Moments of doubts
 

Hello everyone
I am wondering if some of you experienced or are experiencing those moments where you are not so sure of succeeding on your weight loss journey.
I have been really motivated since I started on this journey not so long ago. But sometimes I look at myself in the mirror :?: and I wonder if my body is capable of changing.
If anyone have had that feeling, what did you do to get over it and keep on going?

Seems like I have those at the beginning of almost every month. Maybe I didn't exercise as hard as I could have and I just try to lie to myself, and wonder why oh why the scale hasn't budged. But then I remember that I have in fact lost SOME weight, which is better than none, and that it IS possible. I don't know- I can see physical changes with my body, even if they aren't SUPER noticable yet, and it makes me feel good.

Everybody's body is capable of changing... it just takes time. I know I can lose weight, but I have this funny feeling it's going to take years to look how I want. Everyone is different. You have to find what works for you.

For the most part, calorie counting is the best thing I've ever gotten into, with the exceptions of a few minor tweaks here and there. It helps me feel like I still have some control, even when I'm not exercising. I look at it this way: I spent 21 years fat, technically obese. I wasted my teen years on food. I don't want to do that anymore, and ANY progress I make now is better than what I was when I was a teenager. But there's a limit of how much "feel good because you're doing good for yourself, but sort of slack off and lie to yourself" you can dish out to yourself, at least IMO. (Hope that doesn't sound rude! It's mostly aimed at me, because I do it a LOT, but maybe you do too, idk) If you want to see progress, you have to actually work for it.


Just try not to be so hard on yourself, we all have off days, and some of us even have super-off-binge-days. I love Jillian Michaels view on things, "every day is a clean slate, a new day to start over."

(I'm not good with words, so sorry if I offended anyone! And if you can see what I was TRYING to say, please quote me and try :D I'm so bad with words.)

All I can say is, "Amen, yhahmd!" :D I most definitely have occasional doubts since I've been obese for significantly more of my life than I've been thin. Part of me has no real concept of what it would be to be thin and has no real belief that I can actually ever get there - However, I consider that to be the same part of me that thinks it's a really good idea to eat an entire bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos in one sitting :o I'm doing a pretty good job of shutting up that part of me with regards to food, so I'm basically doing the same thing whenever the doubts rear up~

For me it's not so much being unable to envision myself "thin" but rather I hate the long *** journey it takes to get there. I know it'll happen, I'm just super impatient, as most of us are. I mean, wouldn't it be great to wake up in the morning, lose another 5lbs and slim before your eyes? You just have to tell yourself that you WILL get there. That's what I do every single day, and I will. Just be diligent in your weight loss regimen. If you're good to your body, it'll come around and be good to you. This is something I'm still learning. But the great thing about your body is that it adjusts so well. You can really mold yourself into whatever you want, given you're dedicated and stick to plan. Best of luck!

Oh my gosh, I'm also in that boat. It seems every other day I'd start to doubt that my body could possibly change.

It is though... I have pictures to prove it. My back isn't being pinched by fat anymore, and my stomach has receded a lot. My calves, which grossed me out for a very long time, no longer feel like (as I referred them as) "built in bell bottoms". I went from not fitting into a large belt (needing an XL) to currently being halfway through an M belt.

I recommend taking pictures!

My biggest discouragement has been clothes. My main goal was to go down to a size 12 or smaller so I could shop at the regular stores here (toronto never seems to carry above a 12!!! >.<) at 195 I was a size 16. Now at 167 I am a size 16..... awesome. I have noticed differences in my arms and face- but I don't wear pants on my face!!!!!
My motivation to keep going comes from all kinds of different places. The other day on the subway I felt like it had gotten bigger. It was easier to weave around people and duck into a space. I don't know if it's my added athleticism from the exercize or if it's the weight loss but that's definitely a plus!
Also I was on a plane recently and got put in the emergency exit seat. The man next to me was like " I always get put here" and I replied,
"me too I get put here at least 3/5 flights and I fly a lot!
"It must be because we're small- they think we're agile." ...... hahahaha your my new best friend!
I was known as the fat girl sense I moved here because everyone is like 96 Lbs here and then some stranger tells me I look 'small and agile' Loves it!

The best thing to do is try to make the good things bigger and the bad things smaller. If someone complements you, or you reach a NSV Give yourself a sticker! My calendar looks like it came out of a kindergarten classroom because I get stickers for working out and reaching goals. At the end of the month you have a glittery cute reminder that your doing something good for yourself - even if the pants or scale don't show it.

I lose my motivation sometimes. So far I have lost nearly 30 pounds and I have yet to drop a pants size. I often feel as though I looked better before I started losing weight but then I look at an old picture and I know it's not true. I don't look much different but oh well. No matter what I just try to stick to game plan. I figure even if it takes forever eating right and regularly exercising can't hurt anything. I don't have anything that will benefit me more to do, I feel healthier when I do it, and it helps with stress. Might as well just stick with it. XD

Yup. Every single solitary day, I think it doesn't matter and that nothing's changing. I said that at 334. I'm saying that at 269. :) My scale isn't lying. The pants sizes aren't lying (damn those vanity sizes though). I can't see the difference in the mirror *that* much, but a funny thing happens when I look at pics of myself at my heaviest. I see how much I've changed.

I'm feeling phantom fat. I'll go touch my tummy or backside to confirm that I'm still shamu the super-whale...and it's not quite where it used to be. I'll reach to scratch my tummy and miss. I'll sit in the car and notice that the steering wheel lacks 4-5 inches of rubbing--my gut used to be a fraction of an inch from it.

It changes despite your perception. :) It changes in ways without your permission. It changes without you even noticing.

Hang in there and give it time.

I doubt it every day. Even after losing 45 lbs, I don't feel any thinner. I can move about a whole lot better, and surprisingly, when I had some general health care bloodwoork done "just because", my dr. said my results were "pristine". I still feel short and fat most days. I think I still AM short and fat most days ;-) I sure hope it gets better eventually. Like, am I EVER gonna get taller.

I think everyone has moments of doubt, but as long as we keep pushing forward, maybe it gets a little better over time? And I hope it helps to know we are all in the same boat and paddling as best we can.

Barb

I didn't lose a size until I lost over 40 lbs and then all of a suddent it was 3 sizes at once, so don't you give up!

Barb

I have frequent feelings of frustration but I also have frequent feelings of excitement and anticipation. I know that the only thing that will stop me from getting to my goal is me. I get very discouraged when I know I've followed my calories to perfection and I've worked out intensely and I still don't see the scale budge....or it's just a pound for the week for some reason. That's a huge mental game and it's not enjoyable. But, what is enjoyable is that occasionally, I'll get on the scale and see a big woosh either all at once or over several days. Then it stops and I'm doubting again.

I try to look at the big picture (no pun intended) and see the overall downward trend. If I don't reach my goal for the month, I don't get that upset at all because usually, by then, I'm still at a lower weight than I started that month so I try to pat myself on the back.

It took time to put it on so it will take time to take it off. I try to change my mental self talk to be more positive, but it's not always easy.

I do have that feeling. A Lot. Like almost everyday a lot. When I get that feeling I try to remind myself that the number on the scales and what I see in the mirror does not always define my success. It's a handy tool to measure how far I've come but I know that, regardless of what the scales says, when I'm exercising and eating healthier I *am* healthier.

I also know that my body is, like everyone else's, capable of changing - it's my mind that clings the most stubbornly to the long ingrained behaviors.

:hug: Keep going, you'll get there!

This is me exactly. And recently my weight loss style has made it worse - it goes slooow loss or stall, and then small whoosh. I'm always afraid that the most recent stall is where my weight loss will stop forever (or where I'll start mysteriously gaining), or that the loss will just trickle away to nothing. It scares the crap out of me.

I am trying hard to remind myself that I will keep losing weight if I keep eating and exercising right. The only thing that can stop it is me making the decision to stop it. I'm hoping that after I get used to my body's new way of shedding fat that I'll be more at ease.

Sometimes I get really frustrated and contemplate just giving up, but I never seriously consider it. And I have to realize that perpetually stalled weight loss won't happen - but I can't quit just because it's not happening at the lightning speed I want. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Just hang in there, OP. Do what you know works and it'll happen over time. Your body will change - mine changes very slowly - 43 lbs down and I'm barely in a size 12 from a 16. It'll happen.

I've been on the weight loss/gain rollercoaster since I was put on my first diet in kindergarten. Until "this time" I had never lost more than 70 lbs (and that was with prescription amphetemines starting in 8th grade), and I had never reached "goal weight." I also had never kept up a weight loss attempt for more than three years.

This time has been different, but not because I have fewer moments of doubt. I have more doubts than ever before. In many ways, I've drug myself along for this ride, kicking and screaming. I've succeeded despite a bad attitude (in that I'm a lot less willing to sacrifice for weight loss than I ever have - enjoying and living my life takes first priority. Weight loss, diet and exercise are ways to take care of myself, not things I have to suffer in order to reach a goal weight).

I can't envision myself at my goal weight, and I don't know how much more progress I can make - but that doesn't matter to me anymore. No matter how much I doubt my ability, the effort is still as much (probably more) the goal as the end result is.


The main point isn't the goal weight anymore, so I don't have to worry about "what if I can't lose more." If I can't lose more, then my goal will continue to be what it is now - to maintain the loss I've acheived so far, and to lose one more pound.

This time, the whole goal from the start has been "just one more pound." There's never a reason to give up when that is the goal. "What's the use," thinking assumes that only the targeted end result is worthwhile. There are no prizes for second place, but that's not how weight works. My ultimate goal is also 150 lbs, but we aren't going to be healthy and beautiful at 150 lbs and obese and hideous at 151. Every pound is an achievement of it's own, and every pound gone has advantages tied to it, so maintenance of what I've already lost is always my first priority.

It really took me a long time to realizise that every pound counts (almost 35 years). I always looked at weight loss as an all-or-nothing endeavor. If I couldn't get to my goal weight, then I "might as well" eat everything in sight and accept being fat forever.

Idiotic, but it's how we're "taught" to do weight loss in our culture. We're taught "what's the use," thinking, and it makes no sense, because even if you weigh 900 lbs, every pound lost counts. Every pound lost takes four pounds of pressure off your knees when you walk (even more if you run).

At nearly 400 lbs, it didn't seem that every pound counted. It seemed to me that if I couldn't lose a tremendous amount of weight that "I might as well not worry about weight loss at all." If I lost 100 lbs it wouldn't matter, because I'd still be humongously morbidly obese.

After losing 20 lbs "accidentally" (after being prescribed a cpap machine for sleep apnea), I decided that maybe I could lose just a little more (or at least keep off the 20 I'd lost). I began to realize that every single pound did count for something, and I learned that even small changes can make big differences.

I had dieted my way to 400 lbs and disability, because each abandoned diet lowered my appetite and increased my food obsession. Health issues accumulated with the pounds until I couldn't even care for myself. For two years after the "accidental" weight loss, I didn't manage to lose any weight, but I did manage to keep the 20 pounds off. I also took the same approach to exercise - every step counts, and while I couldn't "exercise" I could try to walk just a few more steps. I could do housechores even if I had to take a break every five minutes.

When I started on this journey, I was digging myself out of a deep pit with a teaspoon, but each teaspoon mattered, and it wasn't long before I could do things I couldn't before. That progress has made me realize how important it is to maintain that progress so that I don't go back to the days when I couldn't tie my own shoes, or take a normal, unsupervised shower (I used a shower chair and my husband had to be nearby to help me get out of the shower).

As horrible as it was to let myself get into such a disabled condition, it has taught me that weight loss isn't as important as independence and health that obesity can take away. I don't look at weight loss as the goal anymore - weight loss, exercise, and healthy eating are the means to a healthier me. Diet and exercise is how I take care of the body I have (and try to make it a better one). It's like brushing my teeth. If I forget to brush my teeth, I do it as soon as I remember, I don't throw away my toothbrush. If despite brushing and flossing, I get a cavity, I don't decide there's no point in brushing my teeth (just as if I find myself with a small gain, I don't decide that "there's no use" watching my diet and exercising).

I still don't know if I will ever reach my goal, but I am fairly confident that I won't backslide, because I've learned just how much every step and every pound (heck every ounce) counts. I don't have to be confident in my ability to reach my ultimate goal. I don't even have to be confident in my ability to take one more step or lose one more ounce. I only have to be willing to attempt the next step/ounce, and keep trying until I succeed (and if I don't succeed, the effort still is valuable in keeping the improvements that I have achieved).

Thank you
 

:thanks: girls!!
You are right, everyday living the healthy new habits is a victory in itself. I think I have been living for too long in my fantasy world where i dreamed I would wake up one day without any of the extra Lbs and be on :cloud9:
But I know deep down that this journey is going to take time so am learning patience. :hug: