[Cookc04]

Hi all,
I am going through as strange season in my life. My life seems to be on hold a little.
Last year I was working overseas. When I came back my mother got sick and passed away. I have no job and I back living with my dad and my much younger siblings, helping them adjust to losing mum and being the cook and washer. ( we have a cleaner fortunately).
I am not depressed I am enjoying the quiet life. I have taken the opportunity of this enforced career break to get my weight in order, and do things you say you'll do if you had the time.
But I am a little frustrated with my friendships. I seem to have two sorts of friends...
the ones who are too busy with their young families (not knocking this just stating a fact - they barely find time for their hubbys let alone their friends.) It's just a season but they aren't available much at the moment. We arrange to meet up for a walk or a swim, and we end up not going as toddler is in a rage or something.
and
the ones who I know are going to lead to my failure to get healthy. They are exactly what us 3FC are striving not to be. Everything they want to do revolves around being sedentary and eating lots of very bad food. When I suggest going for a walk and then having a coffee, they cut the walk short.
I have one other friend who has MS, I want to save my sedentary moments ( movies and country drives) to hang with her.
All this means that I am avoiding hanging with my fat friends purely because to hang out with them will sabotage my lifestyle change. I feel terrible because they are really nice people and good friends and they are the friends that have time to do stuff.
I need to find new friends but it's not easy doing so, the gym I go to is one people go to be fit, not to talk to each other. I like it, it's not a meat market and you don't have weirdos annoying you.

Have you had to 'take a break' from your friends to stick to your plan?
How did you meet your 'work-out buddies'?

I know one bit of advice would be to influence fattie friends to get on the plan with me.... and I have been 'evangelising' about C25K - and I have found there are 2 or 3 others who are interested. I hope they are good enough to commit to it.

[rainbowstripe]

I don't have any work out buddies, though I do have people holding me accountable and reminding me to keep exercising - as I have my eating under control, it's the exercising I need to force myself to do. My boyfriend and his mum are both really encouraging at reinforcing the fact I need to exercise - just last night I was on the stationary bike and my boyfriend's mum said I should do 30 minutes and I said I only wanted to do 20 and she said I should do 30. Hah. I did 32 because I know I would have felt bad if I'd only done 20.

As for taking a break from friends, I have totally done this. I have a lot of friends that don't necessarily eat really unhealthily all the time, but when we hang out it's a lot of alcohol which often (for them) leads to things like meat pies, chips, etc etc etc, any snacks. I actually didn't see any of them for the first 10 or so weeks of starting to be healthier (aside from one of their birthdays and my birthday) and I'm only now starting to hang out with them again because I know that I can avoid temptation and control what I'm consuming now - before I was worried I wouldn't be able to.

I think it's ok to do this - and to be honest about it. I told them a couple of weeks ago that the reason I hadn't been hanging out with them as much was because I was making some healthy changes in my life and needed to learn how to deal with social situations differently - and they accepted that.

ETA: I'm now at the point where I can go out with them and control my alcohol and food intake and they know that I'm trying to be healthier so there is no pressure. It just took me a while to trust myself.

[krampus]

Some of my friends are also trying to lose weight and exercise more, and while they don't live near enough for us to work out together, we keep each other meticulously updated via text message/email. Even e-buddies are fantastic influences. Some of my best "workout buddies" are people I've never met in real life!

As far as "taking a break" from friends goes, I think you're on the right track in encouraging them to take a walk with you etc. How about some easy hikes (not talking mountains or anything, just nature trails and such) or other activities where eating and drinking socially isn't really an option? Day trips to new places, seeing museums or concerts, other nonconsumption-based activities could be a good idea.