done that, I gather. He knows you're working on your weight and sounds supportive; a guy like that is unlikely to be superficial. Give him some credit and yourself some slack. :)

As for people thinking you're a jerk, I'm sure forum regulars have read the same stuff I have about how as much as 70% of what people write in e-mails or on message boards can get misinterpreted. I was once accused of "aiming for Dorothy Parker, but coming off like Nancy Grace." (That one stung a little. :D)

Someone in a previous post (was it JayEll?) made a really good point: stress can cause weight gain or retention and diets can cause stress, so you're kind of caught in a feedback loop here. I'm glad you're deciding to pick up exercise at a later date if not right away; I'm finding it's a huge stress relief.

I know that feeling. Hang in there! :-)

.

if you have only been exercising a couple days it is likely just water retention. Sore muscles are swollen muscles. Doesn't mean you aren't still losing fat though. Just that the water is hiding the loss. Also you've lost a lot of weight. Your body is going to go through some plateaus and adjustments. You aren't going to lose weight at the same rate all along.

The fastest, while still being healthiest way to lose weight, is to stick with your plan. No cheat days, no cheat meals.

And you don't have to do anything extreme - just stick with your plan.

The best way to stick with your plan is to make it stick-able to. Adhering to a calorie allotment of 1200 - 1400 calorie of highly nutritious, satiating foods -lots of veggies, proteins, some fruits. Walking 30- 45 minutes a day. Use that resistance band every other day. Given your starting weight, nothing more is needed.

It's all in the consistency.

Everything is not against us. Except ourselves perhaps.

WEight loss is not an instant gratification type thing. It takes time to nail down a plan. To find foods that you like that are lower calorie. To start implementing good, lasting habits. For those habits to become ingrained in us.

WEight loss is not meant to be uncomfortable and painful. It does though take some time to switch from not so good habits to good ones.

It's not about some quick fix. It's about learning to eat in a mature, responsible manner. Which for decades I didn't do. I was responsible with everything else - but not my food. It was time for a change.

Slow down. Breathe. You can't *fix* this over night. You've got to take it one day at a time, making the most of each day. Patience, perseverance, brutal honesty, determination - that's what's needed to get the job done.

No. I didn't delete my post.
Yes. An hour weight lifting is a lot, but like I said, I am in training mode right now :)

How old are you? You said you can't leave yout bad home life without him? Unless you are under 18, you absolutely can and you don't need to rely on a man to rescue you. Your posts sound very fatalistic, which makes me worry about what you will do if you slip up. Not saying that you will, but if.

Can you just come clean with your boyfriend? You may be pleasantly surprised. You seem to be projecting your ideas onto his actions without giving him a chance to prove otherwise to you. It sounds like you are assuming he will leave you if he finds out you are fat, but unless he says exactly that, you don't know.

Good luck.

My experience is with weight lifting ie barbells, dumbbells and body weight exercises. The girls at my gym are amazing and can lift lots of weight (well over 100 lbs, some over 200 lbs), do pullups, pushups, etc. Bands are good, I like bands but they aren't my preferred exercise.

I wanted to say that I weigh 216 and have to eat between 1,600 and 1,800 calories to lose. I would highly suggest eating more calories. It has helped me imensely. Keep working out it will pay off in the end. It isn't magic- You didn't gain the weight overnight so it will in turn take time for it to go away.

Weight training has helped me a lot too. I do weights at least 2 times a week. It helps build muscle! (I have noticed sometimes I don't lose on the scale but rather in inches)
Another thing is you need to lose the weight for you not a man. Girl you don't need a man! If he doesn't love you for who you are then that's not fair to you! Take your time with the weight loss it isn't healthy to lose that much so fast.
Lastly.....GOOD LUCK! Keep us updated :)

Okay so I just read all the posts...I know I need a life...anyhow.
You should for sure just come clean- It will give a lot less stress on you! I'm sure he will like you no matter how you look :) Looks shouldn't matter anyhow!

My husband is a marine, so I'm really not appreciating the implication that comes along with your post. Not all marines will put an ultimatum on their relationship.

I can see so many reasons why your weight would be stalling out. Starting a new exercise regime, the very low amount of calories, the stress. They are ALL contributors to weight stalls.

To be honest, I cannot wish you good luck on your plan because everything about it is unhealthy. The physical AND the emotional.

You are a woman deserving of love and happiness, from others and from within yourself. You deserve a happy and healthy body. So many of your posts talk about how this weight is temporary but you are making it anything but. Yeah, it's coming off now, but with the way you're going about it the first time you fall off the wagon, or when you get to a more "comfortable" weight, and start to increase your calories... it will come RIGHT back on. I can promise you that. What happens when you meet your boyfriend? What if you're still not good enough? What about when you get to goal, and you have loose skin? What about scars from getting a tummy tuck? What if you guys get married and have children and you gain weight again? You deserve so much more than what you're giving yourself.

Like I said, I will not wish you luck on your plan. However, I do wish you luck on this journey. I hope that through this experience you find love for yourself and you find a path to true health and happiness.