Eating healthy foods take lots longer to prepare than unhealthy ones. But you know what, raising great kids take more effort than raising *mediocre* ones. Running a household well takes more effort than letting it run amok. That's okay. It's all effort, work, time, thought, etc. that I'm willing to put in, because the reward, the outcome is just SO worth it.
Except maintenance is running very hard to stay in one place, while weight loss is running toward a finish line somewhere up ahead.
I like this and want to change "except" to "accept".
ACCEPT [that] maintenance is running very hard to stay in one place, while weight loss is running toward a finish line somewhere up ahead.
(And yes, I know you actually meant "except". )
Ncuneo, I couldn't do maintenance your way. I never was a binge eater, but to me going off plan just for the weekend would set me up for a really long week. I can go off plan ONE meal, but never for a whole weekend or even a whole day and never a free for all. Going off plan for me means eating a handful of chips at a party and being ok with that. If I did more than that, and I have a few times, it sets me up to have to dig in my heels for at least three days to get back on track, and usually it takes a week or TWO to manage the three days of clean eating it takes. It's hard to get just one day of clean eating under my belt if I've gone off plan more than just a little bit.
I'm not in maintenance, but I have to suggest rethinking your weekends.
Ok, maybe it's not a secret, but maybe not widely talked about as it should be; but maintenance is HARDER than weight loss!
I think is a touchy subject and maybe it should be a secret so as not to discourage anyone, but I'd love for the maintainers to chime in on the ways in which they find maintenance to be harder than weight loss. And just to keep us positive, lets talk about some of the good stuff too.
I don't even know where to start, maybe because I haven't been maintaining or actually that's not quite true, I have been maintaining but not because I want to
But so far I've found I'm struggling more with binging now than before, maybe because I know I can binge for a weekend and then go back to 1600-1800 for the next week and lose the weight again by Friday. Or maybe it's because of some other stuff going on in my life. Or maybe because I'm training and I don't know how to eat and train, only how to exercise and lose. Or because I'm lazy and not doing the work I need to mentally to figure out why I binge.
It's a little harder at restaurants because I know I can go off plan if I *want* to but I still feel like I'm not supposed to.
Oddly the guilt over all of this stuff seems more intense. I feel more guilty when I go off plan, planned or not, now then I did before. I even feel a little guilty for eating my maintenance cals because they seem so high and almost like I'm overeating and if I keep it up I'll start gaining any day.
What's not harder? Exercise, that is easier and more enjoyable and I WANT to do it. Shopping of course, unless you consider the fact that I want to by everything and can't afford to.
I'm not sure what promted this post, I guess it's just I'm afraid of maintenance and I think the time is really here and I'm just not ready to accept it. Although another 10lbs might be nice, it's really not necessary and I don't know if it's worth it. I'd like to give it a try to see if it "solves" some of the body image issues I'm having or at least makes them smaller, but does it really matter? I'd also like to be in the middle of my healthy range and not at the top, especially if we decide to have another child. I don't know...
ETA: I forgot to mention some other good stuff, like just feeling fabulous *most* of the time and feeling slender and fit in general.
It sounds like you are struggling with some emtional stuff. I have no answers - but wanted to say "me, too!" I am not at maintenance yet, but there have been a lot of bumps in the road for me, trying to separate food from emotions. But I realized soemthign the other day... associating food with emotions is something I LEARNED.
It was after college when I moved in with my hubby (fiance at the time) and we developed bad habits. I learned to snack on the couch and watch TV. And I would eat and drink a lot at social gatherings. And after years of this, I learned to associate snacking on the couch with "relaxing", "relieving stress", "unwinding at the end of the day". I learned thoughts like "I had a stressful day, so I deserve to eat an entire bowl of salsa con queso with a whole bag of pretzels". I learned "it's the weekend, so I deserve to relax by eating everything in sight and buying more to eat".
I was thinking about this this week... and I realized - because these are things I LEARNED, then they are also things I can UNlearn. Because I did this, I can UNDO it. It is not something that was done TO me. It is not something that I had/have no control over. This is something I can fix.
This is not out of my control. And that is a good thing.
Of course, it will take a lot of work. It may make me uncomfortable at times to break myself of this emotional bond with food. But it CAN be done.
If you are thinking about having another child then yes, maintenance is much MUCH harder because you *must* gain the weight. I found maintenance not too difficult for 6 years until I got pregnant and ended up 40lbs heavier. Now's it's a struggle to get back! Good luck to you!!!
I'm not in maintenance, but I have to suggest rethinking your weekends.
Of course! I don't plan on binging. I always plan my weekends the same way I plan every other day, it's just lately I've been struggling with binging. It was dormant for a good six months and I've had issues with it as far back as I can remember and it's rearing it's ugly head again. My intention is always for one maybe two (but not on the same day) off plan meals, and often that works for me. But right now...I'm struggling. I'm hoping it's just this situation I'm in right now and when that passes things will start to make sense again. I dont want to do maintenance this way...
Of course! I don't plan on binging. I always plan my weekends the same way I plan every other day, it's just lately I've been struggling with binging. It was dormant for a good six months and I've had issues with it as far back as I can remember and it's rearing it's ugly head again. My intention is always for one maybe two (but not on the same day) off plan meals, and often that works for me. But right now...I'm struggling. I'm hoping it's just this situation I'm in right now and when that passes things will start to make sense again. I dont want to do maintenance this way...
I'm so sorry. I have no experience with bingeing but it does not sound easy.
I'm glad for the reminder to watch out in maintenance, that it really is no different than weight loss. I have a feeling I'm going to be one who has to stay on top of calories. I don't think eating more than 1200 calories is ever going to be in my future.
Of course! I don't plan on binging. I always plan my weekends the same way I plan every other day, it's just lately I've been struggling with binging. It was dormant for a good six months and I've had issues with it as far back as I can remember and it's rearing it's ugly head again. My intention is always for one maybe two (but not on the same day) off plan meals, and often that works for me. But right now...I'm struggling. I'm hoping it's just this situation I'm in right now and when that passes things will start to make sense again. I dont want to do maintenance this way...
I'm in about the same place as you. I do pretty well at my meals, but I nibble between meals and after meals and that's how I binge. I have 10 lbs to go but haven't lost an ounce for six weeks now. I have had a very stressful situation going on in my life, which should be about over by now (MIL came to visit, and is gone now, but I'm still cleaning up the "mess"). I hadn't struggled with binging for months, but all of a sudden it reared its head again and EVERYTHING became a red-light food. Seriously, even had I removed all the food from the house, you would have found me munching on the walls!
Now I didn't gain, and the things I binged on were much different - i.e. graham crackers rather than cookie dough. But I still was being very aggressive with reading books to try and control "the beast" and checking new cookbooks with healthy recipes out of the library (something that really motivates me when I'm down in the dumps). Even then, it was still really tough.
I know that my weight loss stalls when I'm stressed even when I'm being good. Lack of sleep also causes it to stall. I had both those problems as well as a binging, so the fact that I didn't gain seems to be quite admirable. What a battle, though. It's so hard when those old habits rear their ugly heads again.
Of course! I don't plan on binging. I always plan my weekends the same way I plan every other day, it's just lately I've been struggling with binging. It was dormant for a good six months and I've had issues with it as far back as I can remember and it's rearing it's ugly head again. My intention is always for one maybe two (but not on the same day) off plan meals, and often that works for me. But right now...I'm struggling. I'm hoping it's just this situation I'm in right now and when that passes things will start to make sense again. I dont want to do maintenance this way...
As a person who struggles mightily with binge eating, I really feel your pain. And I worry that if I ever institute "treat meals" I will be right back in a binging pattern and I do NOT want to go there.
I have been pondering the idea that I am simply not a person who can have "treat meals", that I need to get my celebratory "treats" in some way other than food. And would that really such an awful way to live? Given the other struggles some people have to live with day in and day out, I find it difficult to feel much pity for myself if I just can't do "treat meals", you know?
Anyway, I certainly don't have the answers, but that's what I've been thinking about. The only reason I've managed to control my serious (really, really serious) binging behavior for 75 days straight now is that I don't ever have that first bite, lick, or nibble of a trigger food and don't ever have an "off plan" meal. And amazingly, I'm not miserable!
Last edited by My Michelle; 10-22-2010 at 03:33 PM.
Hey Michelle - I manage treat meals by having very strict rules. Only in restaurants, no leftovers, stick to my "forever no's", once a week. I do not get a tub of ice cream for the house for a treat!!!
Hey Michelle - I manage treat meals by having very strict rules. Only in restaurants, no leftovers, stick to my "forever no's", once a week. I do not get a tub of ice cream for the house for a treat!!!
It is good to know people have found strategies that work for them! Were you a really severe binge eater in the past?
I'm afraid I have so many items to add to my "forever no's" list that a "treat meal" might not even be possible, lol!
I wasn't an "eat an entire pie on one sitting" binge eater, but I could easily polish off a bag of chips or a package of Oreos in one sitting.
My restaurant rules even for treat meals are - limit cheese (mainly because it hurts my stomach), limit fried foods (I would say NEVER fried food, but the occasional calimari sneaks in - love it), no more than 2 glasses of wine (try to stick to one), stay out of the bread basket, share a dessert (never get a dessert on my own), salad dressing always on side, no cream based sauces, never fries on the side, never eat an entire portion of restaurant pasta (always 3-4 times as much as a normal person should eat), no tortilla chips at a Mexican place, double veggies as often as possible, no leftovers, back to eating on plan the next eating situation.
My "treat meal" at a restaurant today is nothing like how I used to eat at restaurants every time. Even my "splurges" are careful.
I think it might be helpful for people to stop thinking in terms of "treat." Food can be tasty, it can be delicious, it can be wonderful, but if you label one or more foods as a "treat" then you're always going to want that food. It has a special place in your mind. You've given it a room of its own.
There are meals. There is food. Some meals are big meals. Some meals are small. Some are "on plan" and some are "off plan." But the "off plan" foods just can't be labeled as "TREATS"--do you see what I'm getting at?
I was on vacation last week. One night we had a big meal. Large, juicy, perfect steak, Cajun seasoning, roasted potatoes, side salad with oil and vinegar that I put on, not the kitchen. It was a big meal. I ate it all. I also had dessert. But I'm not calling it a treat. It was a meal that I can have on rare occasions, and none of the foods are either "forbidden" or "treats."
And since then, I've had smaller meals. That's how normal life is.
That isn't true for me, calling a food a treat doesn't make me want it any more. I could call chocolate molten lava cake "Steve" and I would still want it as much as I always want it. Treat may or not be the right word, but it's just a word (for me). It separates how I eat 95% of the time from the other 5% of the time. Chocolate molten lava cake isn't forbidden, but it is special (for me).
<snip>and none of the foods are either "forbidden" or "treats".
I admire that you have no "forbidden" foods, but as a massive binge eater I definitely can list foods that will absolutely trigger a binge, 100% of the time. I've spent literally years proving that very fact.
I'd be trilled with Glory's plan (and yours, which other than lingo seems similar) if I thought I could actually execute it. My problem is that for years I've proven than I can't keep those 5% foods IN the 5%!
Perhaps I'm like an alcoholic who can't have just "one drink now and then"? I may not be able to handle chocolate lava cake, ever, without paying a very high price in unintended and unwanted repercussions. I imagine that other people who don't suffer from such terrible binge/bulemic habits might have a slightly (I hope!) easier time successful integrating the 5%-type rule into their lives?
I guess I'm just too much of a foodie to never allow treats or "steves"
But I like glory's method of only having them out of the house. Although I still stubble with other stuff like cereal, crackers and peanut butter which are pretty difficult to remove from the house with a 2 yr old.
)
